Hi there, thought I'd like to join you. Colly I'm at a similar stage to you. I started stim on 31st Dec & my day 8 scan on friday also showed 5 follies. we went through our first DIVF in Sept & I had 5 then too, had 2 eggs put back but got a BFN. My DP has azoospermia & I just have low ovarian reserve so I'm on the highest gonal F dose (450). My EC will probably be Wed too, fingers crossed.
Jayne- many thanks for sharing your experiences, I'm sure I'll have lots of questions as time goes on, but just focussing on the moment.
We had choice of 2 donors last time, both a match for my blood type & were just given hair, eye colour, height & build. One was completely unsuitable as nothing matched my DP, so we went with the other. DP was not too happy, but we went ahead. Unfortunately our donor acheived 10 pregs just before our 2nd cycle, but fortunately we'd reserved 6 tubes (not sure what they're called) & we used 2 in the previous try, so they had to find us some more. We were not given any choice as supplies are so depleted. But the donor is match for my blood type, DP's height, & hair & build so he's much happier. According to my clinic there is now a waiting list for sperm as donors are in such short supply & donors are reaching their target of 10 pregs much more quickly. This will only get worse after April so if you are lucky enough to find a donor, make sure you get a few samples.
Good luck to everyone, I hope I get to know you all a bit better.
I went for my last scan yesterday and they found six follies with two being much bigger than the rest (25 and 22mm and the rest 11 -17mm). They were not sure if I was ready but I got a call yesterday afternoon to say I could go for EC on Tuesday. I have been warned that I may only get two eggs but hopefully there will be some in the smaller ones. Whenever I've been for a scan, the number of follies on each side has changed so I don't think they know exactly what is in there. I've been on on three amps of menopur throughout.
I'm hoping for enough eggs to get two good embryos to put back in on Thursday (which happens to be my birthday).
I'm off work from today untill I know the outcome of the treatment. I teach in a secondary school and I can't be doing with the stress at the moment.
Jayne - You are one day behind me at the moment. Good luck. I hope you all goes well for you at EC.
Best of luck to everyone else.
love Colly x
As Wolla has already said, best of luck girls for EC this week.
We had our donor counselling today, which was quite helpful and has put some niggling doubts to rest. Have follow up appt tomorrow to see whether they have a match. Sounds as though supplies are dwindling before our very eyes. Hope and pray that they can get us a match if we need it.
In answer to your question as to why we changed our mind to go for an annonmous donor was because we realised that it didn't matter, at the end of the day we would get a baby that would take our moral values and views on life because we would raise them to do so. Its simple when you think of it in those terms, it just doesn't matter to us anymore. it took a bit of time for us to get our head round but now we are here we realise that we can shape the mind of our little one to have the same beliefs as us, i.e to be respectable citizens and not drug dealing theiving criminals!!!
I am counting the days till feb 8th when we can see the consultant and get on with it. How's everything with you?
Colly good luck for Tuesday. Last time I had 5 follies of different sizes & all had eggs & we got 2 embies. . My scan today showed 4 16mms & 1 smaller so they've advised I go on Thursday . I'm undecided about work though . I'm off Thursday, Friday & Monday, then back at work as normal. Not sure if I should be off or whether the time goes quicker if you're working??
My DP had a scan today which is a little worrying . He has azoospermia, high FSH, & low testerone. We got a second opinion privately & they confirmed no , but said low testosterone can be a problem later & that in terms of fertility he 's like a 70yr old & may have to take supplements later. He also has a small cyst on one testicle, which they were rescanning today (last scan 6mth ago) to see if it's any bigger. Just feeling a little & wondered if others have had any similar worries?
Just a quickie. Sorry for the long absence, I've been conferencing!
Got an appointment with the clinic on Wednesday so we should find out more about what sort of donation we have to have then.
I honestly don't mind, what I just cant bear anymore is the waiting so on that front please dont let it be donor eggs with a terminally long wait! (Donor eggs ready tomorrow would be fine though!!)
We definitely want it to be all anonymous though - it has to be our baby, not 'part' of someone we know. I couldn't spend my life watching for someone else's know traits to appear. Just and opinion.
Lizi and Hobbs, your reasons for using anonymous donor make perfect sense. I think I should get rid of this niggling doubt and forget about asking DF's brother. His wife is pg and I guess it could cause huge issues if anything went wrong and I was also pg and things went more smoothly.. or any number of other scenarios! You're right, Lizi, it would mean that nobody else had a 'claim' on our baby.
