* Author Topic: If you could ask your donor.....  (Read 96152 times)

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Offline dianne

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Re: If you could ask your donor.....
« Reply #40 on: 23/11/07, 19:02 »
I am a recipient in waiting for DE

But of interest to any donors who are challenged by the forms

I have an adopted son and when I asked him the question what would he like to know about his birth father
(we have some contact with his birth mother)

What he was really interested in was all the physical stuff re height body shape quirks etc
Must be a boy thing he does spend lots of time in front of the mirror examining his muscles and asking me if his
'biceps look good in this'
Also of some interest were his occupation and aspirations in life
I think he is just looking for a connection that relate to himself.
He is also at the age where he is ready to ask questions with regards his history, which is the same age that a donor concieved child would have access to any information that a donor has provided


Di x


Hope this helps 

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    Offline ljalja

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #41 on: 1/12/07, 12:08 »
    Hi, I'm new to this i am a donor. I had the egg recovery yesterday. I started to read this site when i was writing a good will message to the lady that was going to have my eggs. I looked at things you had all said you wanted to ask n i tryed my hardest to put all that in the note to her, So thank you all for that but most of all i told her why i wanted to do this. I'm 25 years old n I'm married i have three great kids, One girl and two boys they mean everything to me. I love them the world i cant think of life without them. The thought of a lady never having the love n joy from a child or children that i get from mine really hurt me and the fact that i could help her have this great thing in life then why not i say.

    Some of you have said how would the donor feel in time if and when the child or children wanted to contact them I'm sorry i cant answer this. I cant tel you how i Will feel in 18 years time.I have ask the clinic if i can be told when she has the baby or babes just so i no myself i have done what i wanted to do and that is give someone the gift of life.

    The thought of having letter of the lady is great because then you no you are appreciated but i can say i wouldn't replay to her letter, not because I'm rude but because i don't need to need to iv helped her she has said thank you and thats all that needs to be said.

    best of luck to you all  :-* :-* :-*

    Offline Wendeth

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #42 on: 5/12/07, 11:27 »
    HI there, i have found this thread fascinating and have been brimming up!  ;D

    In answer to Kate (way back) we were contacted by our clinic with a donor whose receipent, for one reason or another, couldn't cycle with her.  The recipient did not want frozen eggs so pulled out.  We were offered the donor's eggs with the knowledge that I would have to get any embies frozen and then start my cycle after.  it was a tricky decision but we agreed in the end and we have 5 frosties waiting.

    After my IVF attempt failed, horrifically, in 2003 dh and i went through a long grieving process and we were told by Oxford that the waiting list for donors was years (which indeed it is for so many waiting).  We came to terms with the fact that i would probably never conceive again and eventually I built my life up and stopped thinking about having another child, deliborately. 

    In august a friend mentioned something about Bourn Hall, egg sharing schemes and a lightbulb went off in my head and when I spoke with DH it was like the most obvious answer in the whole world and we couldn't believe that we hadn't thought of it before.  BH said it would be a 6mths wait (as we said we would accept 'positive' eggs) but we were called within 7 weeks of our consultation - a small miracle i feel.

    I can't describe the enormous feeling of gratitude and love I feel for my donor.  she is also undergoing treatment at BH, whoever she is, and I am delighted to know that I can send her an anonymous card to tell her how I feel. My treatment may not work but i feel overwhelmed at times by her selflessness and generosity.  Egg donors are the most wonderful women on the planet and if we don't thank you it's because i for one didn't know if i was allowed to make any kind of contact with you.  Whoever you are, my donor, i wish you enormous amounts of  ^reiki^ for your own treatment and send so many loving hugs ^hugme^  that you will be squashed!

    I don't feel the need to ask any more questions about my donor than I already know.  It would be too personal for me and then it would also become weird.  It's extremely odd to receive DEs and I wouldn't want to know too many details. Hair, eyes, height, weight, ethnicity - this is all I want to know.

    Wendeth x


    Offline Sajane

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #43 on: 20/12/07, 10:06 »
    I'm an altruistic donor, my first time and unfortunately my last because of my age.  I will be starting my injections this month and now know I will be helping two couples who have been waiting over 2 years.

    I can't blooming remember what I wrote on the message bit on the form, probably waffled on!  I think I will send cards to both couples, better start composing now!

    My best friend is currently going through IVF, this is what spurred me on to do it, and in all honestly I wish I had donated earlier so that I could do it more than this once.
    I can't believe how such a small act as donating eggs can bring so much joy to couples, its very emotional to try and comprehend it, I was very lucky and had 2 text book pregnancies and fell pregnant very easily, so its so, so hard for me to try and empathise what it is like to be desperate for a child, hope that doesn't sound bad, but I can't, all I know is what my friend is going through.

    I won't be upset if I don't get cards/letters/flowers, but if I do good grief that will be the best ever!!

    I have asked the clinic I want to know if it’s successful and not sure if I want to know if it/they're boys or girls.

    I've been very open about it with my family, my children know, not too sure if they fully comprehend it, and generally I’ve had mixed feedback from friends.

    If at the end it is sucessful I would like to think that the couples are honest with their child(ren) and i wouldn't mind in the slightest being contacted in 18 years time, that didn't put me off.

    Well that’s it really.

    Offline honneybee

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #44 on: 21/01/08, 17:36 »
    Hi I was an egg share donor,

    Its good to have this thread as I have been given the green form to fill out and have been trying to think of things to put on it, that maybe the recipient would have wanted to know....

    I did egg share because I was going to have IVF anyway and I didn't know anything about egg share, I joined a site where a lovely lady asked me if I would consider doing this, after much thought I decided to go ahead and am so pleased I did, I feel like I have done something I can be proud of and given someone else a chance to experience motherhood and parenthood.

    I was pleased as well to find out my recipient is pg with twins, I too was pg with twins although sadly it was hetrotopic, but I still have 1 beautiful little bub growing.

    I want to be able to donate again but as a altruistic donor, I have offered the clinic I went to, to get in touch with my recip and ask them if they would like more eggs for a sibling. My age may stop me donating to other couples as by the time I will be able to do this I will be 36, I am hoping though as I have had successful eggs so far I will be accepted, my problem you see is I have no tubes but have healthy eggs.

    If there was one most important thing  what would it be?

    mitch
    xx

    Offline Spaykay

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #45 on: 21/01/08, 18:24 »
    I'd like to know hobbies and likes and dislikes, or any skills...they may like to know where they may have got these skills from.

    Kay xxx

    Offline kittyblue

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #46 on: 21/01/08, 18:44 »
    if you have a sense of humour.    what tv programmes you like?  do you read books?
    how did you do at school,   were you a pest! as a child
    did you sleep through the night, when did you learn to speak, read and write
    were you a sociable child or quiet and shy
    what do you look like obviously,  what were your parents like or grandparents etc
    what food do you like,  do you like animals gardening etc
    i could go on for ever but that is what i would like to know about my possible donor.

    Offline Spaykay

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #47 on: 21/01/08, 19:59 »
    do you have any ancestors (in the not too distant past!) from other countries?

    Kay xxx

    Offline Suzie

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #48 on: 21/01/08, 20:02 »
    Personally I would like to know about all your personality traits such as kindness, generousity, honesty etc :)

    goodluck filling in your form

    xx

    Offline SUSZY

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    Re: If you could ask your donor.....
    « Reply #49 on: 21/01/08, 22:26 »
    Well I am so lucky as my donor has all those traits Suzie just a shame the little beanie did not make it but hopefully how frosties will.
    Honeybee - you sound like a wondeful lady - good
    Kay - hi darling