[kimmycoo36]

Hi there...

I used to use this forum 4 years ago when my DP and I where starting our first round of IVF with my sister as my donor. Unfortunately my sister pulled out at the very last minute which left us both absolutely devastated.

I am now 42 and have 2 children (aged 19 & 17). My DP is 35 and has no children. We are entitled to 1 go at IVF.

My dilemma is this... My daughter has offered to donate her eggs to me! I just don't know what to do. Its a lovely heartwarming offer and I am very touched. Can my daughter donate eggs to me? I was doing some research prior to posting here and found messages from people who had their daughters eggs. I think there are obstacles to overcome like I would in theory be carrying my genetic grandchild!!! I don't know how that makes me feel. My daughter is positive she wants to do this for me.. I can assure you I haven't been badgering her at all. I had given up on all of it because of the stress and followed my career instead...

Aaargh my head is up my backside with it all.

Thanks in advance

Kim

 

[Surfergirl]

Hi,

Hope you don't mind me replying. Am also the recipient of donor eggs and now have a 7 month old baby girl
A couple of thoughts. What your daughter has offered is amazing. How do you feel about it? Is it that continued genetic family link you are wanting? (I saw you started with your sister as donor). Sorry, I'm probably not making much sense here but it's just that if you are not comfortable with using your daughters eggs then she could donate to another couple and you could be pushed to the top of the waiting list for eggs from someone else. However, I appreciate that your daughter may only want her eggs to go to you. Also, her age may be a consideration as I know that generally they like donors to have completed their own families before donation in case of future problems conceiving. Have you spoken to an IVF clinic about it all? These are just issues we were told about by our clinic.

Good luck xxx

 

[kimmycoo36]

Hi there Surfer girl and thank you so much for your reply....


Firstly congratulations on the birth if your daughter


Yes it is amazing that she has offered me her eggs.  She seems adamant that she doesnt want any kids of her own and I have explained to her the implications of egg donation and how there is a small possibility it could leave her infertile.  I am comfortable with having my daughters eggs but I mentioned it to my sister today and didnt expect the reaction from her really.  Considering she was going to donate to me there seems to have been a total flip around to a different attitude.  Very weird.  Its ok for her she's just had her 5th baby naturally!! I have felt really envious and upset (and broody) that its ok for her to keep having babies.  She's now been sterilised but at least that was her choice.  Mine was taken away from me through my illness.  Sorry I must sound so jealous :-((  I am very lucky to have 2 children already I understand that. Some people aren't so lucky...  My daughter said she would rather give to me but will talk to her about possibly donating to someone else.  I will make an appointment for daughter and I to discuss with my doc.  On my last visit there she was willing to refer me back to St Mary's. So at least the option is still there for me and my DP.


Thanks again for your advice


XXX