* Author Topic: Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread  (Read 187822 times)

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Offline northernmonkey

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Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread
« Reply #580 on: 1/06/18, 10:38 »
ZC - I think like motherhood in general I’m kind of winging it! With regards to the donor, I specifically wanted a one who the girls would be able to contact if they wanted to when they’re old enough. I asked DD#1 a couple of days ago if she thinks she would like to contact the donor when she’s old enough and she immediately said yes.  Ive told her I’ll apply for what info we can get now and she’s really excited about it.


Carrie - you must only have a week to go have you??

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    Offline carrie lou

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    Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #581 on: 1/06/18, 19:31 »
    NM, yes I'm booked for induction next Thurs (my due date) unless he comes sooner! Exciting  ;D

    Offline Godiva

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    « Reply #582 on: 5/06/18, 22:05 »
    This seems the best topic for your question, Beattie. Pregnancy and motherhood is enough to make anyone insecure: hormones or not, donor or not. We just have an extra topic from the selection of things we could worry about :-).
    My DD is only 1.5, but my husband mentions it every now and then to her, just so she will always have known, and to get used to it and so as to avoid having "The Big Telling" at some point in future.
    We live abroad, and telling was always the way to go for us. So much that we decided to pay for our own treatment so our children could contact the donor at 18. Where we live I could have had a large part of the treatment reimbursed, but we would have to have had a life-long anonymous donor (current law).
    I read somewhere about explaining the difference between secrets and privacy, and think we would try that once she can understand the concept. Before that there is not much point, but the topic of how she came to be will probably not be discussed with outsiders much. We do not make it a big secret, but of course do not just blurt it out any time. However when we do tell people they actually have a hard time believing it and think we are joking... They would never understand or believe what a small child is telling them on the subject, or just think she does not grasp the details if where babies come from.
    My husband is a vet, which means most of the village know who he is, illustrated by the fact that a client of his mentioned she heard we were going to move, and knew exactly which house we have just bought... It makes him slightly afraid of the moment the news of his infertility spreads beyond close aquaintances and trusted friends, but that hurdle will just have to be taken when we get to it.

    Offline ml66uk

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    Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #583 on: 19/01/19, 11:40 »
    Press release from AncestryDNA:

    "November 28, 2018 – Ancestry today announced record-sales of AncestryDNA kits during the month of November, including the “Turkey 5” period from Thanksgiving through Cyber Monday. Sales were primarily driven by purchases made on Ancestry.com as well as on Amazon where AncestryDNA was the best-selling non-Amazon branded product on Cyber Monday for the second year in row. Following this record setting period, Ancestry has now sold more than 14 million DNA kits worldwide."

    By the time they've tested those, they'll have more than doubled their database within a year.  For better or worse, it's becoming ever more likely that people who are donor-conceived will find out, whether or not they are told, or ever even suspected.

    Offline carrie lou

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    Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #584 on: 19/04/20, 21:11 »
    Hello everyone  :)  it's been ages since I was last on here and I see it's still very quiet. I just wanted to post about my eldest son Zachary who is nearly 9 ( :o :o ) I had a chat with him the other night, entirely led by him, about the donor and he amazed me with his insight and the questions he asked - it feels as if he is really starting to get it. I don't think he has yet made the leap to understanding that daddy isn't biologically related to him, but I'm sure that will come in time.


    Unfortunately their dad and I have split up a few months ago (it is for the best and I know it was the right decision) but the boys still see daddy regularly and he's very involved.


    I hope everyone else is well, it would be fantastic to hear from anyone who's still on this site x

    Offline ivyf

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    Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #585 on: 19/04/20, 22:15 »
    Wow can’t believe your big boy is nearly 9 I’ve read your posts in the past and that time seems to have flown. I haven’t been on here since last year so nice to see a new post on this thread. Lovely to hear he’s chatting about it, makes me realise I haven’t brought the subject up for a while x