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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear All

First of all I would like to say how much I like this site - I wish I had seen it ages ago.  Anyway my long story is as follows:

I got married last May and the day afterwards I became very sick - so unfortunately I was deemed unfit to fly and told to seek a fit to fly letter from my GP so that Virgin could defer our honeymoon.  My GP told me I had gastroenteritis - my Mum thought it was the stress of the wedding. We eventually went on our honeymoon - which luckily I was not ill for!!!  2 weeks later I was then suffering from the same symptoms - being very ill and in a lot of pain (pelvic area) - so much so that my hubby took me to A&E.  The Dr there said that I had gastroenteritis - I questioned him and said that I had it under 3 weeks ago.  He couldn't give me an answer and told me that's what it was  :-\.

Unfortunately I was not well enough to return to work so I went back to my GP who explained that sometimes gastroenteritis takes a few weeks to clear up and that I should go back to him by the end of the week if my symptoms had not improved.  By this time my symptoms had intensified - I could hardly sit down as I was in such pain.  GP sent me for blood and urine tests - which all came back clear.  I then mentioned to him that I had private medical insurance and could he recommend me to a specialist.  He recommended I went and saw Dr Asante at Chelsfield Park Hospital who is a gastroenterologist.

Dr Asante sent me for a CT scan of my pelvis and abdomen and decided to send me for a colonoscopy and endoscopy as he suspected that I had crohns disease.  I remember going for the CT scan and all of a sudden all the radiographers were huddled together speaking very quietly.  They then told me that they think they had detected something but would like me to have an ultrasound - which was in a matter of minutes.  The head radiologist then explained that I had a cyst on my right ovary which would explain the pelvic pain.  Dr Asante agreed that I should go for further tests but go and see a gynaecologist to sort out the right ovary - Professor Erian at Chelsfield Park.

Professor Erian explained that it was a very simple procedure (laproscopy) to drain the cyst and shouldn't cause any problems.  Operation was booked for August 6th - a few weeks after we saw him as he was due to go on holiday.  Unfortunately it was not a simple procedure - it was revealed that I had cysts on both ovaries and some had bled into my pelvis.  Also that I had endometriosis - which had stuck my ovaries to my pelvis.  Prof said that he was sorry but it looked like that I would have this procedure done again in 6 months time.  He asked if we wanted to start a family and we agreed that were hoping to start very soon - he said that should not be a problem.

I went back to work in Sept (6 weeks after op) - 2 weeks later I ended up in pain again and was rushed back into A&E.  They told me that I should seek the advice of my gynae but I could go back to them if I had any further problems.  I went back to work the followng day and went back to see the Prof.  He explained that I should go on a hormone injection called Zoladex in the hope tht the endo would be suppressed so that I could fall pregnant.  He arranged for me to have my injections at my GP practice.

2 weeks on a visit to my parents I started bleeding heavily.  This continued onto the next day when I was at work.  All my bosses said that I did not look very well - I felt awful - so I went back to see the Professor.  He was very understanding and said that he would like me to stay in hospital overnight and he would see me in the morning.  The following day he told me that my lung and kidney functions were very low and that I should stay off work for the week and get as much rest as possible but I could continue on Zoladex.  After only 1 day back at work - I then had the pelvic cramps again - but since I was due to see Dr Asante I would ask his advice.  I didn't need to ask he had one look at me and admitted me overnight straightaway.  He said that I had severe IBS and would try me on some medicatin to help ease the symptoms.

I didn't go back to work after this episode as I was very ill and in pain for weeks on end.  It was then time for my check-up with Dr Asante - who told me that he wanted me to come off Zoladex so he could concentrate on the IBS.  He would speak to the Prof and take it from there.  Professor told me that he wanted me to have a MRI scan to see what the state of play with my pelvis was.  It was detected that I had another big cyst on my right ovary that needed removing.  It was agreed that I would come off Zoladex and have another laprosocpy (beginning of January).

This laproscopy was again not straightforward not only did I have another cyst - I had several adhesions which stuck my bowel, bladder and abdomen to my pelvis.  I was then told to stay off work and go back to see him in 6 weeks time.  The Professor went through all my options and explained that I had severe endometriosis and he didn't think laproscopies were the way forward for me.  Zoladex was not an option - as it had not helped one little bit.  My only option was to have a full abdominal hysterectomy.

