so sorry to hear about your negs jaq and welshy - huge cyber hugs to you both, hope the sun shines again for you both soon.
sarah sorry to hear about your dh - hope nice gives you the break you need and things are a bit more rosy on your return.
dizzy - thinking of you and hoping you are okay.
i havnt been posting much as i have been busy with xmas pressies and thinking about stuff. lee and i have come to the decision to finish ivf...at the start i thought i could just keep going and going but i seriously under estimated the emotional battering. i dont feel i can carry on this road but i feel happy that the decision has been made.(it made itself really!) i dont know how you girls do it...you must have some serious strength to carry on and i take my hat off to you all. i think it has all hit home with lee now as he will not have his biological child and he seems a bit down for the first time since it all started(not that he ever says much) but has agrd to carry on being wonderful and supportive as usual. i feel really sad for him as i know what he is going through and that he is choosing this road for me.
so! ...... we have booked an appointment to go to an adoption open evening on 14th march with a view to the first home visit in may. and i am sooooo excited about it and cant wait to go. im sure that this is not the end of the stress by a long shot but still i am happy....what is meant to be - is meant to be. maybe we were supposed to adopt and there is a baby out there who was meant to be with us. this is the way i like to see things and i am more hopeful now of being a mummy someday.
Tracey - your post made me cry so sad but so happy and positive , I never think of myself as strong , the discription you gave me about fert tx takeing over your personality is so true for me too , we tried not to talk about it much on our hols , but its there all the time , I looked at all the other couples we met and wonderd what it must feel like to be them ( most of them had grown up kids and some even grandchildren at our ages ) really getting excited about christmas. but I'm booting out 2004 and whatever path we take in 2005 "I WILL BE A MUM ", have my review on the 11th jan with mr atkins, also going on the 3 day course for adoption end of jan/feb, lets hope its a better year for us all , we've had the practise runs ,now lets just get on with it
your all very quiet on here these days , take care of yourselves lots of love
Tracey - I know exactly what you mean re: the emotional stress and i really don't know if we'll be carrying on after our last go next year.... I'm going to try and talk DH round to adoption. There's just so much bad news on here ... it makes me think it can never work for us. I'm glad you've set the ball in motion and got your appointment.. well done!
Just got back from another whirlwind visit up north to deliver all the presents - shattered - tried to spend time with everyone but it's always such a rush. Anyway now that's all over now we can relax, get through our last week of work and this time next week we'll be on the plane - getting very excited now.. been reading up on Bangkok and Phuket and deciding what we want to do when we get there - better slap some self-tan on this week and get de-fuzzed in preparation!!
Hope you're all feeling calm and ready for Christmas!
Tracey and Lee - glad to hear you're taking positive steps towards getting a family and I really hope it works out for you. Are you likely to get a baby/very young child?
Caron - bet you're glad to be back in dark old Wales!! - we've got a good inch of snow here now and its still coming. Its good to hear you too are being so positive about becoming a mum - can you send some positive thoughts to me though, as I am struggling a bit at the mo. I went to a Chernobyl Childrens meeting/Xmas lunch yesterday. One of the other ladies is pregnant and everyone was going on about how wonderful babies are, etc. Plus the president of Belarus has commanded that no children should be taken out of the country for recuprative holidays because they are being corrupted by Western consumerism - so we may not be able to look after any kiddies next summer. Si has been good (even bought me flowers last Friday ) - he said during my 2ww it was lovely to see me cheerful and with some sparkle, like my old self, like I was 5 years ago. I have an appointment with the counsellor on Jan 16th but Mr P is fully booked for January so we are waiting for a cancellation. Not sure what we'll do though. Si will not adopt, but don't know if I am strong enough to give up trying yet - a childless future is so bleak, but the last few years have been no fun either
I have been trying to be positive and have rewritten my cv - my New Year resolution is to try to get a proper job that I enjoy. And I keep trying to get enthusiastic about our trip to New Zealand but finding it hard.