Good luck for your scan, Colly. Sorry to hear you have other worries, Jayne2. I hope you get some reassurance/info from the docs soon.
Wolla, I'm so sorry to hear about DH's biopsy... even if you think you're prepared for it, you wouldn't be going through it unless you hoped it would be a success, so obviously it's a huge disappointment. I'm expecting the same next week, I know how negative I sound but realistically, the signs aren't good. I totally understand you feeling like you've put DH through a lot just so you don't have 'what if?' haunting you. We're doing the same - luckily DF doesn't see it as a huge deal and is prepared to do it... I should be telling him how wonderful he is for that, but I seem a bit caught up in my private 'OMG I feel sick with worry' thoughts right now! If SSR is unsuccessful I'm torn between wanting to take time out and concentrate on our wedding and having to get on with it because of the shortage of donors. Life isn't easy huh?
The thought of picking out a donor.. it does make you think of a pair of shoes, yet you don't have to love those shoes unconditionally for the rest of your life! What a huge decision... mind you I get the heebie-jeebies every time I book flights and I'm undecided which to take - I always get visions of people saying 'It's so tragic that her plane crashed, she so very nearly booked a different flight'! I find myself looking at the kids at school and imagining how I'd feel if I were their mother... it's kind of reassuring, there are a few who only a mother could love but on the whole there's something to love about each and every one of them, when you get to know them!
Oh I have to dash, lots of love to you all
I went for EC yesterday and got 5 eggs which I was very pleased about. I rang this morning and they said that all of them had been mature and 4 had fertilised. I go for ET tomorrow.
Jayne - I am sorry you are feeling worried. My DH has low testosterone and has been having testosterone supplements for about a year (prescribed by our gp). He used to have injections but now has a gel that he puts on every morning. The main reason he uses this is to help with his bone density which is on the low side He thinks the supplements make him feel better generally.
I hope things go well with your ec on thursday.
love Colly x
Colly - well done on your 5 eggs that's great news.
Jayne - I'm sure your DF knows how much you appreciate what he's doing, and it's great that he's not overly worried about it - as long as you're there for each other, you'll be just fine.
Life isn't easy - but I was talking to a girl friend the other night about the whole baby thing, and while we were chatting I realised that for 30 years I've had a problem free life - no health worries, no family traumas/tragedies, no money worries - and if this is the worst that life can throw at me then maybe I'm one of the lucky ones. Anyway, this is what I'm going to tell myself from now on whenever I'm feeling a bit down.
I've just been reading your messages with interest. I'm hopefully going for DIUI this weekend if everything is OK with my scan Friday. Had scan today but lining isn't thick enough. What is everyone else's experience with donor sperm and how much you are told about it just before IUI? We're being told we maybe having IUI Friday/Saturday and that a donor should be ready but will they get me lying on my back legs a straddle before they tell me what charateristics they have matched?
Hobbs, I think we've chatted before but at the time you were looking at known donors. My DH wants to feel so much part of a child's life I think knowing the donor would be difficult. We were advised to look to New England Cryogenic Centre for donors incase there are none available to us here. At the moment it's not something we have looked in to further than checking out the website but it's an option.
Colly, great news on your eggs. All the best for tomorrow.
Jayne2, my DH has complete azoospermia. It took him 6 months to come to terms with it and we've even told our parents now. It's very hard keeping all our plans secret when we all live so close and we have to leave work and take days off so often. I also work for my brother but he just thinks we're using DH sperm.
All the best to everyone.
Well we had the hospital appointment and now its all getting rather real!
It seems they are more convinced than ever that it is a issue and have advised us to go half ICSI half DIVF for the next cycle.
Counseling is obligatory at this clinic and the counselor has to give the go-ahead for us to proceed, so now we sit on another waiting list......at least it's free (the counseling not the treatment)
We had pretty much decided that was what was going to happen before we went in there so I thought we were OK with it. Infact in the car on the way down we had both said we wouldn't ask for counseling as we felt we were OK with the whole thing, but now the decision has actually been made I feel all scarey.
Wolla - that's exactly the way I see it too. (its pretty much a mantra in our house!)
Colly - that's great news.
Caroline - I think you are probably right, but do take time to think it through. (Of course BIL may feel different about it now he is going to be a parent).
By the way, for everybodies information I asked about whether our clinic would have a shortage of donors after April and our consultant said there wasn't a problem with that and that any donors who had started before April could carry on 'til 2006 anyway.
Got to go and cook tea - I've just realised I'm starving!!