I sat and cried with my hubby for weeks - hoping that this was just a nightmare but then we both came to the same conclusion that my life was important.  I am 37 years old we could adopt a child/children - and I would feel so much better about myself.  I would be able to get back to normal.  So this was booked for 4th April - 6 weeks ago.

I have booked off work for a further 6 weeks - my GP and Professor tell me that I have had major surgery and I need time to heal.  I have not been well since the hysterectomy - urine, chest, bladder infections, palpable bladder problems (which are being dealt with) and a very heavy cold.  I still feel pain in the pelvis and get tired very quickly but I am not as tearful as I was. 

I would like to move on and do something positive - I ordered the book "Adopting a Child" from Amazon - I read it all the first day and got so excited.  Its now hubby's turn to read it - and I can't wait for his response.  We always wanted children - we met eachother late on in life when we had both been in long term relationships which had failed.  I have found my soul mate - we laugh, cry, poke fun at eachother and I can tell him anything.

My question is do you think it is too soon to start thinking about adoption?  Would you suggest contacting a local authority and a few independent agencies - or concentrate on the local authority first of all? 

I am hoping to get back to work in August - they have been great from day one of my illness they have told me that my job is safe.  They told me I must just get better and feel 100% before coming back to work.  I am a Legal PA - it is a lot of running around (after bosses) and is very busy.  Just thinking about all those procedures - which I have probably forgotten - makes me feel nervous.  I also travel to London - 1 hr 30 mins on a good day. 

Look forward to any advice and replies.  Thanks for listening and sorry to go on....


Rachel
 

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Hi Rachel,

welcome. It sounds like you have been through the mill! So sorry to hear how its all went for you, but i think i can speak for everyone on here in that adoptions is amazing. We adopted a little boy 2 years ago and are doing our home study for number 2 at the mo. We were told we'd need ICSI to conceieve but decided it wasn't for us and we have absolutely no regrets what so ever.

As for what to do next. My guess would be that your local LA would rather you were back to full health before starting an assessment. But it will do no harm to phone some of them up and ask for an initial meeting/chat. Then they'll have your names. Good things to do in preparation are lots of reading. There's a list of recommended books. Get yourselves some experience with children, friends, familys, volunteer at a nursery or playgroup. Its all stuff that will make you look really committed. They'll (the social workers) will probably ask you about work and how you manage that commute with children, so that worht thinking about......can't think of anythign else at the mo.

good luck with it all and i hope the healing continues more smoothly for you,

xxruthie



 

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Rachel - what an awful experience you have had ^hugme^ Adoption has given my husband and I new life after 5 years of failed treatment. Although we're only 3 months into the process, it has brought back hope and the chance of a family. I hope your DH feels he is ready to move on as it's very rewarding. Take care of yourself in the mean time. Please join us on the adoption virgins thread as we are all at the start of our journey towards getting our family. There is also a chap on there if your DH felt he could come on here, and he has been through a similar experience to yourselves and is a pillar of strength on here for people.

Hope you visit us virgins soon

Take care

Kay xxx
 

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Hi ya,

Wow very similar to my wife, although we managed to get through 4 IVF treatments ( i don't know how, but we did ).
I really feel for you both, Endometeriosis turned our lives upside, one terrible condition and to be fair you both deserve a medal for supporting one another through this. It was such a testing time for us both.
To be honest all my memories come flooding back to me after reading your post.

I would like to thank Kay for making me aware of your post as i can totally relate where you are coming from.
Ruthie has also given you some good advice there, you do need to get to nearly full fitness, and DW was recommended to get back to work on her normal hours, all this will support your Medical with your GP also you need to show you are fit enough to Social Services.
It will do no harm what so ever though to contact Social Services and start the ball rolling, gather some info and you are doing the right thing in reading... can i also recommend for your DH a book called 'Adoption and approaching Father hood', i found this book great and it really opened my eye's to the Adoption process and Adoption.

After 15 months of my DW being off work with ill health and a major operation we are finally going to panel very soon and our SW has already been talking to us about children.
The Adoption process has probably been the positive experience that we have been through in the last 6 years, i can't say enough about it and our SW has been fab.

Start dipping your toe in the water, as it did my Dw the world of good to get the ball rolling as she felt the same as yourself

If you want to chat further, you could send me a personal message.

Good luck on your journey, i wish you all the very best

Jon x   

 
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Dear All

I just wanted to say thank you for responding so quickly to my message.

I look forward to chating with you soon on the Adoption Virgins site.

Take care.

Rachel
 
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