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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a newbie and was hoping to chat with someone who has been successful after their partner's cancer treatment.
My dh was diagnosed with testicular cancer in April this year and we have had 3 failed iui's through Pinehill and Harley Street. Was hoping someone else out there has been in a similar situation and has been successful.
;) :)
 

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Hi Sicknote
Welcome, not been in a similiar situation but wanted to wish you all the best with your transfer tomorrow.
Chick
 

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Hi sicknote,

Sorry to hear about your partner's cancer and then the failed IUI's.

We have had 2 failed ICSI's and one failed FET. My DH is also a cancer survivor and due to a mistake by the hospital we do not have sperm from before his treatment.

We were lucky enough to obtain sperm through a testicular biopsy.

Are the IUI's from banked sperm?  Do you go through the 2ww and the embryos fail to implant.

After our failed ICSI attempts we discovered that it may be a problem with my immune system destroying the embryos and we are now investigating down that route.

Hope that you get some ansa's soon.

With warmest regards,
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
dh had one testicle removed but stem left in so the remaining one will hopefully, eventually start producing new sperm at sometime in the future. He left 16 vials in storage before his chemo started but we have used them for iui's and now only have 8 left. We are trying another iui tomorrow but are undecided whether to go on to ivf if it fails as it would mean another laparoscopy for me because of my pcos or whether to keep our fingers crossed that dh's sperm returns and do more iui's?
 

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Hi Sicknote,

Welcome to FF!

I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow.

Laine x
 

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Dear Sicknote,

I really do sympathise with your position. Sorry, I have not had an IUI so am still trying to get my head around the proceedure.

My DH also had a testicle removed but the other one had been undecsended as a child and did not work properly anyway. The Consultants were amazed that we got any sperm out of the biopsy but we did.  We went straight onto ICSI.

Can they tell why the IUI's are not working? Do they blame it on the PCOS?

I remember surfing the net and finding info about sperm production returning but the percentages I found were not encouraging.  The Consultants said that my DH's remaining testicle had probably never produced sperm properly and he still has none in his ejaculate. The cancer was in '99.

Sorry to sound so pessimstic. It's the last thing you need the night before an IUI.

Will be thinking of you and sending cyber baby-dust in your direction!

With love from,



 

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hi everyone, i'm kate and i'm new here!
i'm 29 and my husband jason is 33.  jason has cancer and was given chemotherapy for five months jan-may 2004.  he banked sperm before starting.

we went to see doctor at liverpool womens hospital to discuss trying for a baby.  he said that because we already have a baby girl (ashley is 8 months), the nhs may not fund icsi and we might have to pay for it.  worse than that, he said current waiting list for icsi is 18 months to 2 years.

we're really wanting to act quicker than that, especially since jason's illness is incurable.

doctor said that he wants to test jason's current sperm in two months (i.e. six months after finishing chemo) and that if sperm is present we could try to conceive naturally.

questions....

1) does anyone else in similar situation know the likelihood that nhs will pay for icsi for us?
2) does anyone know whether there are risks involved in trying naturally six months after he finished chemo?  i.e. risks of abnormalities in resulting foetus
3) does 18 month icsi waiting list sound typical?  is there any way round it?

thank you  :)
kate
 

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Dear Kate,

I am so very sorry to hear about your husband.

I was able to obtain some funding by applying direct to my PCT. Originally my GP turned me down due to my age. The PCT's have a set criteria by which they will approve IVF funding.

My PCT will not approve finding for people who already have a child, women above a certain BMI and age etc. As I discovered this is not set in stone.

I found the name of the person at the PCT who arranged the approval and had to submit a written request - rather like writing a business case.

The PCT approved mine due to the exceptional circumstances of delays in the treatment of my DH's cancer and a blunder by the hospital in not storing a sample before treatment.

Would you be able to do a IUI using thawed sperm from before the chemo? Does it have to be ICSI?

After the first hurdle is completed (i.e. getting the funding) you then face the second - getting the actual treatment. 18 months sounds right for some clinics but varies considerably.

Make sure you get a list from the PCT of all clinics that are contracted to provide this "service" and ring them all. Check success rates on the HFEA website for each clinic as well.