We are going to my parents for Christmas but will not be driving down to Devon until Friday night as Si's work partner has had to go to Ireland where his dad is critically ill, so Si will be working all week.
Sorry this is such a miserable post - not much Christmas spirit here.
Hope you have a great time in Thailand Ange - I'm sure it'll be wonderful, sun, good food, warm seas. In fact, I feel a bit better just remembering what a brilliant time we had there, even if it was a lifetime away.
Hope Jan and Dizzy are doing better than me
Best wishes to everyone else.
Hi!!! Yes, Ange you are right - well, kind of.. ...I'm just popping in to wish everyone a very MERRY XMAS and hope that 2005 brings us all the wishes we long for.
I'm sorry I've not been around....have had horrid bug..felt like death warmed up for three days and now have chest infection and headaches ( day one too! )..thought we were losing our dog, she is quite old ( we think ) but a real fighter..anyway, after a VERY emotional visit to the vet and lots of antibiotics and more meds than you could imagine she back to normal ..DH has gone skiing leaving me with about 100 cards to write and send and just as many pressies..the credit card has stopped working..and he keeps sending me e-mails getting me to fax urgent stuff for work ( and I can't work his computer so all these mega-important faxes are hand-written - how professional is that?!! )..DD is getting dead excited about "****-****" but is getting naughtier by the minute..the decorations keep falling off the walls and the tree is looking VERY sad
( dressed by a three year old..hum...)..the only good thing is that the Christmas wine arrived early,weeeellll I don't start down-regging until mid Jan!..... ....
Take care all of you and let's really hope 2005's the one for all of us eh?
It is quiet on here - not surprising if everyone is as busy as you sound Debs. And hope you are feeling better for your wine
Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and may at least some of your wishes come true in 2005!
Hope you're all having a fabulous Christmas!I've had a great time - anyone who is interested can check out our web site where DH has just posted pics of the last mad few days ( and me first thing Xmas morning - yuk!)
Can any of you set my mind at rest though...when was Ange going to Thailand?I thought it was Boxing Day ...was really worried when I read the news this morning.
Well we had a good Christmas - not too many tantrums from the adults
It was lovely to have some snow to play in on Boxing Day - my niece and nephew built an igloo up on Dartmoor (with a little help from dad, bother and Si) and the dog enjoyed chasing sledges
I too immediately thought of Ange when I heard the awful news from SE Asia - I've checked thru all the old posts and I think she was flying out on Sunday. If you're still here Ange let us know you're safe. If you got to Thailand - hope you're OK.
Thank you so much for thinking of me - we never even got to Gatwick - we were due to fly out on Sunday but heard the news in the morning and phoned the travel agent who told us it was cancelled. We were very shaken up to think that if it'd happened a few days later, we'd have been on that beach in Phuket - I checked and our hotel was badly damaged. We've spent the last couple of days trying to find another holiday and have just managed to book Antigua going on the 8th. Neither of us are particularly excited about it - we can't stop thinking about what's happened in Thailand.
Hope you've all had a good Christmas - I'm looking forward to getting this year over with - roll on 2005!!
nice to see you are all having a nice xmas. we have apart from lee having horrible flu for the last 2 weeks. ive caught it but not nearly so bad, lee and i are having some friends and family around to see the new year in.
ange... im so glad you did not make that holiday ... it must have been a terrible shock for you on sunday - the pictures on the news are horrific..bless all their poor hearts. the people out there are so lovely too. a blessing that you didnt make it out there.
Angek, you had alot of people concerned about you. My mum and dad wanted to go for xmas this year becuase they love it there, thank god they changed thier minds.
hope you all had a fan xmas and I am sure all of us will reach our goals this year.
Hope 2005 has started well for you all We're really into planning for New Zealand now - 3 weeks is just not long enough to fit everything in
Ange - hope you enjoy Antigua, you deserve a good holiday after all that happened last year.
Deb - are you ready to start again?? Sending an early