* Author Topic: If you could ask your donor.....  (Read 95433 times)

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Offline Victoria_In_London

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Re: If you could ask your donor.....
« Reply #30 on: 8/06/07, 15:35 »
Hi everyone

I had no idea that you were allowed to write to your donor even anonymously.  How would I do it and who would I send it to?

I would love to thank our donor.  I think of him regularly and hope he has as much happiness in his life as he put into ours.  I'd love to let him know that.

How would I do it?

VIL
xxx

PS - Those of you who are donors are fabulous!  :)

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    Offline A.T.C.C

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #31 on: 9/06/07, 16:34 »
    Hi there, if you wanted to send a card to your donor im sure you could pass it on to the hospital and they could pass it on.
    As ive said before altruistic donors dont do it to get anything in return but as you're going through the process (as an egg donor) you think so much about the recipient and what theyre going through etc and to hear from them would be lovely.

    Offline caz nox

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #32 on: 27/07/07, 09:06 »
    Hello,

    As a donor I sent my recipient a "thinking of you" card - I want her to know I want her to get a BFP as much as I did.

    I got 16 eggs and split them 50/50.

    I will find out on my next treatment if my recipent got a BFP.

    Carrie

    Offline fairy-god-mother

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #33 on: 27/07/07, 09:24 »
    Hi

    I'm an altruistic donor and now on another go after vowing never to do it again cos of the hassle with the hospital and guess what, 7 years later they are still as bad as ever!!!! (A.T.C.C. - I wish it was just a month but starting this in January this time and still havn'et started drugs and been told this week that it will be September before I start!!!!)

    Anyway, I'm like most donors I think. We know the joy and unconditional love that a child brings and we want to share that. I also feel that for me anyway, I just want to make the world a better place and fix all the wrongs.

    I've never had a card for any recipient which actually hurt me a bit. It would have been nice for them to have given me a wee "thank you" just to show that they care about me as much as I care about them. Never mind it didn't put me off cos I'm doing it again for a friend this time tho. We met ages ago on FF and I decided that her pain was worth putting up with Ninewells for!!!

    For you guys going through this - please send a card or a wee bunch of flowers to your donor/egg sharer . The egg collection is painful and receiving a wee minding from you will make all the difference to them.


    Kay

    xxx








    Offline A.T.C.C

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #34 on: 27/07/07, 19:01 »
    Hi Kay
    I always said i would donate one more time and im doing so thisyear. I know what you're saying about itbeing longer than a month but its worth it. I should be doing mine in september too but its been a long road this time as its a known recipient for me too.. a lady i met on here last year and she's so lovely and weve got so much in common its weird. Ive got my blood tests in August and hopefully will start my injections on my 21st day in Sep. Maybe we can be cycle buddies this time if we do it at around the same time?
    It would be great to keep in touch.
    Has your recipient told anyone on here who you are? we havent told anyone yet as i was a bit concerned that maybe id be getting more messages asking if i would donate and ive decided to make this my last time and i wouldnt want t hurt anyones feelings.
    My recipient had planned to go abroad for Ed but as we got to know eachother better i offered to donate and she accepted.
    Anyway id better go now but id love to hear from you soon.. maybe you could pm me?
    Take care xxx

    Offline Dolly1976

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #35 on: 23/08/07, 12:20 »
    The reason for donating and background: 

    I've never had children and I'm 31 years of age.

    I felt I had to do something to assist having seen the pain and the anguish my sister and her husband are going through to conceive. They are young and in their late 20's. 

    There is nothing inside me that says "I want a baby" but understand that for some couples going through pregnancy and having a baby is as important as breathing.

    Despite not having children I know that I will never have any emotional attachment regarding the process and end result. It's a collection of cells that can help in the creation of life. I'm happy to donate my blood, and bone marrow so why not my eggs? I'm a healthy woman who can produce eggs, and felt a little selfish going through my life with choices knowing that so many women don't have the same choices and options. Yes, there is a risk that I will become infertile as a result but there is the same risk with abortion. Since I've had three abortions (not something I'm proud of but the right decision for me), there was a resolute drive within me to give the choice of creating life to couple facing fertility challenges.

    So, recently I went through the process of egg donation. I was asked who I wanted to donate my eggs to during the interview process and to me this was an easy decision - "somebody that was on their last chance, possibly an older couple who had exhausted all possibilities of conceiving through all other processes". Two recipients for my eggs were found and I was told one couple were older and there was a young couple who had been on the list for a long while. When I enquired about the list I was horrified to find out that I was the only egg donor they had received in the last three years.

    I'm glad to say I produced over 20 eggs and each recipient got 10 eggs each and I was told that this was a very good if not a little on the over stimulation side. I was chuffed to learn that the recipients have made 9 and 8 embryos respectively. I pray that they are successful and go on to have a much wanted for child.

    I'm glad I went through the process, and if I feel the same way in a couple of years might even do it again. 

    I agree that the most difficult thing from a Donors perspective is what to write on the forms about yourself. How honest should I be and in what tone should I write? I have a very dry and witty sense of humour and considered this when writting the piece but then reconsidered as humour is subjective. I'm stuck and the pages still remains blank.

    Reading this thread has helped me and hopefully over this Bank Holiday weekend I will have completed it.


    Offline janny bear

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #36 on: 7/09/07, 17:16 »
    Hi Ladies.

    Thought i'd do some checking up on the threads as i've not really looked on here since January - Sorry  :-[ early arrival on twins.

    My babies are from donor embryo.

    Please, please, please don't be disheartened that your recipients don't say thank you - believe me - it's the greatest thing you have done - donate!!!!!!! out of thousands of women that have ivf, icsi etc. only a very,very small amount of you decide to donate. All the councelling in the world doesn't cover the heartache, dissapointment etc. i think it's only when you have your babies does it make you feel thankful & humble to the donor.

    My IVF over 11 years has cost appx 30k & it's not all about the money - just the perseverance & kind hearted women that are willing to donate & of course the clinics.

    After earlier posting of things i wish i'd asked - my donors were annonymous, as such i also stay annonymous ;) i think you can find any of lifes difficulties in most families if people care to look deep enough.

    I love my children very, very much & please be assured that after so many years & so many different technics, i promise that i will care for & love them, hopefully i stand for all the women that have had donor & wish all of you the very best & thank you doesn't even cover it.

    Love always Jan xxxxxxxxxxx

    Offline marina1978

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #37 on: 14/09/07, 20:58 »
    I think it's such an amazing gift to be able to do something like this for others, albeit strangers.  I desperately wanted to donate my eggs for my dear friend but my dh was set against it but that was okay, I understood his reasons, and would never hold it against him.  If he ever changed his mind I'd be down the clinic before he could say 'embryo' and start the donation process.  My dear friend did find an anonymous donor in the end from CERAM and had her little boy miracle early  this morning.  She has no way of contacting her donor but she will be eternally greatful.  This kind selfless act has made so many people happy.

    Offline A.T.C.C

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #38 on: 15/09/07, 21:11 »
    Marina thats fantastic!!! i hope your friend and baby are fine!!!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Offline Spaykay

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #39 on: 17/10/07, 19:18 »
    I think that it's amazing that ladies give us the chance to have a child...before I knew I was infertile I hadn't even heard of egg donation and can sadly say that I'm not sure I would have been as wonderful as these ladies if I had known. I can't even imagine the pain I would be going through now if the option of using a donated egg was not there for me.

    I would like to know a few things about my donor so that any future child could have their questions answered, but if I ever met my donor I think I would just have to hug her and let her know that whatever the reason...I think she's wonderful!

    Kay xxx