We've also been open about telling family, though it's very difficult. My DP's mother also approached his brother who lives in Australia & he felt he couldn't donate for us & told us through email & implied that we hadn't thought about all the implications (which of course we had!!) We've since been to visit & been able to talk it through & had already decided to use donor sperm before he declined.
Do any of your partners with azoospermia talk in the men's room as my DP has really no other men to talk to about his feelings & I wonder if it would help??
I'm off for EC 2moro so must go get some sleep.... sweet dreams
Just trying to catch up since Jayne established this new home! Want to be sure to give all my BEST wishes to you all...whatever stage you are at!
I am set to begin puregon injections this Fri. 14th.....vaginal ultrasound set for the morning of Wed. 19th....will see what those follies look like and if all goes similiar to last attempt....we should be set to try our 5th donor sperm IUI attempt around the 21st or so. My DH has azoospermia.....and as I have indicated on previous postings....it took about a year for him to "get on board " with the concept of using donor sperm (lots of counselling with the psychologist at the Fertility Centre!!).
I don't know if you can ever expect 100% from DHs when it comes to "I am for the Donor Sperm treatment option"....heck, I don't even hang at 100%....it is the kind of treatment step that I think at its best acheives maybe 75% to 80% sense of "this is the right choice for us"....and this wavers depending on time of month, hormones, stress, external life difficulties, wavering sense of self-confidence etc. etc........ It's a very , VERY emotional time and commands MANY mixed feelings.
We did entertain known donor sperm from DH's brother- who said he could not go through with it. We completely accepted this response with understanding and respect....I even think I felt some element of relief. I always worried about having "leans" on our child with a known donor. Unknown donor option was meant to be for us, I believe. Though I think this was a bigger disappointment for DH's mother than for us. ANyway, after "the bridge had been crossed" regarding his brother, my DH (as well as, his mother) seemed even MORE confident about pursuing unknown DIUI! It turned out to be a necessary and positive emotional task to ask his brother!
I am thankful that we decided to tell all 4 parents right away about DH's azoospermia (of course, that was mainly driven by me- and definitely wasn't my DH's natural inclination at the time of diagnosis!!)....it was EXTREMELY hard, but has helped in having others to privately grieve with (especially my DH....who would been more apt to "close up"). We also decided to tell a selective few friends......and eventually, our siblings. We figure that this "safe circle" will also bring our child safe support when it comes time that they feel they need to understand more about their conception. Confidentiality is OF COURSE, emphasized!!! These friends and family will surely make an impression on the child about how much love we put into this difficult period. And as I said before- counselling was paramount for us!! My DH attended some sessions....but I also went myself sometimes.
I have recently been encouraging my DH to connect with FF and the Men's Room as you so thoughtfully suggest, Jayne2! He is in the pre-contemplation stage....still saying he is not ready to do that. Our communication between the 2 of us has DEFINITELY improved over the last 2 years (and it isn't alwasy a smoothe process....but way more advanced than ever before!!)....and I am grateful to know that there are friends and family out there for him to reach out to- if needed. While DH's father has known that DH has azoospermia....he has not known about our plans for treatment using DIUI....so it is UNBELIEVABLE that after 4 attempts already....we are only having this BIG talk THIS coming Fri. 14th!!!!! DH's mother and siblings have known about our past treatment ....and it only makes sense that DH's father been included in that knowledge. DH's mother asked us to make this more clear so that "when" (her approach is "when"....not "if") DIUI is successful, DH's father is prepared. It totally makes sense....my DH's has just been understandably reluctant to share this sensitive aspect of our fertility treatment.....but knows "it is time". I always see my DH with a little less weight on his shoulder when he reaches out...so I can only hope for the same this Fri. Of course, for everyone that is outside of our safe circle....we give them a "speal"....most friends know that we are embarking on IUI....but of course, assume it is DH's sperm.
ANyway, perhaps my DH will check out the Men's Room at some point.....so far, my DH has never read any of the books I find so helpful on the topic of donor sperm...I guess, it is just a little too much for his vulnerability and emotional "mixed feelings". He is able to say with confidence that "everything will be OK when a baby is in his arms"....but in the meantime, it is a crazy-making period.
Colly- I am interested in knowing moe about this "gel" your DH uses. This was proposed to my DH too...as he has low testosterone..though he decided against. What problems were reviewed with you exactly? We are aware that low testosterone has connections to depresison and my DH's was being treated for thsi prior to diagnosis of azzospermia and low testosterone. The biggest "symptom" I see in my DH....is a decreased libido or sex drive. Of course- God knows- there has been enough emotional difficulties to also impact our sexual intimacy, too. ANyone esle having this experience in their relationship?
