[Jayne]

Cyclers

Alex28 - Clomid then DIUI

Carenb - Clomid then DIUI

Hobbs - Clomid then DIUI (trial month now and then real thing!)

Natalie34 - DIUI

2ww - Good luck!

Ralphy - DIUI - Testing 8 March

Eileenh - DIUI - Testing 1 April

In between treatment

Ali - Appointment to discuss DIVF 6 June

BethB - DIUI

Blueeyes - Awaiting dh's SSR

CharlieL - DIUI

Colly - DIVF April

Fizz - Considering DIUI. Clinic appointment in March.

Gwendolyn - DIVF in April

Herbaltea - Awaiting HSG then DIUI

jih - DIVF

Julesforgirls - DIUI

Katie Maria - DIUI

KLT - DIUI

LiziBee - 1/2 ICSI & 1/2 D-IVF hoping to cycle in May

Marielou - DIUI April

Nismat - DIUI

Mossie - DIVF

rsmit02 - DIUI - Waiting for AF

Sinbad - DIVF in April

Sinny - DIUI

Struthie - Consultant appointment on 30 March to discuss treatment. Most likely ICSI.

Sweetcaroline - DIUI April

Wolla - Awaiting DIUI - pre-conceptual care appt April '05 & 'top of the list' appt June 05

Precious Cargo On Board

Josie - DIUI - EDD 13/10/05

Clare - DIUI - EDD 01/12/05

Trixie - DI - EDD ?

Our Miracle is Here

Ali - Proud mummy to Cameron (DIVF)
Jayne - Proud mummy to Jack and Ben (DIUI)
JulesUK- Proud mummy to Katelyn (DI)
Sweetcaroline - Proud mummy to Sophie (natural miracle)
Tracey - Proud mummy to Maxwell (DIVF)

Please let me have any additions/amendments to the above list

---------------------------

Trixie - Really pleased for you Please could you let me have your EDD when you know it, so I can add to the list

Nat - Good luck with the Pregnyl shot tomorrow. It's fine honest I didn't find it stingy at all. Good luck!

Hobbs - Fab news about your progesterone

Love and babydust to you all.

Jayne x

 

[Clare the minx]

Not posted for a while so been trying to catch up!Me and DP have decided not to tell baby about using Donor and I really do think it's totally up to the couple involved. Our reason is not because we're embarrassed or ashamed it's just that only my parents and brother know how I've got pregnant and DP's family can be very funny at the best of time so we don't want to subject our child to any criticism from his family.

His family are very ignorant when it comes to fertility and we both know that they would not accept baby if they knew it wasen't biologically DP's!Quick question whilst in first couple of weeks of pregnancy did anyone else suffer with in frequent dizzy/light-headed spells? as I get them some times.

Good luck to everyone and I hope this works for you all,

Love Clare xxx

P.S have also decided that once baby arrives(provided all goes well!) and hospital say its okay I'm going to donate eggs as I'd like to help other couples going through fertility problems if possible.

 

[Jayne]

Hi Clare

I can't say I agree with your decision to not be truthful with your child - despite your reasoning - but I do respect your choice, and that you have the right to do what you feel is best for your baby.  I was the same when pg with Jack, but did change my mind once he was born and I realised I couldn't lie to him no matter what. Who knows, maybe you will feel the same, but whatever you do, I agree it's up to you. 

I never had dizzy/light headed spells whilst pg, but they could be blood pressure related.  Might be worth having a word with your GP, and also posting on the bun in the oven thread to see if any other ladies have experienced similar, so you can be reassured. 

Good luck

Love

Jayne x

 

[alex28]

Hi Clare

I agree with Jayne, we decided we would not tell to start with but its actually from reading Jayne's posts and looking on www.dcnetwork.org.uk that we decided that when the time comes we would tell the child but agree its your decision to make.

Im with you on the egg donation side of things.  Will def give my eggs once we get pg and have child, a few years down the line yet i know but the new laws would not stop me doing this.

We have told DH family the whole truth but funnily enough not my side of the fam.  I am not that close to my mum and she does not have much interest in my life which makes me feel that she does not deserve to know the truth - sounds terrible i know.  I just have not got around to telling my dad at the moment, he knows we are seeing the doctor and are on tablets but nothing else yet.  I think when we are pg we will tell them the truth.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. xx

 

[Jayne]

Alex, we didn't tell dh's family until Jack was almost 1.  They'd gotten to know him then and all was fine    Think it might have been different if we'd said anything before he was born, but it was by chance really that we didn't because at this time we weren't going to tell, so this is why they didn't know.  My family and some close friends did know though, so I suppose we couldn't really have kept it a secret forever anyway. 

I'm an only child and my father has one sister and my mum is has 6 siblings.  Neither my father, my aunt and uncle (who have no children), or any of my mum's brothers or sisters or their children - so bascially none of my extended family including my father - know the way Jack and Ben were conceived and I don't have plans to divulge the information.  We're not close by any means, and I don't feel it's any of their business.  If Jack and Ben decide to say when they're older then so be it.  But we don't plan on telling anyone else, we're going to let the boys decide who they want to know, and maybe that will be nobody. 

