Should we try "one last time"?

[soitis1]

Hi There

I don't know if anyone will respond but thought I'd reach out for some help and this is the only place that would understand.  I have a long TTC journey but to summarize at the end of ten years of treatments and heartache we finally had our little boy on our first fet of our final round of ivf.  This was three years ago and I have alot of embryos frozen  We tried again for a sibling and have transferred four more embryos but unfortunately the first one ended in an ectopic and the next two fet's resulted in a BFN OTD.  Each time has been the "final time" but here I am again considering another final cycle of FET.  Please don't misunderstand.  I know how incredibly fortunate we are to have an amazing little boy after going for so many years with no hope but I have embryos left and I can't bear to think we are potentially missing out on having a second child.  If we had given up before we wouldn't have had our son and this is always at the forefront of my mind.  Now I am 39.  I will be 40 this year.  I know I am getting too old to keep on trying.  We have gone through so many procedures and wishes and hope and heartache this last 13 years that I feel we both deserve to just live and enjoy our son BUT it is hanging over me.  It is constant and consuming.  I wondered what you would do if you had this option of more transfers at this stage in life and just after three unsuccessful FET'S? 

L x

[FertilityFriends]

[Lola2021]

Hi there,
So sorry to hear of all that you have been through. Personally I would go on as long as I could continue with the finances, and physical/mental side of things. Its all so draining and everyone will have their own “last time”. If u feel like u can go again I would.

Have no regrets x

[soitis1]

Thank you so much for replying Lola - I really didn't expect anyone to respond but i feel so emotional about it all I just though i should try to reach out - i really feel in my gut we can do it but it's so scary to keep going and going and going.  FET is more much reachable financially than a full round of IVF so it is always there tempting me to continue.  My husband says it's me that has to go through it and he will support me with whatever I want to do.  I think just asking the question today has given me the answer in itself if that makes any sense.  I just need to believe in myself and our embryos.  xx

[Lola2021]

Wishing you the best of luck in whatever you decide ❤️

[soitis1]

Thanks Lola - and Congratulations on your BFP - wishing you a happy and healthy next few months to enjoy - there honestly is no better feeling xx

[Lola2021]

Aw thank you 😘
Very early days yet so not getting too excited. But fingers crossed everything goes well 🙏🏼

[Rio2016]

I’m pregnant at 38 with a FET. A lot of my friends are pregnant with number two at 39/40. I don’t think it’s that old. Losses and BFN’s are so tough and I’ve had four failed fresh IVFs but if you’ve got frozen embryos and the money then maybe go for it? Xx

[Herts85]

I completely sympathise with everything you have written. I have two children (toddler and 6m old) from the same freeze all cycle and still have six embryos in the freezer. Even though I'm thrilled with two children I think about those embryos all the time and feel a sense of duty towards them. It's a tough head-v-heart decision but if you can manage it financially, emotionally and physically then it seems better to try then to have regrets that you didn't.

Good luck! X

[staceysm]

Hi,

I would want to use the frozen embryos to.  It’s cheaper and gentler on you and I think as long as they are there, you will always thinking about them.  We couldn’t afford another fresh cycle of IVF after our son, but fortunately my Dad offered to pay for our cycle.  My biggest fear was getting frozen embryos, as I knew I wouldn’t want to leave them.  We only got 2 embryos and it was a relief, as I knew the door would be closed after the cycle.

It sounds like your husband is on board to, so I would say to go for it or you may always be thinking of what they could or couldn’t have been.

X