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Hi there

I am hoping I can join you girls.DH and I are still going through treatment but are thinking abaout adoption. I am really worried about the home studyand was hoping someone could give me some advice.

DH has 2 children by a previous marriage who live in Australia with their mother. He is a great father. So what I am worried about is

1. Will they contact the ex-wife and children to ask about us when we are planning to adopt
2. I was adopted. I am very happy with my mum and dad and have never really wanted contact with my birth mother or father. What I am worried about is am I going to be grilled about all of that and will they think I have too many biases to adopt because I was adopted myself.

Sorry to be asking these questions but I am jsut really worried.

Cheers
Megan
 

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Hi Megan

Good luck with whatever route you decide.  To answer your q's......

1)  Yes they do, but they only ask about whether they have any reason why you should not be considered.  My Dh's ex didn't reply so they consider that consent.

2)  I am not sure if they will grill you about it.  Morgana on here is herself adopted and is going through adoption.  I also attended my prep course with someone who was adopted and it was really good to hear his thoughts when we had the talk from a lady about how she desparately wanted to contact her birth parents (she had quite bitter feelings towards her birth mother) and how he hadn't wanted have any contact at all.

Hope all goes well for you
Karen x
 

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Megan

I too am adopted and we have applied to adopt (we have been allocated places on the Preparation Group in February).  I have received very positive feedback from our Social Worker who thinks my background will give us insight into adopting ourselves.  I have never had the urge to contact my birth parents, but recently I have received my adoption file and may pursue a search, with the full backing of my mum and dad.  I am also going to put together a life book of my own to show our child, when we get that far.  If you have been well prepared about your adoption (it sounds like it), then any questions the Social Worker asks should not be too much of  a problem.  I wouldn't have thought that they will grill you.

Good luck and don't worry.

Tracey
 

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Hi Megan

I am adopted and so is my hubby and we are trying to adopt. I found my birth parents a few years ago and have a great relationship with them but hubby didn't want to. When we spoke to our SW about our different approaches we were told that the main thing is that you have worked through it and come to a decision that you are comfortable with. It is not a negative thing that you dont want to make contact, everyone has a different perspective on being adopted but the main thing is you have an invaluable life experience which can only benefit any children you might adopt.

If you do find yourself adopting I am sure that the experience of being adopted will be a big plus to your child or children and from your post it sounds as if you are fairly grounded. I see no reason why SS would not be delighted to have you as an adopter. Infact my SW was nearly jumping of the chair with excitement when we said we were both adopted.

All the best in your treatment and feel free to message me anytime if you want to chat further

Morgana x

 
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