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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi

I am not sure if I am posting in the right place, but hopefully if not one of the lovely 'board moderators' will move my post to the right place  ???

Apologies for the long story was never very good at being succint! After many years of trying, and having had one miscarriage I was very lucky to fall pregnant with twins and carry them to term. They are my world and every day I thank my lucky stars. My husband and I were over the moon and as far as we were concerned we had our family. We didn't use contraception because most probably, like most women on here, we thought we would never ever need it!! To my absolute shock, horror, I woke up one morning in Oct to find blood all over the bed. When I called the docs they said it could be due to a number of things but asked me to do a pregnancy test. Nearly fell off the bed when it said pregnant.......but the doc said that sadly it was most likely an early miscarriage. Anyhow was told to perform a repeat pregnancy test a week or so later, which I did. I was told it should say 'not pregnant' if the miscarriage is complete. Well it didn't, so was referred to my local hospital for an ultrasound. This revealed a 6+week embryo, with a heartbeat, but also an empty sac next to it, which I was later told was a hematomoa or blood clot - hence the bleed.

So off I went back home being told it was a 'normal' pregnancy and see you in 12 weeks (i.e. at the next scan). Spent the next few weeks trying to get my head around everything, feeling extremely lucky one minute and then extremely panicky the next at the prospect of looking after twin boys (who would be 2.5 years) and a new born baby at the same time. Well, continued to bleed over the next few weeks but it got progressively worse so was referred back to my hospital for another scan. Low and behold it showed I had had a missed miscarriage (my second to date) and that the baby had in fact died just a few days after my previous scan! I asked if I could leave it a bit longer to miscarry naturally, as really didn't want anther ERPC/DNC and they said that was fine! Turns out I saw a trainee doctor who didn't realise that 4-6 wks is normally how long they advise waiting for a natural miscarriage and I was already well into that, so unfortunately I was left to wait far too long. I ended up bleeding very heavily, massive clots and phoning the hospital as I thought I was hemorrahging (can't spell)! Went for scan next day and it showed that the sac was still there so was rushed into hospital for an emergency ERPC!

Well, sorry for the long drawn out story but I now find myself in very unfamilar ground. On the one hand I feel EXTREMELY lucky to have my boys and whilst I realise I had a journey getting there, I know that I was very lucky to be successful and have two healthy children. Initially when I feel pregnancy naturally, I hate to admit this, but I actually felt a bit depressed and overwhelmed, I just didn't think I could cope. Now weeks later, after the miscarriage, I can't help but feel that I was maybe stupid and ungrateful to feel this and should have just cherished what I had. I now feel almost a bit responsible which I know is stupid!

I am not sure if I would want to put myself through the heartache of trying for another, and possibly miscarrying again, but I just wonder if there is anyone on FF who has had a similar experience to me i.e. one miscarriage, a successful pregnancy, then another miscarriage and then a successful pregancy? Or is there anyone out there with two or more miscarriages who went on to have two or more children? Would be nice to know that maybe this isn't the end of my journey, if I don't want it to be.

I really hope I have offended anyone reading this who might think I am just greedy, or even ungrateful for what I had! Sorry if it comes across that way.

Foxyloxy xxxxxx
 

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Hi Foxy - I'm not sure where to put you if I'm honest!  Will have a think and move you if I find a more suitable place!

Tilly
xxxx

I see you've posted in the only other place I'd thought about moving you to!!  Hope you get some answers hun.
 

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Hi Foxy

I havent had the same experience as you but just wanted to say you are not ungrateful or greedy.  It sounds like you have had a really tough experience you are just expressing some very rational fears.... ^hugme^
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi thanks for your message, it's very kind and makes me realise we have all had different journeys but nonetheless 'tough' ones. It is so nice to be able to come on here and express how you truly feel and meet others, who really understand, even though you don't actually know them. Am I making any sense I wonder....... ^idiot^ ::) ;D ;D

Foxyloxy
xxxxx
 

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Just wanted to say I am so sorry for your losses.  I totally understand where you are coming from and don't think you are greedy or ungrateful at all, natural feelings if you ask me.

I am one of those people who had a m/c then my oldest DS(13) then m/c then my youngest DS(18mos). We will be trying again later in the year. I'm really hoping that it works and that it isn't another m/c. So heartbreaking and not looking forward to the rollercoaster part of TTC again.  Good luck to you sweetie:)
 

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Hello


I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult time. But in answer to your question, yes, I had one successful pregnancy (no fertility issues) and then 2 miscarriages (one natural, one 'missed' followed by ERPC) during the three years of trying to have a second child. Eventually we did IVF and I had a second successful pregnancy. DS1 is 6.5 years and DS2 just 14 months. There are definitely success stories out there.


Good luck ^hugme^


Amber x
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hi Ladies

Thanks for replying to me and giving me hope, it means a lot  ^hugme^

Foxyloxy
xxx
 
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