[Clarabel]

I don't know anything about the adoption process, waiting lists, costs, chances of getting a young baby, etc. but I hear it isn't easy. I am listed for IVF at the moment but because of there being possible "risks" with me carrying the baby ("risks" are ill-defined at best) plus a family history of unexplained still-birth, and an unfortunate tragedy last year in which my friend died in labour I just feel there are too many signs telling us not to go through a pregnancy. I wouldn't know where to start, so if there are any leaflets, etc. you can point me to then that would be great.

I feel silly using these circumstancial events to put me off trying for our own baby, but I just don't think I can handle any more. How long did people wait to go through the whole process? I couldn't bear for the donating parents to change their mind at the end of the process and I know they are allowed to do that too. We have also talked about dropping the whole family thing and getting a puppy instead, but you all know it isn't the same thing.

Now I'm rambling...

 

[lisaw36]

Clarabel, just happened past your post as we are considering adoption too. I think everyone is soooo individual. Adoption agencies in my area do not consider you an option until you have given up on ivf or any fertility options for at least 6 months. then the whole process begins which can take at least a year. it is for the sake of the child and for you to give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your own child. it is not easy to adopt ............. they make it very difficult for good reason and the child is the first concern. it seems very difficult to us who want a child so much for that to be a negative factor in adoption. We have decided to give ourselves one more go at ivf. i wish you lots of luck with your decision.

Lisa
x

 

[KarenM]

Clarabel

There are numerous books available on adoption (check out Amazon, they have a good selction and give you the reviews too). A good one I had to help us decide if it was for us was "The adoption experience" by Ann Morris (in association with the Daily Telegraph)

The other place to get a wealth of information is is the British Adoption and Fostering Association.

Their web address is www.baaf.org.uk.

Alternatively, contact your local Social Services. They all work in different ways, but ours send out a Social Worker (SW) to talk you through the process and to quell some of the myths surrounding adoption. you can then decide if it is for you.

Good Luck
Karen x