Glad all went well, mrs E. Probably not a bad idea to let your body restore itself a bit after that operation. A month wait could be frustrating, but might be worth it in the long run. Hope you feel well soon!
Morning.. Over the last year or two I've had an ocassional little look on the donor threads but this is first time I've properly posted. Long (sorry I tried!) story short - investigations have shown that we have no chance of using my partner's sperm to create our own biological child. From the beginning (before the Mr R days) donor or adoption has been in our thoughts, more so my own thoughts as my partner couldn't consider that at all before we came to the end of our attempts with his sperm. However, it was my partner who at one of the first appointments with our local clinic told me that he preferred the idea of donor. It was just after that point that our NHS clinic told us our only option would be donor. I know we should be 'grieving' the loss of our potential bio child but in all honesty I've never been too hopeful that it would be a possibility. In some ways I actually feel quite relieved that we don't have to keep going back and forth up to London for appointments and that we can stop. Close family and friends know about our difficulties and one in particular knows we've thought about donor and she is really supportive of it, also my Mum is (a little too assertively) is keen on the idea. Anyways that's us. I know it doesn't matter what other people think but I'm pleased they are supportive. So, if you don't mind I'm going to lurk a little bit and pop in and out whilst we think about what to do. Not sure if that's the right thing to do or not, who knows but here I am. I guess the next step for us, when we feel the time is right, is to get back in contact with our original clinic. I had a root through our paperwork from the early days and it says make direct contact if donor is something we want to consider.
Hi Kjade and Hannah, Amanda and Babyb and anyone else I've missed from the other board xx
Big welcome louise xx
It a big relief when u decide to throw in the towel with 'sperm mining'. U can just get on with ttc and for me it feels like a far more positive journey
That's great ur family are so supportive
Urgh well I thought I'd be heading for baseline tomorrow but .
Hopefully it shows up tomoz
Welcome Louise. Looks like you and DH have really taken things to the furthest medically possible to try and have a genetic child of the two of you. I think knowing there is absolutely no chance makes the choice of going down the donor route easier (although I think it is quite common to have a slight wobble in this confidence every now and then at any point in the journey). Lurk and post as much as you like .
KJade: oh so familiar, waiting for AF, who is not keeping to schedule just when you want her to... She will come in the end .
Welcome Louise. I know it's a hard place to be after trying so hard for the biobaby route. One thing I think has helped me is that with donor I know I'm much more likely to be able to have multiple children vs the miracle of just one with NOA. And during our FET's with his NOA sperm I was always worried that the DNA quality wasn't good and it would lead to an u healthier baby since there is likely a genetic reason they can't make sperm. Little things but it helped pushed me forward.
Welcome Louise - can't imagine what its been like for you trying to 'mine sperm' for genetic baby. It must be awful.
We were 'lucky' as there was no option for that at all - Hubby just doesn't have the right chromosomes to make sperm. Which means that we are now in the midst of treatment after a relatively short time trying. (2 years from coming off contraception now) Feel free to dip in and out as you make your decisions. Glad your family are supportive....I had an assertive lot of parents and in-laws about the whole thing. Which eventually got on both our nerves, just stick with it. Your family want the best for you - and want you to be happy!
I am now recovered, after Thursday's op. Just tired, and I think spotting from the op has now turned into AF. So I am now on the 28 day countdown to starting treatment again. Now am looking for decent books on ICSI, what to eat, how to prepare, what to expect that sort of thing. Also anything that can decrease stress would be great! Any ideas ladies - let me know?
Thanks for the welcome I'd be lost without this site xx
Mining for sperm, god yes that's exactly what it was
Babyb - I'd never thought about it like that. How true.
Hannah - glad it's normal. I was just reading back a few posts and noticed you'd written about your family circumstances and it got me thinking that both my Mum and my partner were raised by single Dads - my Mum's Mum died and partner's Mum was unwell and my partner has 2 half siblings who were adopted cos his Mum couldn't look after them. All that goes through my mind when thinking about what a 'normal' family is.
My partner spoke to his Dad this evening and told him our latest news. He said he's really sad for us but when partner mentioned possibility of donor he said something like 'when that baby is born it won't matter' and pointed out that many children are raised not knowing who their bio 'dads' (his word) are. I know it's our life and our decision but I'm so happy that he's also on board about it and makes me feel more confident in this as a way forward as my first thoughts have been adoption. I think before we start anything I'm going to seek some counselling etc for myself. I seem to experience recurrent low mood since my mid teens for which I've never really had any proper therapy for and I'm getting really fed up with it. Felt it creeping in again about 4 weeks ago and it's time to do the sensible thing and sort it out. I worry about the impact of hormones on me with treatment or even postnatally as when I was taking contraception my mental health suffered (more than 'just' PMS), and even now when I ovulate it's really tough.
