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Thanks Louise, I forgot how LONG the 2ww is :D I still feel pretty chilled but I want to know one way or the other.  This is it for us, if it doesn't work we will be happy with our beautiful son and get on with life, we more money and less stress :D If it does work, i'm excited to build a little family and give our son a brother or sister, and enjoy the amazing newborn smell again.  (I'm pretending to forget all the hard newborn stuff at the moment :D).

I have started testing already  ::) Only 4dp transfer.  If feels like i'm doing something even though I know it'll be negative.  I'm hoping if it's worked, I might show a positive from Saturday or soon after (7dp).  I think it was 9dp when my son showed up positive.  I'm a nutter I know, but 17 March seems so far away (that's my OTD).

I've had some strange twinges and feel a bit grumpy but that is my normal PMT so no idea what's going on.  I'm due to get my period between now and Sat but no sign so far. Not sure if the progesterone holds it off?

How is everyone else?
 

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Ah louise I envy u so much. I was sick pretty much daily from day 1 to 40. Some respite at 20 weeks. I found pregnancy absolutely brutal!

Amazing news wilberdo!  Cant wait for the bfp post  ;) xx
 

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I feel completely mad KJ  ^idiot^ I forgot how awful the 2ww is!!! Honestly the wait is killing me, all the zen thoughts are out the window and I am wreck.  I'm 6dp 5dt at the moment - testing every day has turned out not to have helped I don't think!  Rahhhhhh
 

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Ok, I think it’s a bfp, very faint second line on a FRER. But its definitely there, compared it with the negative ones and there is definitely a line. I honestly didn’t dare hope this would work ... I’ll do another test in the morning to see if the line is darker. I’m in shock, please stick!!! I got up as couldn’t sleep for thinking about it and kept googling -  ^idiot^. Fingers crossed!!
 

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Ahhh wilberdoo!!!!so exciting  ^banana^ ^banana^ ^banana^.
Fingers crossed .but sounds promising xx
 

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Hi all,

Wow so much amazing news. Congratulations all!!

Well I won’t lie this last miscarriage was tough! Combined with the news coming 2 days before Christmas, not miscarrying for another 3 weeks after that and lockdown meant I lost my head for a bit! The only good bit is we just managed to sneak a trip to Devon in before lockdown hit which gave me some time out (although that was before the miscarriage so couldn’t really grieve).

So anyway I must be nuts but here I go again on my 5th fresh cycle! Now fully funded by me - nearly threw up paying £2000 for donor sperm and meds! So I’ve got my baseline scan on 16th April and hopefully start the injections then! My calculations make egg collection around 29th April and transfer early May. My consultant genuinely thinks it will work for me eventually and I’ve just been incredibly unlucky but we shall see.... trying a fresh cycle this time and lots of extra lubion! I’m terrified I won’t lie because I’m not entirely sure I can cope with another failed cycle or miscarriage but I’m not ready to give up yet.

Hope you are all good. xx
 

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Hi molly great to hear form u

Fantastic news that your ploughing on ahead. And no your not mad at all your an IVF warrior woman and you WILL get there. Sometimes switching clinics is the golden ticket. I have everything crossed for you pleas keep us posted

Wilberdo and Louise how are you both?
Xx
 

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Hey guys
Molly - bloody hell that sounds brutal! No wonder it was tough for you. Good luck for your next cycle, IVF is so bloody expensive! I get so annoyed that fertiles have babies easily AND don’t have to fork out for it - life is unfair!  ;D I hope your consultant is right and this is your lucky cycle xx

Kj I’m just completely mad if I’m honest  ^idiot^ assume it’s hormones but I’m a mess. Ever since about a week into the 2ww I have been anxious, depressed and wired - now I also seem to have MS 24/7 and indigestion. Honestly I shouldn’t moan as I’ve been so lucky to get a BFP and the scan this week (I’m 8 weeks now  :eek:) was totally fine. I’m just feeling a bit bonkers! My last pregnancy was not like this at all. I mean, I was hormonal and had a bit of sickness but nothing like this  ^eyes^
 

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Ah thanks. I’ve actually ended up at the same clinic 🙈 never ever my intention! So our very first consultant did my follow up and I loved him so much and he was so positive it stopped me moving elsewhere! Despite having all my medical records and another appointment elsewhere booked! So we shall see...

Also think I might be mad but I’ve used the same sperm! Even though it thawed badly last time and they told me to expect no day 5 embryos! I ended up with 2 but obviously I miscarried them both. I didn’t like the alternative they had and I had no energy to look elsewhere! I really loved the donor as it matched my husband so perfectly. Ive swapped sperm 3 times previously so just thought I’d give it another go!

