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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Everyone,

I've been looking on this messageboard for a little while but haven't posted before - was hoping someone may be able to give me some advice

We've been linked to a little one and had a visit from the social worker last week - am trying to be discreet and not give too much away because I'm feeling quite paranoid at the moment and wouldn't want them to see my post as we're in enough trouble :)

Basically the visit went really, really well with lots of positives. But then just as my Husband and I were watching a DVD of the little one the sw started to talk about timeframes - we first heard about this little one the end of March, it took until June for a visit and they wanted to plan matching panel for October which seemed such a long time to us as we can think of nothing else and are so looking forward to finally being parents after years of our lives being on hold trying and waiting. Unfortunately feeling a little upset we asked if there was anything they could do to move this date forward - the placement order was granted in January so we weren't sure why it would take so long. It turns out the sw is on holiday in August but then we wondered what about July or September?

That evening they rang our sw to say that they think I'm too emotional (my sw pointed out that it's an emotional thing that we're doing but they didn't seem to care - and it wasn't liked I burst into tears or anything, just asked why so long.) During the visit they said they definitely wanted to go with us and now they're saying that they'll have to discuss it with their manager. All I can think about is this little one that we've known about for so long and as we're the only couple that they were visiting have already let ourselves get attached to.

Was just wondering if anyone would have any advice as I'm going out of mind. Sorry for such a long rambling post! Hope you're all having a lovely weekend x x
 

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sorry no experience here but wanted to reply anyway! Im sure one of the more experienced posters will have advice!!
Hope it all works out soon for you.
((((big hugs))))
R xx
 

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Firstly, I'd like to send a  ^hugme^ of support.
And welcome to these boards!

You have no reason to apologise for being emotional. Believe me, I was a nervous wreck during both our matching processes!!

It does seem like a long drawn out process, especially if he was "freed" in January, you'd have thought the SS would want him placed as soon as possible. But that is SS all over I'm afraid. Holidays and sickness always delay things and unfortunately they never seem to see our point of view, over waiting. To them, it's just their job, to us, it's our whole lives.
I know where we live, the panel only meets once a month, sometimes twice, and it's usually booked up for 2 months in advance. I do know though, that they generally put matching panel ahead of approvals, so even if panel was booked up for September, if they wanted to have this child placed, they could squeeze another spot in for your matching.

Hoping that you hear something early next week. Try not to panic (easy to say, I know), things will work out, I'm sure.

Good luck

x
 

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hi there

Just wanted to add my support.  When you have heard about a child it is very natural to want to meet them asap - any potential adopters would feel like that and would be very disappointed to wait until October.  Your reaction therefore to me sounds very understandable.  I also think it is positive as it shows that you really care about this child.  Personally I would be concerned if you were indifferent about timeframes.

I also think it is awful that they expect you to wait until Oct for matching panel.  Surely it can't be in the child's best interests to wait this long.  When we were linked with our little one the placement order was obtained in the morning and we went to matching panel in the afternoon. Intros started 4 days later. But then she had an absolutely fantastic SW who wanted to get her into a permanent forever home asap.

Do hope it works out for you and that things happen more quickly than October.  Hopefully the SW's manager will see sense and it sounds like your SW is very supportive which is good. 

Take care
xx

 
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi Guys,

Thank you so much for your replies - it's reassuring to know that other adopters would have been emotional and think that October is a long time to wait too.

Our sw spoke to the family finder today and the good news is that it seems that they still want to go ahead with us and that they have a tentative matching panel date of 19th September - which is still a little way off but much better than October  :)

The only little bit of a bad thing is that they want to come down for another visit and my Husband thinks this is ridiculous so is a little  :mad: at the thought of having to smile nicely all over again!!

Thank you again - am crossing my fingers that it will all go a little more smoothly now as I can't wait to meet her.

Best Wishes x x
 

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Good luck for your next meeting.

And September will soon come along!!
We first knew about our new DD in January and the thought of waiting until May for panel was awful, but it came round soooo quickly!!!

Just tell yourself it's only 13 weeks away!!!!  :eek: And before you know it, you'll be saying it's only 6 weeks, 5 weeks, 4 weeks! And then you';ll be panicking  ;D That's just how I was!!

x
 
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