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Having IVF in 20s with donor sperm for fertility preservation?

1K views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  miamiamo 
#1 ·
Before Xmas I was speaking to a old friend of mine. She and her wife are 38 and 41 and have been TTC for a few years and were talking considering the possibility of using donor eggs. I said I would be happy to donate mine if they went that way as she has been like a big sister to me. Before lockdown I had blood taken for some tests to see whether I’d be a good candidate, I still haven’t got the results back as the clinic closed. They’ve now decided to take a break from TTC for the rest of the year as lockdown has made things difficult for them both emotionally and financially.

I completely understand their decision and would be happy to donate in the future if thats what they decide. But now I’ve got the idea in my head I’m finding it hard to drop. I’m 28 and as far as I’m aware I am in good health, although I suspected mild PCOS when I was younger but I have had regular periods for years now.

I’ve wanted kids so long as I can remember. I’m currently single and trying to buy a house so not a great time to be thinking about babies but equally I’ve always been very independent and I can see myself being happy raising a family with or without a partner. Seeing as I’m not expecting a potential parter to be able to produce sperm, I can’t get the idea of having ivf with donor sperm and freezing embryos for use in a few years time out of my head.

I’m still waiting to hear back on my AMH, FSH levels which I guess may give me a sense of where I stand hormone wise but I have been researching egg sharing. Potentially I could get free ivf cycles and help other women out by donating my eggs which is something I’d love to do.

Part of me thinks it’s a great idea and would increase my chances of being able to have biological kids in the future, which may be an issue particularly if I wanted multiple children and am getting older. Another part of me thinks that I could have an iui in 5 years time and never even need to spend the money on ivf at all and tbh I have zero issues with using donor eggs myself if I couldn’t conceive with my own eggs. Additionally, even if I was able to share eggs I would still be paying for sperm, freezing and storing embryos at a minimum. I mentioned it to a friend who thought it was a silly idea as my sister got pregnant naturally in her 40s on their second month of trying.

I know this board is not that active but anyone having any insight? Most of my friends don’t seem to understand why I’d even consider it. Mostly because they are not ready to have kids and but also they have a seeming endless supply of sperm in the form of a boyfriend/husband whereas for me having kids isnt ever going to be simple. Any advice is welcome!
 
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#2 ·
Hi there

What a lovely gesture for you to offer to donate your eggs, I am the recipient of donor eggs and have an amazing daughter that i am thankful for and owe my happiness to this lovely lady who made that donation. I think you are very sensible to be thinking ahead at 28. There are options for you to share your eggs and save half for yourself, you could pay for donor sperm and storage for the resulting embryos, or, you could freeze your eggs but i don;t think egg freezing is as good as embryos but always good to have options.

If you are in good health fertility wise you can always opt for IUI but there are costs involved for that procedure, not as much as a full iVF cycle but it does add up. Egg sharing isn't totally free as you know, you have to pay for sperm and i think storage too but the recipients pay for the drugs and pretty much everything else.

I really wish i had thought ahead when I was in my 20's, i was too busy partying and travelling to even consider what may lay ahead. Whatever you decide to do in the future i wish you every success with it and what a lovely person you are for making that offer.  ^hugme^
 
#3 ·
Hi, thank you for your post and being a kind person. The decision of donating eggs is amazing and gives hope to couples who cannot concieve. x
 
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