* Author Topic: Is this it? The end of the road?  (Read 1148 times)

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Offline Raikonen

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Is this it? The end of the road?
« on: 24/05/20, 22:53 »
Hi all  :)

So iam getting more and more upset every month and iam so scared this is it!! The end!!

I was due to have IVF with my ex husband but found out the day before that he had been cheating on me for most of our marriage. Needless to say I upped and left and didn't turn back. I had been given metformin previous to the IVF to see if that helped and when it didn't they pushed straight for IVF.

Now I have a new partner and he already has a child that now lives with us permanently (long story) I love and adore the little monkey but as harsh as it is to say he isn't mine and all ive ever wanted is a baby!!
So we have been trying for a few years and nothing, not that I was surprised, I have PCOS and was told at 21 that there's slim to no chance I'll ever conceive naturally, anyway I had to go through the motions again and have all the tests redone and my OH had tests to. My doctor is referring me to the fertility clinic but isn't sure if there's much they can do as we can't have IVF on the NHS as my OH already has a child so we don't fit into the criteria, we can't afford IVF or a surrogate and I have regular periods for about a year now. I also had a ovulation bleed (scared the crap out of me went to the doc and he said it all timed rite so was an ovulation bleed) so there isn't much hope of clomid or any other drug either apparently. We can't adopt because we only have a two bed flat atm (looking into somewhere bigger) and again we do not our councils criteria because of what our little Monkey has been through and his emotional needs, he is classed as having an SEN need as he needed counselling and extra help at school because of what he had been through in the past before he came to live with us. Iam desperate for a baby and time is running out for me, iam getting near to my biological  end, little Monkey is desperate for a sibling and my OH wants it as much as I do.

What can i do? How do i move forward? Do I have to deal with the fact I will never truly be a mummy and get over myself and move on or is there another option out there for me?

Thanks for taking the time read this.
 ^hugme^

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    Offline Turia

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #1 on: 28/05/20, 21:32 »
    So sorry to hear your story and sorry also that you havenít had replies.  I donít have the answers but wanted to check you were aware of donor eggs?  These are another option if time is not on your side (you donít give an age).  I had my miracle 3 days before I turned 48 so donít let time be an issue if that is something you would consider.

    Anyway just wanted to send hugs  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
    Turia x




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    Online Bubbles12

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #2 on: 28/05/20, 21:51 »
    Hi

    Have you looked into Egg Sharing?

    Most clinics except women 35 and under (not sure of your age).

    With PCOS, you probably have a high AMH level which is desirable (within reason) for possible egg sharers


    Good luck xx

    Offline Raikonen

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #3 on: 28/05/20, 23:47 »
    Thank you both for your replies they are very much appreciated.

    Iam 31 nearly 32.

    I was looking into egg donation/sharing but wasn't able to get much info on any of it in the UK and how it works. Not sure if I've been looking in the rite places.

    I actually had a call today from the fertility clinic which was a total surprise, apparently the doctor I Had seen a while back had transfered me (I hadn't had a letter or anything) I spoke to a doctor and he has said to me that my best option and the reccomend one is IVF and if i didn't have SS he would of started the process today but as that isn't an option for me rite now he has said he would perscribe me clomid or another I can't remember the name of of I can lose bare minimum of a stone in weight. He said to call back in a few months or before if I had lost it and he would perscribe it for me and would give me 6 months on it. So that's something rite?
    I was so chuffed, I have been out and brought a exercise bike, subscribed to a workout channel on YouTube and iam sorting out my cupboards with OH to move the naughty stuff to the top lol iam 5ft 2 so cannot reach out top shelves in our kitchen lol iam determined to lose the weight I've gained and get these tablets and hopefully get my baby.

    Again thank you so much for the replies it means alot

     ^hugme^

    Offline staceysm

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #4 on: 29/05/20, 08:56 »
    Hi,

    You have had some good advice, I just want to echo what the others have said.  Time is not running out and biologically the end at 31 years of age.  I had my first cycle of IVF at 35 and my first son and my second at 38 and got another son.  Even at 38 I responded well to stimulation and got a good number of eggs.

    I truly believed that at 35 years of age, your fertility drops over night, as thatís what we are sold by negative sources.  I am part of a fertility group from here from my second son and one of the ladies got pregnant naturally at 45 years of age.

    Never give up

    X

    Offline Artypants

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #5 on: 29/05/20, 09:06 »
    Hi there

    I also think egg sharing could be a great option for you, 31-32 is a great age still and you would be welcome by any clinic i am sure. Create fertility seem like a great clinic that has very good result with egg sharing and they seem quite ethical and maybe you could look them up as a start.

    I wish you tons of luck xx

    Offline Northern

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #6 on: 29/05/20, 16:36 »
    If you do look into egg sharing I can highly recommend the Lister, theyíre one of the top London clinics and theirs is one of the few programmes where thereís very little/no cost at all to sharers - other than freezing of any remaining embryos for future use. I did loads of research and their programme was one of the best I could find. Bourne Hall (in Cambridge) is also completely free for sharers and another good clinic.
    X

    Offline hannahdaisy

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #7 on: 29/05/20, 17:58 »
    Hi, myself and my partner have also both egg shared at the Lister. Do you know what your AMH is? A clinic told my partner that her's was too low but the Lister didn't think that at all. They offer egg sharing with a fresh transfer for free, just the HFEA fee which I think is £80ish. You'd then have to pay for any extra embryos to be frozen if you're lucky enough to get any. Much cheaper than a standard IVF cycle, but obviously a few key differences to carefully consider with your partner x

    Offline Raikonen

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #8 on: 30/05/20, 00:37 »
    Hi
    I just want to say again a massive thank you for your replies.
    I have been looking at the Lister fertility clinic and have read through their egg sharing and how it works, I also spoke to my other half and explained it all to him and how it works.
    He is really on board with the whole idea, so we have decided that once I have lost some weight (need to get my BMI back down) we will have a sit down and decide whether we go straight for the egg sharing or try the tablets first for the 6 months they will be available to us.

    I was just wondering (I know iam a pain sorry) what would you guys do?

    Iam flipping between trying the tablets first or just going straight for the IVF egg sharing, like I don't want to waste time if you know what I mean but I also don't want to miss out on a chance of something that has the potential to work Aswell.

    Thank you

    Offline Mac78

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    Is this it? The end of the road?
    « Reply #9 on: 30/05/20, 10:04 »
    Hi Raikonen,

    I am sorry for what you are going through. As the other ladies said you don't have to panic as you are not running out off the time at 31 years, unless, you have made an AMH test and know that your reserve is low. If you have not done one, maybe you should, this will give an idea where you are standing. If your reserve is normal for your age I think you should try with Clomid first. I am saying that because I tried and got pregnant on the first month. My problem was because I have POF - very low reserve and the quality wasn't good either so M/C at 8 weeks.

    I am now pregnant via egg donor as this was the only way for me. I am 42 and my donor was 32 years old- she gave 9 eggs and 7 made to blast, a very good outcome.

    Try to be patient and take this time that you are going to focus on losing weight to also look after your mind & soul as well. I am not sure if you are religious, some people find strength on their faith, I am not but meditation and yoga really helped me to be grounded so I could really think clearly before making any decision.

    Good luck on your journey.