Hope your AF is getting her bum in gear KJade!
Am excited to be seeing how you're all getting on x
Louise we also considered adoption but when I think about the children who aren't removed from their birth parents who really should be removed , due to high thresholds, and how bad things have to be for a child before they get taken into care, I sort of had second thoughts and decided to try for a BC first!!
I also suffer with low mood, and have been on antiD before long term. I came off on Drs recommendation due to TTc, but I will defo go back on them in the long term if I need to.
did anyone else find their cycles are messed up after tx im on day 32 now
***MrsE Ive just seen your post. I mentioned it earlier. Reswana Patterson , Relaxation for your IVF cycle. £10 off amazon**
MrsE- Google and download It's Starts With The Egg. I think CoQ10 is one of the best supplements anyone can take and it's one of the few with lots of studies showing it be beneficial for IVF you just up the dose to 800mg. I did accupunture and twice weekly massages and they really helped.
I ditto that. Book is good!
Before my last cycle I had CoQ10 (Ubiquonal) along with a range of other supplements and egg quality definitely better! It may have been down to chance but worth considering. You need to take for at least three months before cycle.
I had that last week before the operation Kjade....the nurses did a pregnancy test with wee - but couldn't get any result, so wanted to do a blood test. So i had the whole....'you do know that its not possible to get pregnant without sperm' conversation!!
It'll turn up, just when you are in the middle of something or wearing your best undies!
Sorry ladies you're still waiting for AF - I had delays too when I was waiting to cycle.
Also second the frustration about hospitals wanting to do pregnancy tests, I know it is only protocol but nothing like a smack in the face!
OMG that must be so annoying. u think they'd know about the basics of reproduction seeing as they work in a fertility clinic
that's right MrsE, my best ASDA undies!
I agree Ubiniquol q10 is supposed to be thing to take. blxxdy expensive though. £45 in most health shops. £17 on amazon but I waited ages for it to come . over 2 weeks.
I've been having a wobble the past few days. I've convinced myself that I have implantation issues as my body wont absorb iron properly so there must be something up. I don't even know if the 2 are linked , but I've convinced myself they are. the day before I convinced myself I had Endo, and perhaps that's why I don't absorb iron as its all in the endo bits?!?
now I think I must be menopausal as no AF!
I Really am starting to lose my grip here
Don't worry Kjade - you are not not menopausal because AF hasn't shown up. Try to keep calm and stick your CD on, it wont do you any good to stress about this stuff. Breathe in and out and focus on one thing at a time. You need AF to show up, thats all, you aren't worrying about anything implanting just yet.
Thats what my doc said to me last week, she said that I am too focussed on the whole thing, rather than one step at a time. She told me to stop treating it as a business strategy and to focus on each part of the process one step at a time. As we can't do anything about step 10 right now when we haven't even got to step 1, and perhaps steps 2, 4 and 7 might change step 10 all together!
To be fair to these nurses they were at the local gynae unit not fertility but they did get a bit of a shock when I casually asked if they thought I'd been having it off with the milkman....poor girls its not their fault, but seriously sometimes...just listen to the patient!
Had the discussion about pregnancy tests in local clinic (especially after I saw file of a 50 year old with a serious hart condition and huge myoma's to be removed by laparotomy, neatly stating the pregnancy test had been taken and was negative). When I went in for my op last year I was being hurried off to OT when they stopped my bed so I could pee in a pot first... I just did not have time to discuss.
Apparently they did have a few cases that turned out to be positive, also in an F-F couple, so now they do it on everybody, no exception.
MrsE: I have had times I thought the milkman (or plumber, or whatever) would be a cheaper and easier solution...
Kjade - yes I've seen that myself through my work. There's the flip side of that though which is foster to adopt of very little ones and I'm not sure how I feel about that either. Aww, hope you're feeling a bit better. The mind does start to wander to all sorts of possibilities
Hannah - I think I remember you talking about your DH adoption and about his dad. Definitely feels good to have an answer. Very pleased we were able to try everything too, no what ifs. Glad you've found counselling helpful. I'm hoping I can try to develop some longer term strategies. I actually give this sort of advice/support in my job, difficult to apply it to myself though