* Author Topic: If you could ask your donor.....  (Read 95164 times)

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Offline Anthony Reid

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If you could ask your donor.....
« on: 14/02/06, 15:25 »
Aside from Academic, Occupational, personal health(including psychological/genetic) and Family medical history - What questions would you like to see when profiling a prospective donor?

Tony
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    Offline MichelleM72

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #1 on: 14/02/06, 17:18 »
    -why they donated
    -how many times they donated
    -how many successes they had from their donation
    -do they have their own children

    Offline nismat

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #2 on: 15/02/06, 07:49 »
    Yes, knowing their motivation for donating is something I would really like to know.

    Offline janny bear

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #3 on: 15/02/06, 10:05 »
    Hi  :-*

    Think i could fill an A4 piece of paper ;)

    I'd like to know if they'd donated whilst having ivf.
    If they'd used frozen embryos.
    The type of drugs protocol they'd had.
    How they think they'd managed a successful pregnancy from either.
    How would they feel if the child traced them later on.
    Their views on certain aspects of treatment etc.
    Why they had decided on donating.
    Religious values
    Moral values

    Most of all, i'd like to say  - THANK YOU.

    Offline LiziBee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #4 on: 15/02/06, 13:41 »
    Following on from Janny, the thing I would most like to say is thank you!
    I would like to know why they donated (not just motivational factors but what actually triggered them to do it - an advert, current tx or what?) but I'd also like to know how they would feel about a child contacting them 18 years (or even 50 years) down the line.

    Offline viviennef

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #5 on: 15/02/06, 21:07 »
    I'd like to know their hobbies and interests to get more of an idea of their personality.

    Viv xx

    Offline Tibbelt

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #6 on: 16/02/06, 17:18 »
    Me too... I'd like to know what prompted them to donate..
    We know quite a bit about our donor's hobbies etc but if we didn't I'd like to know that and to know if they had a family of their own...
    and to have an opportunity to thank them - I'd love to be able to send a letter via the clinic (even anonymously) for example.
    Sarah
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    Offline Fifebloke

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #7 on: 18/02/06, 16:47 »
    Hi Sarah

    I didn't come across anything in the HFEA rules that said that a clinic couldn't pass on a letter, but anything other than anonymous would be a huge, irreversible step.

    While I'm sure most donors would like to feel appreciated, contact might also create a dilemma for the donor feeling that they should respond or perhaps, in some circumstances, contact could be unwelcome as it might, for instance, open wounds with the donor's partner.

    The HFEA does allow for donors to ask their clinic how many successful births have resulted from their donation.  They're also allowed to divulge the sex of the children and the year of their birth.  Names, of course, are off-limits.  I think that this information has to be enough for the donor.  That's all we expected going in after all.

    For the parents, the green form that we complete has a section, page 3, that I think you get told about at the start, i.e. things like  Occupation, Interests, Skills and Reason For Donating.  (There's also a space here for a goodwill message for the child should they ever follow-up when they're 18).

    But the form has another section on page 4 that gives the donor the opportunity to try to describe themselves and I believe this information becomes available to the parents after a successful birth (probably only if you ask though).

    Best wishes

    David

    Offline LiziBee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #8 on: 19/02/06, 15:53 »
    David - just wanted to say thanks. If it wasn't for kind hearted blokes like you we wouldn't have  our little buba-bump.
    Finally wanted to say that there is such a thing as too much information, we had to turn down a donor when I realised (from one 'critical' piece of information) it was someone I'd met (and potentialy might have to work with!)
    Lizi.x

    Offline A.T.C.C

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #9 on: 14/03/06, 14:49 »
      :'( :) how lovely! ive just read through the posts and im filling up now.
    I am going through the process of donating my eggs anonymously at my local hospital and its so interesting to hear points from the recipients side of things.
    Before i started my medication and after my counselling i had to fill in the green form that the gentleman earlier was talking about and it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do.
    I really had to sit and think what i could write about myself that be would useful for the recipient. I tried to think of things i would want to know if i didnt know what my genetic heritage was. I thought of the things that i get from my parents like stubborness, independance, etc. also things like my values and my outlook on life. It was so hard because ive never really evaluated myself and found it quite difficult to admit some of my good points. My counsellor helped me a lot and pointed out things in me that i hadnt written. Things that stood out for her through what i am doing but didnt really stand out for me cos i just presume that everyone has these things.
    The message to the child was easier for me to write - i just wanted the child to know how special they were to have parents that want them so much that they are willing to go through so much. I said that i am giving their parents a gift to help them experience the joy of bringing a child into the world. ;)