Hint : if you get some good news make sure they follow it up in writing as I have been led up the garden path before....

The next hurdle will depend on your PCT's written proceedure. Mine insisted that I undergo extensive testing before they would even refer us to the clinic. This was an enormous waste of time... I harrassed the Consultant and the hospital to jump the q...

Then came the actual IVF clinic. That's another story and I'll have to write that another time as I am running out of energy.

HINT: It pays to make friends with the person who controls the waiting list!

Be prepared for (possibly) burned out and unsympathetic NHS Consulants who may not consider you a priority and are not sensitive to your husbands cancer. It may all go perfectly OK a great person - or you may be able to "grin and bear it".

In the end you may be so exhausted and ill-treated that you decide to go to a private clinic.  ICSI can be an exhausting, time consuming and disappointing rollercoaster that no warnings can prepare you about.

Wishing you all the best. Hope that I didn't put you off.  It is do-able and women on this wonderful site will support you at every step of the way.

Sending you all my sympathy.  Will try to dig out some info on post-cancer sperm if I can find it in my disorganised filing system.

With love from,
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Kate so sorry to read your post. Hope you are ok, dealing with dh's cancer and a little one must be hard.
Have they said why you have to have ICSI. Is there not much sperm?
We have 13 vials and were advised to have iui it's cheaper at 450 a go and u can do it at any fertility clinic anywhere that has a liscence to use frozen sperm, we have our scans done locally and travel to london for the transfer.
How long did it take to get pregnant with your little one, if it didn't take long it may be worth considering iui.
You don't have AS MANY DRUGS AS ICSI AND IT'S LESS INTRUSIVE .
I know it's hard to stay focused, what you need to do is find a good consultant, ours is fantastic (we live in stevenage herts)
and i trust him completely.
Not sure about waiting lists and stuff, because i'm only 23 and dh is only 25 we were told we are too young to really be added to lists!! so we are doing iui at the moment because it's cheaper.
If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask and feel free to mail me at any time. There are others on here in a similar situation to ourselves.
#Shannon 2000 may be worth sending an e mail to, she is having ICSI at Bourne hall in Cambridge and appears to have the same type of problem that you have. She is also very young and i'm sure you will have a lot in common with her.

Luv Ju
 

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Hi

Thought i would put my history down! to see if it helps anyone at all!!!    

DH dx with Leukemia November '02, managed to store sperm pre-treatment (alot too as his counts were varied and we wanted to keep the best of the bunch, but they let us keep all in the end!) we were advised to apply for IVF asap, even though we would have to wait until after his bone marrow transplant. We did ask our consultant if we could hold intense chemo while we tried naturally, but, we were advised against it due to the fact that he had then been taking oral chemo, and had no guarantees over the sperm quality/normality.  

We decided we didn't want to waste the frozen sperm (DH had Total Body Irradiation so Zero chance of sperm ever returning) in IUI, and were in a financial situation to find the money,  so went straight for ICSI, that was March '04 private, had BFP, but miscarried at 10 weeks, we then went to start again July '04 and had borrowed money from family, only to find we were at the top of the NHS list so this cycle was fully funded!  and glad to say had another BFP!

I just wanted to say, YES these things do take time, all i would advise to anyone in a cancer situation is get yourself on the list and in the system, even before you are wanting IVF, you can always hold them up, but it's not so easy to rush them! - get the ball in your court!  

I know from personal experience, how hard it can be to be a carer, for a cancer patient. we certainly do not deserve this fight, when we are already weakend from our biggest fight ever!

Good luck to all

Love Nicki
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Ahww Nicky thanx for your post.
I know what you mean about the constant fighting.
Hope you and your dh are ok and feeling a bit more positive now.
So glad your treatment worked.
We are having iui privately funded at the moment and will probably be going for ivf but i suppose we should get our name sdown for ivf on nhs, problem is we are both very young and dr's expect dh's sperm to come back as he had bep chemo after having testicle removed and cancer spread controlled and then cleared.
So i'm unsure of wether we would eveen get on a list.

