* Author Topic: If you could ask your donor.....  (Read 96159 times)

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Offline ceci.bee

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Re: If you could ask your donor.....
« Reply #140 on: 21/07/11, 09:24 »
thanks so much kickstarter for registering as a donor -the UK needs more kind generous and wonderful men like you and love your user name!
 
lots of love
CEci :-*

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    Offline xxHoneyMonsterxx

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #141 on: 21/07/11, 10:36 »
    Such a great thread,I've just spent the last hour or so reading it all & it's made me feel warm inside  ^smlove^

    I'm going to be egg sharing, hopefully starting tx next month, and I've been wondering about what sort of things to write and this has helped loads! So thank you to everyone for your input.

    Just something I've been thinking about over the past few days - if my recipient managed to have a child as a result of my eggs but then no more after that, I would be more than happy to donate again altuistically to help them have a genetic sibling - does anyone know if this is possible? Could I write this on the form to the couple - if they ever need to have more of my eggs they can contact the clinic who can get on to me?

    We couldn't really afford to have IVF but egg sharing has made this possible and has given us the chance to have a positive outcome. However, I would say that although the cost factor is a big thing in doing this, it is not the ultimate reason for doing so. I know of a few ladies who are really struggling with IF, cannot afford IVF but will not take part in the egg sharing programme because they cannot part with their eggs for whatever reason.

    For me my main reasons are due to the struggle I've had with secondary infertility, with losing my daughter and the fear that she would be the last baby I give birth to.  I just think of there being another lady out there, maybe in a similar position....maybe she has lost a baby & now found her eggs are no good....the despair she would be feeling.....and hopefully I can put an end to that for her & her OH. I really do hope I can help make their dream come true & would just love to be a fly on the wall when they get their phonecall saying they've found a match!

    I wouldn't wish IF on my worst enemy so I'm hoping I can just do my bit to make a small part of the world a better place.
    I wish everyone the very best of luck on their journey xx

    Offline Donna C

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #142 on: 13/02/12, 17:26 »
     Wow! I've just returned to this site after four years and I'd read a post you put on my thread and I was feeling upset that I hadn't been able to respond to you as I haven't been active on here recently. Then I scrolled down to see you got your BFP and nearly cried! Just wanted to say a massive Congrats that's all. Best of luck x

    Offline NewDonor

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #143 on: 7/03/12, 21:18 »
    This thread has proved very useful when considering what to include about myself when I donate, so thanks :)

    Offline heavenly

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #144 on: 14/03/12, 14:56 »
    It's a wonderful thread, thank you to all the lovely ladies and men on here that have donated, what a wonderful gift you are giving.  x

    We will probably be looking at DE this year, I am 46 and have been TTC for 4 years.   We have an appointment at a Fertility Clinic on Monday to discuss our options.

    Offline CC_Lee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #145 on: 7/01/13, 11:57 »
    I have been feeling a bit down recently regarding the whole babies thing so I thought I would share my donation story as it never fails to cheer me up to think about it.

    I was in my mid-thirties, and had had a string of relationships with unsuitable men, usually the kind who didn't want to settle down and have children (in retrospect, thank goodness!). Had come out of a four year relationship with a guy who had serious issues and it just felt like I would never be in a position to have my own children. I had had friends who'd had fertility issues and I just felt like I wanted at least some of my eggs to be put to good use before time ran out. So I approached my local clinic who did a good job of trying to put me off (single, never had children, never even been pregnant) but I persisted and they took me on. Initially my AMH came back very low, but I had just come off the pill and they told me to give it a couple of months to wash out of my system and then have another test to see if I could go ahead.

    And then miracle of miracles I met my amazing wonderful husband who is the centre of my universe. We got serious quite quickly and it became apparent that we both wanted to get married and have kids together, and we talked about the donation thing and decided to go ahead. At the time we were living 500 miles apart and it wasn't quite the "right time" career-wise for us to have kids, and it all seemed to make sense to continue with it.