For us, so long as our children know the truth, then it doesn't matter to us who else does or doesn't know.  It's not their entitlement to have the information as far as we're concerned, it's Jack and Ben's right to choose who they want to tell.  If anybody finds out for whatever reason in the meantime, then so be it, we will just say what happened - it's not a secret, we just don't tell everybody as a matter of course, because it's private to our family. 

Love

Jayne x

 

[Marielou]

Claire - We've also made the decision not to tell, and I fully support you in your decision.  I agree its a very personnal issue, and one that is different for everyone - what is right for Jayne or Alex, may not be right for me or you.   
I don't really like to get into discussions about the tell/not tell debate, as I've been told before by someone on this site (noone on this thread, I'm pleased to say!) that I'll be an awful parent, that I'm lying, that I don't deserve a child  which is all just nasty, and personally, I think if someone feels that way, I'm happy not to speak to them again. 
I've looked on thedcnetwork, and I actually find them very pushy and will only see 1 point of view - I hate pushiness, so I've only been to that website once.  I just felt they were very close-minded. 

I got the dizzy speall when I was 5-6 weeks pregnant as well 

Well done you for thinking of donating - I'm thinking abot doing it as well once I've had a child. 

I'll get off my soap-box now 
Just waiting for AF to show sometime this weekend, and then DIUI will be in around 3 weeks time! 

Marie xx

 

[eileenh]

for me I'm afraid.  Tested on Saturday but DP's bro was here for weekend so didn't get a chance to get on computer.  Probably just as well as I would have been really depressing.  Really thought it had worked this time - massive self-delusion going on on 2ww - verging on temporary madness - had visions of myself with new baby this Xmas.  Not to be tho.  Really not sure what I am going to do.  Have been really horrible to DP all weekend.

Eileen

 

[Jayne]

Oh Eileen I'm so very sorry

Love

Jayne x

 

[Jayne]

Marie - Again, I would say the same to you as I do to Clare, that I don't agree for a second with you not being honest with any child(ren) you WILL have, but I do respect your right to make that choice.

As you say, these sorts of debates can get complicated and difficult, and I don't really like to get into them either - I'm not much of the debating sort over the internet! Person to person, yes, but on the internet - hmmmmmmm. It's difficult when you can't hear the other person's tone, or see facial expressions, etc. and smileys don't always cut it!

At the end of the day though, we all need to do what we feel is best for our family, and whatever choice we make, those that choose the opposite will most likely not agree with ours, and see flaws in our plans, etc. But that's the way life is, and so long as we are comfortable with our decisions, and consequences that those decisions may bring - and that falls on both the telling and not telling sides of the argument - then I guess that's what counts.

I hope your dreams come true Marie

Love

Jayne x

 

[Clare the minx]

Thanks Marie-lou for the support I really do appreciate it   .I don't think not telling a child will make anyone bad parents and it really is a decision that is up to the parents as there the ones who'll be bringing up their child. I feel that everyone does what they believe is right for their child in their hearts and in that case whether you tell or not tell is right for that couple as we are all different.

It would be a boring life if we were all the same!No-one person should be allowed to dictate to others though what is the right or wrong decision for them, they should be informed of all the choices and then left to make the right decision for them. No-one should ever be told that they don't deserve a child as that is just so vindictive and it makes you feel so low .We put ourselves through enough as it is and to have someone say that knowing what we all are going through is really nasty and they haven't got a very nice heart in my opinion. I wish everyone on FF will get there own BFP as we all deserve it.

Lots of love Clare xxx

Thanks for the reply and the info on dizzy spells I now feel like I'm not the only one!And I know that we're not bad people for our decision and I won't let anyone try to make me feel like I am.

 

[Jayne]

Sorry, if this causes a problem, but I need to just touch on the issue of 'support' here.  Can I be clear, that I'm not saying I don't 'support' your choices to not tell.  I just don't agree.  That's very different.  I do support your choice and would help as much as I could with any difficulties, etc. you may have. 

Tracey - Lots of people say that Jack and Ben look like their daddy too    And I agree with your dh that it is your business.  My dh and I feel the same too.  But we also feel it's our child's business to know the truth also. 

As I say, I disagree, but I do support and respect a different choice, and we could all argue back and forth forever on what the right/wrong way is to go - and we all know there is no right or wrong way, it's just what's right for us as individual families. 

Love

Jayne x

 

[natalie34]

Eileen - just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear your news. Some  coming your way.

Nat xx

 

[natalie34]

Hi All,

Well have had my final scan and all is well for the trigger injection tonight at 11.30pm and DIUI at 11.30am on Wednesday.

I have one very large follie (24mm) and 3 decent sizes ones (17mm). We have decided not to get some of them popped and wait and see what happens. A bit controversial I know but our Clinic offers this service and after discussions with DH and all our ups and downs over the past 12 months, we have decided to wait and see what happens with the 4 follies.

