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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi
DH wants to go away with the lads for a weekend in May. The weekend is in Edinburgh and we live on the south coast, so not at all close to home. I'll be 31 weeks by then and am worried in case I go into preterm labour with the twins. There's no way he'd get home and I would have to get myself to hospital, deal with DD etc by myself until family could get to me. I feel like public enemy number 1 as I don't want him to go. How would you feel about this one ladies?
 

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Hi,

Well I would be a little peeved to. not becasue of the risks of pre- term labour but becasue I was being left heavily pregnant on my own with DD while DH hubby goes of and enjoys himself.

Hopefully you wont go inot to early labour and you can alwasy see hoe the pregnancy is going nearer the time as to how you feel about that one.

Prehaps say that if he goes away with the lads then once the twins are born you will be going away for a weekend for a well deserved rest while he looks after all 3 children - only fair I say

Donna xx
 

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Oh dear, what a toughie.  Me and my DH agreed that he would not be more than an hour away from me at any point past 30 weeks. And then of course i didnt give birth till my planned c-section at 37.5 weeks later.

I utterly sympathise with you - i was very worried about ending up in hospital early and having to cope by myself - but i also must sympathise with your DH...those last 2 months were so wearying becuase he ended up having to do more and more for me and there was nothing he could do to make me feel comfortable, so the time did drag.

How about you agree a compromise - 32 weeks and no going away after that.

And you can use that weekend chosing, packing and repacking your hospital bag!!

A
 

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I personally wouldn't stand for it  ;D ;D ;D  But that's just me!

MY dh did turn down a stag night around the same time, just in-case but I have to say that was his own decision. 

It's horrible to think that you might be stuck alone should things kick off.  I remember we went up to Inverness (we lived in London!) at 31 weeks for a holiday and I was terrified we would be stuck up north away from our consultant, I made us come home after 4 days it was just too much stress - we were supposed to be there 8 days!!  As it were, they didn't arrive until 36 weeks but I don't regret my decision one bit.

Good Luck - big  ^hugme^ for you

Amanda x
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks eveyone  ^hugme^
I think my problem isn't so much that he wants to go away, its the fact that he's chosen to to go the opposite end of the country! He'll be flying, so it would take him at least 4-5 hours to get home with car journeys either end IF he can get a flight. If he's been out drinking (which obviously he will have been) then they may not let him fly. My compromise is that they stay fairly local and go out in London, so he could get back if necessary as the chances are I'll be fine. Unfortunately he's not willing to talk to the others about this and change their plans (nothings booked yet). I don't want to stop him going as he's rarely does this sort of thing and is usually really considerate. I just want him to put himself in my shoes for 5 minutes  ::)
 

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Hi

Well my opinion is that like you said maybe if he went somehwere near then ok but I wouldnt have him go anywhere further afield from now on really especailly as you are carrying twins and you have a daughter, you dont need any extra preasure especially as you are now getting further on

I really hope you can work something out, you are not being unreasonable at all, I cant say you are not being hormonal as there isnt a time when you will be more hormonal ;D but that is not why you want him to stay though

God bless
sarah
 

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Hard one!!

I think he should be able to discuss with others and choose a closer venue - but as he is unwilling to do that I would let him go. If you stop him he may resent it for ages after and hold it over you when he really is restricted when the babes come along. I would chat to a family member or friend nearby and ask them to be a stand in - and have a plan ready just in case. if you did go into labour he would feel terrible and really guilty!! Thats probably what i would do anyways!

Mary xx
 
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Tricky one that.  At your next ante natal appt, ask how they are getting on.  At 31 weeks, I would have thought it fairly unlikely that anything would happen if the consultants are happy with their progress and don't see anything to cause concern.  But, it is the opposite end of the country and I know that my DH wouldn't have even asked, he would have said he wouldn't go that far (but he's a bit odd like that ;))

DH stopped planning so many business trips away from the office around 32 weeks and then stopped drinking throughout Feb in case of emergency dashes to the hossie were required.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think I'm also paranoid as I bled a lot through my first trimester. It's made it harder to relax about it all. Also we come back from holiday on the day he wants to fly out so I'll be left to unpack and do the sodding washing!! ^bigbad^ ::) xx

 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for letting me rant - very therapeutic!!  :)
 

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I don't think you are being unreasonable.....I didn't even let DH out after about 30 weeks and banned him from drinking too.  We too had DD to think of about and by 30 weeks I honestly couldn't do that much and depended on DH to bath DD etc.  I think if you're going to let him out, make it local, it's only fair and surely he can see your point.
 
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Slinky, I asked DH about this and he said that he would't have even planned to go so far away at that time.  He said he might consider staying local but he said he'd rather be home with me in case anything happened.  So there you go, my DH might be a right one at times, but I can't say he doesn't think of others!
 

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Slinky, your definitely NOT being unreasonable especially as you'll be the one left to all the holiday clothes washing, ironing and putting away and loook after your DD and lool after yourself as well.  ^bigbad^

My DH gave up drinking (his idea) the night we had a massive scare (bad bleeding at 13 weeks  :eek:) and now, even though he is an avid motorcyclist and often gets asked to go out on "Ride outs" almost every weekend, he won't be more than an hour away from me and hasn't been since we had the scare. Try to make your DH understand what its like being in your shoes and to see it from your point of view, your not making demands of him, just trying to make him see how your feeling!!!

Hope all goes well

Love Pea XX
 
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