Had my baseline scan today. All good! Actually fed up of hearing how perfect my uterus is 🤦🏻‍♀️It might look perfect but it seems incapable of doing its job! Injections start tomorrow... xx
 

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Hi all,

Just thought I’d update you all with my latest journey! I’m officially PUPO with 2 top quality hatching blastocysts. They used a new technique for transfer which apparently has had amazing results so fingers crossed! I’ve had a really good cycle so far and feels very much like if this doesn’t work it never will! 🤞🏻

Molly xx
 

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Hey guys, congrats molly!! All crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞🤞

I had some bad news yesterday, I had a NIPT percept test and it came back high risk for trisomy 13 which is very rare and probably incompatible with life, from my extensive googling 😔 😭 apparently the test is 82% correct at being right. It’s usual with this to miscarry or terminate the pregnancy 😑

Does anyone have any experience of this? I have a 13 week scan at 13+2 and a CVS booked for 19 May - such a long wait!! Currently 11+2. There is a possibility this could be inconclusive and I’ll have to have an amino at 15.5.

I am devastated but have realised from some research this result often has a false positive and I also think they calculated the risk based on my age, not the age of the embryo - age 35 v 41. The risk increases with each year so I’m going to call the clinic back today and speak to the genetic counsellor to see if this makes a difference. I also want them to tell me my own risk not the general risk. I have so many questions today now I’ve digested the news. I’ve decided to be positive until proven otherwise - a new type of PUPO for me. I am preparing myself for the worse though 💔
 

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Oh honey I'm so sorry you've received such worrying news.
I cant imagine the turmoil your in.
I too seem to recall that this is something where lots of people have had false positives.
So I'm keeping everything crossed that's what it is.
Still I just cant imagine how u are feeling right now.

Did u manage to get through to genetic counselor?
Sending you warm hugs xxxxx
 

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OTD tomorrow but I’ve got another BFP which is still getting darker. So here we go again and I’m praying it’s 3rd time lucky. Now the dreaded wait until the viability scan. I’m finding it very difficult to be happy or excited with everything we’ve been through. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible but am waiting for the bad news! Seems we’ve cracked getting me pregnant though! xx
 

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Hey molly, so excited for you! One hurdle down at least. I get the worry though, I hope all is ok for you xxxxxxx
 

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It’s official test date and I’m already in a state! I just don’t think my lines are dark enough and my clearblue is still saying 1-2 weeks. I couldn’t feel less pregnant if I tried! Convinced myself I’m going to miscarry again. I just don’t know how I’m going to get myself through the next 3 weeks!
 

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Sending you virtual hugs, it’s so bloody stressful. I haven’t had any issues with pregnancy (apart from my hubbies non obs azoo and this recent high risk result!) but this time I’ve been highly stressed and it’s been awful. I really feel for you, it should be a special time but it’s just one worry to the bloody next. If it helps I didn’t feel pregnant at all and then at 5 or 6 weeks it hit me like a bloody hammer. Awful in a different way but at least I felt pregnant! Good luck lady, you can do this. I found baths very soothing and trying some deep breathing- I got so short of breath with anxiety.
take care of yourself xxxxxx
 

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Sending hugs molly!!

Remember after what you've been through your going to be in a heightened state of anxiety.
This can do all sorts to your mind.
Including over analysis of a POAST and obsession about the shade/darkness of the line.
Weve all been there !
Sending positive thoughts for the next 3 weeks
You've been so close before and theres no reason why this time cant be 'the time' xx
 

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Thanks both! Not sure what happened to me today. In my state though I managed to convince the clinic to do me a HCG blood test! So I’m going for one tomorrow and one Monday. I just hope the outcome is reassuring and doesn’t cause more worry. I need to stop comparing this pregnancy to the previous 2 because clearly they were non-viable. I’ve been so hopeful until now. xx
 

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Good luck with your HCG results, they do them at my clinic on OTD, weird they wouldn’t do that so great you are getting two! It’s just so good to get that definitive number and to see it rise. I think my clinic were a bit obsessed.. pretty sure I had one on OTD and then 2 more. I felt like a pin cushion this pregnancy and I only did a FET 🤣

how are you feeling today? I was ok but DH and I just had a massive row about absolutely nothing and I feel particularly hormonal, I think it’s the stress of being pregnant, the trisomy wait and recent stress and our UK move. No time to rest or relax it’s so full on. I love our 5 yo son to bits but can’t wait to have a bit more help back in the UK. It’s hard doing it without family help!
 

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They’ve never done it at my clinic until I had the viability scan which showed an empty sac then I had about 5 of them! I think they have only agreed to do it this time because it’s not an NHS cycle! No idea what it’s going to cost me but I don’t really care right now if it helps me. Just worried now it might add more fear if the numbers aren’t what I think they should be or rising how they should. Test at 9 though so I should know before too long! I was actually feeling ok this morning although the nerves of the test have set in!

Oh I can completely imagine all that has lead to arguments. I can’t begin to imagine the stress. Me and my husband argue a lot normally through cycles although this time we’ve been better! When are you back in the UK?
 
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