what to do with last chance

[Dojiejo]

I am currently trying (and have been for the past 3 years) for a sibling for our son who was convinced through DIUI 5 years ago. We went back to the clinic we convinced our son as we still had donor sperm there, fast forward 3 years and we have had x4 DIUI and x2 FET (and x2 cancel FET due to issues with fluid in my uterus), the first I got a positive urine pregnancy test prior to my official test day and then negative bloods on my official test day. Our most recent FET has recently end in a miscarriage.

We only have one vial of sperm left and our donor has retired, I am 40 turning 41 in January with a high AMH. If our next cycle doesn't work it will most likely be the end of our journey for us, clearly we have been extremely fortunate in being able to have our son initially, just feeling extremely dishearten and upset by the whole process.

My acupuncturist believe I might have some immune issues (I have been seeing her since we started our treatment journey with our son 7 years ago. I also think I have issues with my uterus as I had a csection with my son and my scar at my uterus is extremely thin and I potentially have a niche. I feel like our currently clinic are now just blaming age and the need for fertility treatment being that we are a same sex couple rather than looking at any other reasons for why we are struggling with getting pregnant.

I understand we are very fortunate that we have already had one successful pregnancy, I am just at a massively low point and finding the whole process difficult, frustrating and devastating.

We are in London so are lucky we have lots of options for potential clinics.

Thank you in advance.

[FertilityFriends]

[miamiamo]

I am sorry to know your story. Age is only one of the factors, and not all clinics can work with patients who are at more advanced age. If I were in your shoes, I would probably do my research about clinics that are more experienced with ladies 40+, and would consult them to know what options are. Good luck on your journey x

[Dojiejo]

Thank you for the reply miamiamo. I have done a lot of research and just can't decide who to go with. Trying to decide between CRGH, Evewell and Zita West.

I may just have appointments with them all and go with the one that feels right.

[wilberdoo]

Hey Dojiejo
I recognise you from the donor thread a few years ago.  I've got a 4 (nearly 5) yr old now
Also one last chance for us, using our one and only frozen embryo - probably in Jan I expect.  We haven't tried for a sibling before now, i'm so sorry to hear about all your attempts not working :/
Finally decided to go for it, but I'm old and i'm worried about just one chance! And then, would we still go for more tries and do ICSI again? I'm not sure.  We are lucky that there is still donor sperm available if we wanted to do that.
Ah, this fertility journey is so hard!

[Dojiejo]

Lovely to hear from you wilberdoo, I recognise you as well (also because I think you are living in Oz and that is where I am from orginally). My boy turns 5 in January, how time flies.

I have everything crossed for your last attempt, I wish you all the best.

This fertility journey is so hard. It is so difficult to decide what is the best to do. I hope you FET transfers works and you don't have to think about another ICSI.

[wilberdoo]

Ah Dojiejo our sons are only 5 days apart Seems crazy it was that long ago.  I am also 41 in Jan! Parallel lives I remember now that you were from Oz - whereabouts?   We moved originally to Sydney in 2012, then to Perth in 2016, then to Geelong at the start of this year.  Having a mid life crisis about everything and we are considering moving back to the UK or possibly back to Sydney.   Geelong is actually lovely but doesn't really feel like home, nor did Perth really either.  Probably because we haven't stayed any where very long :D Such a pair of numpties lol.

Sending you lots of good luck vibes and I hope this last push works for you.  Shame the donor has retired - can't they get him to do one more?  I'm feeling very peed off this week that we can't just produce children like 'normal' couples - it's such a bloody palaver.  I have to get a GP referral to get medicare funding before I can book an appt at the IVF clinic which is just such a waste of time.    I know it's only a small thing but just psyching myself up to get back into the system seems a challenge. 

Take care of yourself lovely xx

[miamiamo]

@Dojiejo - good luck with your visits. If you can, ask clinics about their experience in treatment of patients who are the same age and have same issues as you are, and success rates you might have with them (not overall success rates, but ones they have in cases that are similar to yours)

[Dojiejo]

Miamiamo - thank you for the questions to ask, very helpful.

[miamiamo]

I keep my fingers and toes crossed xx