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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, so a little about me really. At 25 and after having our first child really easily we were surprised to be struggling to conceive. After having tests, my AMH was less than 0.2 and was told my egg supply was worse than a 50 year olds and my chance of conceiving was nearly impossible without intervention. Because of the extremely low AMH I was recommended to bypass IVF and move straight to donors. I originally went against advice and tried IVF, the first cycle got suspended as my body overreacted to the extremely high dosages of drugs I needed to stimulate, the second cycle resulted in 2 eggs and a day 2 or 3 transfer. This amazingly was successful but heartbreakingly ended in TFMR. It was then decided when I lacked in quantity I also was lacking in quality. We then moved on to donor eggs in Spain. Fresh cycle failed, FET1 ended in chemical pregnancy & FET2 ended in a successful pregnancy and birth of a baby boy. I was okay with telling him about his conception and was planning to start bringing it in around age 4 or 5…. However, surprisingly, 6 months after his birth I fell pregnant, naturally. We had this baby July of this year. He is the double of his older sister, and now find myself struggling with how they will feel as they grow up. My boy by egg donation is the double of his dad and is red haired, and the 2 natural babies are dark haired like myself. My question really is, how did you tell the child/ children? How did they react? I always thought I would down the route of ‘mummy’s tummy was broken’ but I feel that may be confusing, as somehow another baby came from there after. I’m just worried he will feel isolated, especially as the other two are each other’s doubles. Has this happened to anyone else?
many advice/ stories welcomed, we haven’t been that open with friends or family about our journey so don’t know where to go for support xx
 

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Hello
Congrats on your 2 children.
Tell/not telling is all very personal and only u know whats best for your family and right for u.

I would recommend:
definingmum.co.uk
and
www.dcn.co.uk
for advice and support .
Usually people start with child friendly story books to explain to their children about donor conception .
Both these organisations offer a range of these books. If you are telling


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This is a really good question, which I will be facing in a few years myself. Unfortunately I cannot offer you any advice but I will be watching this thread closely to see what others recommend. Preferably answers from parents of donor children to see how they dealt with it. I suppose every child is different and some will react differently to the news. Good luck 😊
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thank you for posting! I definitely want to tell, so I will definitely look into those sites you recommended. I’ve always wanted to start telling him when he was young so that he doesn’t feel like it’s some secret when he grows up. It’s just going the right way about it, there’s so much ignorance in the world and I don’t think unless you’ve experienced infertility you understand. I’ve had so many unwittingly hurtful comments given to me over the years that I don’t want any of that hurt dealt to him too because of it. I just hope the fear is worse than the reaction.
Thank you x
 
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