    My subsequent AMH came back good enough to continue. I didn't really have a clue about the minefield of protocols, monitoring, how it was a lottery as to how the ovaries responded. The clinic was just a local clinic that did NHS and private, and they told me that as an "altruistic" donor my eggs would go to 2 ladies who had been waiting on the NHS for eggs, and that the ladies only had one shot on the NHS. I knew chances were slim of success and I kept telling myself that it was all about giving someone a chance, and even if it was unsuccessful it was still worth doing. I responded really well on a long protocol and had 13 eggs out of 14 follicles for donation. And then I put it out of my mind and my husband and I started trying ourselves.

    A year or so later, after the most hideous nightshift at work, I arrived home to a big envelope from the fertility clinic. Inside was a letter and card from one of the recipient couples, who had had twins, a boy and a girl! They told me that the babies were such happy babies with beautiful smiles, and that they were adored by all the family including uncles and aunts and grandparents. It was the most wonderful wonderful thing in the world and both my husband and I were in floods of tears with joy. Later on, I also found out that the other recipient had a baby, but I haven't heard any more than that from her.

    We have since been diagnosed with male factor problems and my AMH is now apparently really quite low (although I'm pretty skeptical about how useful AMH is...). We have been trying for over 2 years and have now had our first round of ICSI which resulted in a biochemical pregnancy. The counsellor who I saw for the donation asked me how I would feel if it turned out I couldn't later have my own children. I don't think I really had a clue at the time, but I can say now that even if I never have my own kids, I will still always be glad I donated. Even more so now that I understand the anguish of infertility myself. In a way I'm glad I had no idea when I donated how immensely stressful the whole thing is for anyone, let alone if you only have one shot on the NHS and that's it. But it also makes me so happy now going through it that I've enabled someone else to have a family. (That letter and card, by the way, are some of my most precious possessions.)

    Offline ceci.bee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #146 on: 7/01/13, 14:51 »
    CC thanks so much for sharing your story and your generosity, it is lovely to hear from you and good luck with your tx. I am so sorry about your MC and wish you every bit of luck for your next cycle.
     
    lots of love
    Ceci :-*

    Offline Jz5000

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #147 on: 10/01/13, 07:10 »
    CC I just had to say, thank you for sharing your story. I will be doing DE IVF this march and wow what a journey my husband and I have been on the last four years. Prior to my fertility issues I never thought I would be where I am today. I always assumed I could have kids when I was ready for them with no problems. Wow, was I misinformed...
    So far my questions for her are the usual. I do think about her all the time though. I also think  about how her personality is in person.. I guess I daydream about that a little.
    Take care all! 

    Offline scribbles

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    If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #148 on: 29/05/14, 10:54 »
    Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind but I've just donated nine eggs as part of an egg sharing cycle and wanted to give my two cents.

    I feel like I've had all my christmases and birthdays have come at once! I got my long wanted BFP and I got to donate 9 eggs!  I feel so massively privileged to have the means to help three families achieve their miracle.  I imagine my frozen eggs preening themselves ready for their new mums and dads, jumping up and down singing 'pick me!!'.  I know my eggs are going to grow into loved, cared for and incredible people because I know that their families are already imagining what amazing things they are going to do as a happy, loving family.

    On my goodwill message, I apologised for their height because I'm from a family of pit pony shaped dwarfs!!  I told them about my heritage and told them about my parents, my brother and his family.  I told them why I donated my eggs, my beliefs, studies, hobbies, talents (that only took a couple of words!) and ambitions.  I told them why I had donated my eggs and that if they wanted to ask more questions then I would be very happy to meet them, but I also respected their decision if they didn't want to and that the door will always be open for them.

    I found it easier to plan my goodwill message on paper first, read it through several times and put the final edited version on the form.  I still cried my eyes out writing it on the form but felt more sure of what I was writing.   

    Offline lara croft

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    If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #149 on: 2/06/18, 17:58 »
    "On my goodwill message, I apologized for their height because I'm from a family of pit pony shaped dwarfs."
    No need to apologize for that. I am looking for exactly that kind of donor. ;-) I am small, my husband is rather tall. I am rather concerned to use a donor who is on the tall side as well. The baby might be too big for me. I rather enjoy being small anywayl You just need a husband who reaches the top shelf in the supermarket for you. :-)