Love to everyone as always,

Nat xx

 

[wolla]

Eileen - so sorry for your BFN.  It's surely not madness to be positive on your 2ww though - better than spending 2 weeks getting yourself down and telling yourself it's not going to work (although maybe a bigger fall when you get your BFN).  I'm sure DH understands why you were mean to him at the weekend.  They do take some cr*p from us don't they.  Anyway, big hugs and best of luck for next cycle.

Nat - well done on your follies, and good luck for Wednesday

Clare - we've also decided not to tell.  It didn't even occur to me to tell until I read the dcnetwork site which, I agree with Marie is very one sided and closed to any other opinion.  Dh definitely doesn't want to tell, and I respect that decision. 

 

[Marielou]

Eileen - I am so very sorry to hear about the BFN


Nats - Fab news on your 4 follies!  My Dr. spoke to me about having 4 follies - as I overstimmed on injectables, he said there is a chance if we do them, I'll get a good response.  We all agredd we would still do DIUI with 4 follicles.  The chances of all 4 taking are very minimal, but you have a good chance of simgleton/twins, which is great!    When I told my Dr. we wanted to try clomid next cycle, he said 'Oh, that does mean you're not likely to get triplets - is that ok?'    I'd be ok with 1, 2 or 3! (well, I'd be very scared with 3, but 1 or 2 would be a blessing after trying for so long)  Good luck for wednesday 

Marie xx

 

[alex28]

Im so sorry it did not work for you this month Eileen.

Will you try again or have you decided to wait?  Whatever we wilkl be here to support you.

Nat - great news on your follies.  Good luck for basting on Weds.  You will be about 3 days ahead of me so at least we have someone to go thru the 2ww with!

Clare - i echo Jaynes sentiments entirely we are all here to support each other regardless.  I post on another website and whilst i get lots of support from them its mainly relating to IVF and ICSI and no-one is using donor sperm so i feel a bit left out on that side of things which is why im glad i found you guys!

BIG GROUP HUG EVERYONE!!! 

 

[Jayne]

Nat

Excellent news on the follies.  Think I'd do the same in your position and go with the follies you have and see where it takes you.  Good luck for Wednesday.  Fingers crossed this is the one! 

Love

Jayne x 

 

[Josiex]

Hello there,

Well, it's a while since I posted and things are still good. Had nuchal scan last week which was exciting.  Felt so much better about the pg once I'd seen little hands and feet - brought a lump to both our throats.  Made me realise that this is our baby, however we made it.

Sorry to hear about your BFN, Elaine.  I agree with everyone that you're right to be positive during a 2WW though.

It's been interesting reading posts about telling or not.  I have to say, one of the best things about this site is that there is support for folks like us coping with all the implications of donor conception, without it being all about the to tell or not to tell thing. Personally, we plan to tell, but I think the issues I'm facing now have nothing to do with that and whatever your position on telling, you need support with these. 

In its defence, that main stated aim of the DC network is to support people in being open about DC.  I'd like there to be another organisation that is a little more focussed on a balance of issues.  I know I haven't wanted to be involved with the DC network, and indeed felt antagonistic towards them when I was panicking about supply of donors after the change in the law.  I also feel that our clinic pushed their literature a little too much, and certainly, I wept buckets in the carpark when given a copy of a letter from an obviously confused young man conceived by DI.  I think counselling is when these issues shoul be addressed, not during treatment itself.  Alex would know what I meant when I said it was Mrs Sensitivity who gave me the stuff!

Um - hope I haven't been unfair.  I would love to hear from anyone who has received practical support from the DC network and I guess that there are things that people with older children would know and understand that folks less far along the journey might not.  Can I just say, Jayne, that your practical support is exactly the sort of thing I mean.

Oh and, Natalie, what a great thing to do a radio interview.  It made me quite cross on the 1st April when there was a one liner on the news about the changes in the law. I know there aren't many people really in our position, but it is a big deal and deserved a bit more than that.

Oh - this has turned into a long post and all I wanted to do was say hello!

Hope you had a lovely wedding, Caroline

Congratulations, Trixie  - and I think your partner's response is completely normal. It all hit me a couple of weeks after our BFP - I think because we had time to think about it all and not on the mechanics of treatment.  I think it takes time to be real and at the moment, you don't have a concrete image of a baby.  Don't worry if the 7 week scan feels funny - it wasn't until the scan we had last week that I started to feel a connection with the fact it was our baby.

Really going now - good luck to everyone having treatment or wherever you are on this journey.
Josie xx

 

[Jayne]

Hi Josie

Lovely to hear that all went well with your nuchal scan and that the experience helped put you further at ease, and make the connections with the baby being yours and dh's - which of course (s)he is   

Love

Jayne x

 

[Clare the minx]

Theres a program on channel 4 on Thursday at 9p.m and it's called Life Before Birth. It's about baby developing inside you and shows you how baby develops and I wanted to know how many other people are going to watch it as I know I am.I just think it'll be so interesting to actually be able to see how baby does develop inside of us though the programme is on for two hours!

It's suppose to show you footage of baby developing from cell to foetus etc!!! How amazing is that. I tried to explain to DP that at first baby is a bunch of cells which develop and grow from there and he kind of looked at me like !

Lots of love Clare xx