* Author Topic: If you could ask your donor.....  (Read 96149 times)

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Offline LiziBee

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Re: If you could ask your donor.....
« Reply #100 on: 6/05/09, 11:28 »
I think my clinic said it was 10 individuals PLUS any additional siblings. So if the donor got to 10 children his donations would stop there but families could still reserve additional sperm to create siblings. I think our donor has 3 kids of his own, there are 2 more families of 2 children each then we had DD1 making 10 BUT we reserved more sperm and went onto make DD2, the other families may also have some sperm reserved but no new family will become involved.
To me this seems like a good number, I'd hate to think of my little girls being a small part of a hoard of half-siblings, this way we only have 3 other families to 'deal' with if or when the time comes. Does that make sense?
HTH
Lizi.x

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    Offline DapperDan

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #101 on: 6/05/09, 12:21 »
    As far as I'm aware, it's 10 families which does not include the donor's family.

    Offline fox mulder

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #102 on: 6/05/09, 18:02 »
    Hi Lizi

    Mmm I think you need to put yourself in the shoes of the other women

    Your girls are still yours even if they do end up with rather a lot of half siblings - I don't think anyone will oblige you to have anything to do with 'other' families at any point unless Gregory Peck turns up in a magnificent white suit to chuck you over the edge of a dam a la 'Boys from Brazil'

    Personally I have 4 half siblings . I expect I probably have some more in Uruguay and worryingly Brazil as my dad was in the merchant navy as a young man

    The big picture is : If a donor puts a limit on their form then given the shortage of donors that means some women will not get a donor 

    I expect the clinic will use the donor sperm until they either hit the maximum number or run out of stock and there is no guarantee that the donor will manage any pregnancies at all

    So I don't really see much point worrying about the numbers

    Fox

    Offline LiziBee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #103 on: 6/05/09, 21:07 »
    Thanks for your opinion Fox. I am aware that there appears to be a sperm shortage at many clinics, fortunately this was not the case at our clinic. In many ways I am very sorry that I cannot give 'our' unused sperm to any other couple but I do think it is right that there is a legal limit and I don't have an issue with donors setting a lower one if they wish. Better some sperm than none at all.
    And if our girls want to find their half siblings then I will support them in that and if they want to establish relationships with them then we will be involved, Gregory Peck or not.
    Lizi

    Offline *ALF*

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #104 on: 7/05/09, 09:42 »
    HI

    Just thought I'd add my two-penny-worth in on the half-sibling front.  I understand that it is 10 families and however many children each family has, therefore, yes if each family had 2 or more children you could be talking about 20+ half-siblings.
    After our daughter was born I asked our clinic how many other pregnancies they had acheived with our donor, at the time they had acheived 9, including us.  So, that's another 8, possibly more allowing for multiples, half-siblings that DD already has.  Obvioulsly this could increase if any of those families go on to have more children with this donor.  This number doesn't worry me at all, if DD wants to go and find these people when she's older then we will do everything we can to help her and will support her in every way we can.
    I do think it's right to have a legal limit and I think 10 is reasonable - as far as I see it we are so thankful to our donor, without who we would not have our precious daughter, and I know there are 8 other women out there thinking exactly the same, I can't possibly begrudge them that.

    A huge thankyou to all the donors out there who have made so many dreams come true  ^hugme^

    Dawn



    Offline *ALF*

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #105 on: 7/05/09, 09:57 »

    Just another thought;

    Donor Swimmer - if the number of families worries you so much that it could mean a choice between reducing the limit or not donating, then please reduce the limit, after all, as Lizi said surely some sperm is better than none at all and that could be 5/6 peoples dreams you could make come true.


    Offline Donor Swimmer

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #106 on: 2/06/09, 11:54 »
    Oh it won't stop me. I've slowly come to the conclusion that since prospective parents are told how many pregnancies have been achieved with that donor then the decision is more fairly theirs to decide whether to use me or not so I'm decided on leaving it at the default 10.

    It's been a very long wait due to a wrong box ticked and subsequent retesting but all passed now and CMV retest in a fortnight then in theory all go - expect I'll get my form then.

    As a donor I'd like to give a big thankyou too - to all of you who are using proper clinics, who are willing to save and pay and do this properly rather than take the cheap short-cuts available with mystery anonymous donors fixed up over the net. I truly respect the dedication and effort and feel hugely more comfortable knowing any child born of my donation will have parents who will put in the effort for them too

    I wish you the very best of luck in these lovely sunny times

    Offline Candee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #107 on: 2/06/09, 22:36 »
    Dear donor swimmer,
    I read your lovely post and just wanted to thank you, because what you are doing is a completely
    amazing thing. I am relying on two wonderful people, like you, to have my chance at being a mummy
    and I can't say it to them, so I will say it to you - thank you so much, because the gift that you are giving is
    completely priceless.
    Candee
    x

    Offline Dominique123456

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #108 on: 3/06/09, 08:27 »
    Donor swimmer - I feel the same way but you put it into words better than I could!

    As a donor I'd like to give a big thankyou too - to all of you who are using proper clinics, who are willing to save and pay and do this properly rather than take the cheap short-cuts available with mystery anonymous donors fixed up over the net. I truly respect the dedication and effort and feel hugely more comfortable knowing any child born of my donation will have parents who will put in the effort for them too

    Offline hopehopehope

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #109 on: 9/06/09, 20:13 »
    dear donor swimmer and all other donors out there. Thank you.   ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^