Let me know how you're getting along
Take care
Luv Ju
 

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hi Sicknote
My eldest brother also had testicular cancer, he was 24 years old in 1990.
He banked some sperm before he started his chemo.
He had the usual checks over the years and was always told the chemo would more than likely make him sterile.
He met his wife in 1994, and married in 1998 and they decided to start a family straight away, and looked into ivf immediately as they always assumed they'd have to go that route.
Their Consultant asked for some semen samples to check the condition of his sperm and he was gobsmacked to find he had some active sperm, although the motility was slow.
My sister in law was then diagnnosed with some pre-cancerous cells through a routine smear result, and had laser surgery.
So, they resigned themselves to the ivf journey and decided to go on their 2nd honeymoon and think about it all afterwards.
His father-in-law sadly died 4 days into their holiday and they returned home, and 2 days after the funeral his wife got a bfp!
Miracles can happen, as my now 4 and a half year old nephew will prove.
Don't ever give up hope honey!
Ironically now, they may need to use some of his banked sperm as they have been ttc thier 2nd child for 2 years now, and his sperm has very, very slow motility, and my sister in law also suffers with endo....but at least they have that option...and the hope they may strike it lucky twice.
I wish you both all the very best of luck
much love
Gaynor
XX
 

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Hi Kate/sicknote

After reading Shannon's post, i remembered, i once asked my GP to fund the drugs (before we knew about the NHS cycle) and she said no she couldn't but, we could look at between us (us being, us and GP) applying for special circumstances.
It's really hard to tell because alot of it goes on your post code and each area is so different, it really is so unfair!

Love Nicki x x
 

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My DH was diagnosed with testicular cancer a year ago last April (so April 2003) and reading these messages we are all going through the same feelings, it's good to have somewhere that people know how you're feeling.

None of us have asked for this, we have all fought once with cancer, and now we are all fighting for fertility, which makes it even harder to cope with

All my love
MrsF
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Just a quickie to tell you all that Mr and Mrs Sicknote's picture is in the gallery under last uploads in the new members section.
DH still had his hair then so he looks a little different and i'm sure with all of this worrying my hair is going grey!!!!!

Would be fantastic if we could arrange a meet up for everyone in our situation, where does everyone live??
Luv Sicknote

P.s. if any one wants to IM me then im at [email protected]
TTFN
 

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Hi to all the other cancer-survivors partners,

Do you think we would all benefit from a seperate thread on FF where we can chat?

I would love to know if anyone has been able to find good resources for their partners (any support groups) and how your men are coping with the double whammy of cancer and infertility.

With love from,
 

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Hiya girls

I hope that u dont mind me butting in here

I cant begin to imagine how things are for you all as am not in ur situation.

just wanted to say i wish u all lots of luck on ur if journeys

sending  ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ to you all.

Some thing i would say is that mel and tony are very approachable, i am sure that if someone contacted them about their suggestion about a board for cancer survivors partners ttc then they will accomodate you alll they can.

I remember a few weeks ago someone posted about there not being a fibriod board and voila mel and tony worked on getting a board for fibroids.

Mel and tony are very approachable, altho there may be a bit of a delay atm as they are probably very busy with Jessicas christening on sunday (their DD)

Best of luck to u all

Emilyxx

PS Shannon looking forward to meeting u on satuday!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Great idea Flopsy for the seperate thread, because our fertility problems are mainly because of the cancer i feel a little out of place on some of the other threads.

Eeyore thanks for the tip about Mel and Tony i sent Mel an e mail, suggesting it and saying that we're not in a hurry because we know that they're busy, hopefully they will consider it.

You can add dates to the calender and i wondered if it would be worth putting a time and date on there and we could all meet in the chat room one night for a good gossip, what does everybody else think??

I have also asked Laine how to go about arranging a meet up for all of us who have had cancer touch our lives and i'm hoping for a reply soon.
I would love to hear everyones opinions.
Luv Ju
 

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Hi Ju, Shannon and Emily,

Thanks for the replies and ideas!

I've started a temp thread under "Male Factor" and if successful I am happy to ask for something more permanent when the Christening is over.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,15553.0.html

Also very happy to meet up and chat.

With love and babydust from,
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Flopsy  -  We all have our own place now in the diagnosis section.
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO TONY
hope to see you all there spread the word.....
 
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