ANyway...I have to run off!!! So much appreciate all the support, reassurances, and cheering on through this thread! It is medicine to my soul!
Colly - good luck for ET today! Are you having 2 embies transferred?
Wolla, you're absolutely right about counting your blessings, it's something I try to remember to do. It's funny, my marriage broke up when DD was 16 months old and I felt a certain stigma about being a single mother and wondered whether someone would 'take us on'. This didn't turn out to be a problem but I always felt grateful to DF and that I was slightly the 'underdog' in the relationship because he could have found someone with no kids. DF's azoospermia just totally got rid of that feeling, instead I felt that I was reciprocating his sticking with me through the tough times (DD had a very hard time accepting our 'team' being infiltrated) and, more importantly, it has made me see DD as a blessing and miracle to both of us (rather than just to me). So I know that I should NEVER feel sorry for myself.. and mostly I'm ok at this! At the very least, we all should be grateful that we have DPs/DHs who are worth sticking with and who are valuing the goal of creating a family... a lot of people have far less than this.
Katie, good luck for your scan tomorrow! I hope you get some info about donors asap.
Jayne 2, DF hasn't been on FF at all, I think he's slightly bemused by me telling him about Nat's DH having SSR, Mae's past (and job) being similar to mine, Hobbs deciding against a known donor etc! I just find it totally amazing to be able to 'talk' to people who are going through the same thoughts and issues.
Gwendolyn, soooo hoping that this cycle will be The One. I found your comments about nobody really being 100% about DI hugely reassuring, as I do get a bit wobbly at the thought of ever thinking 'OMG what have I done?'... 'the thought of thinking..' I think the problem could be too much thinking for me!
Sweetcaroline - I tried to share my 'positive thinking' spiel with dh last night, and it really highlighted how all this is effecting him cos he just looked at me and said 'but it feels like the end of the world'. He's normally quite positive, but this has really shaken him up. Like your DF though, he's never been on FF - I never really talk to him about FF, cos I think he'd think it was a bit odd for me to be essentially chatting to a computer (techonology's not really his thing!)
Gwendoline - I echo sweetcaroline's reassurance at not feeling 100% about DI. I'm mostly ok with it, but DH is a bit wobbly at times with the idea. He knows (like your dh) that once he holds the baby, there will be know doubt in his mind that it's his baby and that he will love it unconditionally, but at the same time he's scared of his feelings when (not if ) I get pregnant. He only told me this last night, and I'm glad he felt he could share these feelings with me - I am very relieved to read that other people on here (and their dh's) share these doubts and worries. He also told me though, that he definitely wants to go ahead with it, and he knows that we're destined to have a baby and if this is the only way it will happen then we've got to do it.
Jih - hope your egg collection went well today - keep us updated.
Lizibee - do you know how long you'll have to wait for councelling, and when you'll be able to start treatment? Good news about there not being a shortage of donors.
Katie Maria - good luck with your scan tomorrow and hope your diui goes ahead as planned this weekend.
Just a quick one to say I had ET yesterday. They put two embryos back and hope to freeze one of the others. It was amazing seeing them on the screen. I test on 29th Jan. Best wishes to everyone.
love Colly x
What a shame our men are not able to get as much support from this site as we do . We've told family, which was difficult but good to do. The problem is the male members don't really know what to say. My DP's father's response was a sort of 'oh well never mind'. DP said it was as if he was a little boy who'd fallen off his bike & grazed his knee! So Gwendolyn, i hope you get agood response at your family meeting today. We told all 6 parents (DP's have both remarried) last time we did the IVF cycle, this time we've not told anyone except one female friend, & my boss at work. Partly cos it's hard for them & hard for us, so we decided it was easier to wait & see what happens.
Gwendoline- my DP has azoospermia & low testosterone, and low libido, he just doesn't really think about sex at all, but more than happy to oblige if I initiate. We've talked a lot about it & my frustrations , but he still forgets.
Sweetcaroline Thanks so much for all your positive thoughts, I really enjoyed reading your mailings.
Colly- I'd also be interested in the gel you mentioned & have men tried zinc? Well done on your 2 embies &
I went for EC yesterday, which was much more painful than I remembered from last time. They found 9 follies (only 5 had showed onthe clinic scan) & got 4 eggs. One was over & 1 undercooked so we have 2 embies, just have to hope they divide..... due for ET 2moro fingers crossed.