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So I found out today that our baby has trisomy 13 and so we will terminate the pregnancy. It’s fairer to him so he doesn’t suffer. I’m so so sad, I really wanted this baby. We called him Ollie. I can’t believe this is happening to us really. I’m pretty much 17 weeks.
I can decide on a surgical termination or on being induced. If I’m induced I can see him but not if we do the surgical option. I think I’m leaning towards being induced so I can see him and hold him. Whatever I do I just want it over with now. My belly is just a reminder of what we’ve lost.
It’s so hard thinking we won’t have him after going through all this, it’s so unfair 😓
 

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Oh honey. I have no words .I'm so heartbroken for u .
Cant beleive your going through this .so so cruel . Sending love and strength xxxx
 

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Oh Wilberdoo, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine but completely makes sense to make that decision. It really is unfair.
 

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Wilberdoo and Molly. How are u both doing?
X
 

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Hey KJ - good days and bad days 😕 I’m so sad and angry. Sad about losing Ollie and angry that I have to use IVF to try again and that it’s so bloody hard and expensive, and I feel so old. If I could have conceived naturally I’d have started my family at 30 or 31 not 36 and I wouldn’t now be bloody 41 thinking about doing IVF and worrying so much about it working and how we’ll afford it. It’s so friggin unfair!!!
sorry for the rant! Xx
 

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God I really dont like the new format of this forum. Miss the old FF so.much.

Wilberdo u are not alone. I have been struggling with the injustice of it all recently. The ease at which many people have their families is something I find very hard to accept. I feel a sort of dismissive resentment towards them all. It can be hard to put it into words sometimes.
Take 1 day at a time and remember to do something nice for yourself. Xx
 

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Hey guys, so quiet here!
So I looked into shipping donor sperm from Aus to the UK - over $5000!!!!! I am astounded. So another bloody decision, pay this or use a new donor. It would be cheaper to come back to Aus to cycle - but I can’t due to friggin covid and by the time I will be able to travel I’ll probably be about 50!!
I wondered if anyone else had 2 or more children using multiple donors? I really wanted to try again with the same donor but it feels so hard to do that and so expensive. I’d rather use that money on a cycle. Which I can’t even afford right now.
And the other thing for those that remember is that our donor is dying (honestly you can’t make it up the poor bugger) and so even though he is happy for us to continue to use the sperm my son won’t be able to contact him when he’s older so I guess using another donor means this option is still open to any future children.
thoughts??? I hate that I have all these decisions!!!
 

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Oh my goodness wilberdo that's an absolute joke!
Hmmm in your situation I'd be tempted to look at a new donor.
I know ideally people want the same one but things happen and sometimes plans have to change .
You have to sometimes prioritise giving yourself the best chance of a baby at the end of it all.
And 5k just to ship would be too much for me.
Xx
 

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Hi all,

Wilberdoo, this whole situation is so unfair. And what a hard decision to make. That is a lot of money. There's no easy answer. I know of people who have used different donors but it's not the same situation as yours. I don't know if it's something you've thought about but do you know if there are other children conceived by your son's donor? If you did use the same donor your children may be able to reach out to 'half siblings' so would share the same situation that way.. Just a thought. But also, any of our donors could sadly pass away at any time before our children are able to think about making contact.
 

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Hi all,

Sorry I took a break from the forum.

Wilberdoo I was so sad to read your news. I can’t begin to imagine how you feel. I hope you have been looking after yourself.

I’m ok, we had a lovely holiday at the beginning of July but since I’ve come back I’ve been struggling again! I wanted to try again this month but I was put on blood pressure medication in June that wasn’t safe in pregnancy and my clinic wouldn’t let me start without changing it. I was just so annoyed because I asked my gp for pregnancy safe medication and she said ‘well you’re not pregnant’ 🙄 very frustrating. Anyway I’ve now changed medication and the clinic finally confirmed today I can go ahead with a natural FET this month but they’ve left me hanging nearly 2 weeks not knowing! I’m on day 13 of my cycle and I tend to ovulate around day 15/16 so expecting transfer in a week or so!! I’ll be on extra progesterone and if I do get pregnant take aspirin and something else I can’t remember the name of! Consultant still thinks it’s ‘bad luck’ and that it will eventually happen for us but it will depend how many times I can keep trying! It’s very draining!

How is everyone else? xx
 

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Hello molly so nice to hear from you. And glad you've squeezed a holiday in too as u needed it.
Great that another cycle is under way. And as frustrating it is that the consultant says its bad luck it may well just be that. Although that doesn't make it easier, however also mean no reason this time cant be the time!
U can do this and u will get your baby
Keep us posted xx
 

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Well I am officially PUPO (again!). OTD 28th august but clearly I’ll test early because I can’t help myself and I’ve always tested positive by 5dp5dt / 6dp5dt. I’m quite chilled at the moment. Think I just have no expectations anymore. I’ll keep you posted. xx
 

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Amazing news Molly! No reason why this won't be the time. U can do it and were all cheering you on! Xx
 

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Hey molly, good luck! I really hope this is the one 🙏🙏🙏🙏
So we are now back in the UK from Aus and loving it. I’m just sad it’s not with our baby and I’m really feeling the loss today 😞
 

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I’m pretty sure it’s not worked this time 😞 negative test today and a little bit of spotting which I always get on the run up to my period which is due Wednesday. I knew it would be unlikely to work 4 times in a row! It still hurts though. I’m on so much progesterone it’s making me feel awful - I just can’t wait to come off it!
 

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Ah molly surley its too early to test??? How many days post xfer r u? I totally relate to the awful feeling of progesterone overdose.
Please don't lose hope hun I know u can do this ! Sending positivity your way xx
 

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7dp5dt today and another negative test. I know it would show positive by now! My period is due tomorrow. Not sure if it will come or the ridiculous amount of progesterone I’m on will stop it. I’m not going to test again now anyway - will just test on test day! xx
 

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Ah molly noooooo. I really wanted it to be your time. I would stay on the progesterone as awful as it is. 7dp5dt is still early and u could have a late implanter....(((((hugs)))))))
 

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Yeah I’ll stay on it until test date as much as I’d rather not! I definitely have no hope though 😞 booking another holiday! Always my answer to failed cycles / miscarriages although it is definitely bankrupting us! xx
 

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Juts checking in molly 2 c how u are? I'm guessing OTD turned out as expected
What a sh!t time of this you've had.
Book that holiday u seriously deserve it xx
 
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