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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
After 4 failed isci treatments and 1 cancelled fet we have decided not to continue with isci and use donated sperm instead  (our consultant agreed with us) however over the past couple of days i have been reading some stories on this site of couples that have been successful after 6 even 7 times using isci.  Part of our decision to go down the donor route is due to the fact that we find the whole process so stressful and heart breaking that i really do think we couldn’t stand any more isci treatment.  My question is are we giving up too soon! Am i just being impatient and being a wimp because i don’t like injecting myself and filling my body full of drugs.  I just feel that there are so many couples out there that are prepared to go to any lengths so that they can have a child of their own.  Am i being selfish in wanting to use a donor.  i know it sounds like i'm feeling sorry for myself but i am really confused and would like to hear off anyone who has any advice or who is in the same situation
 

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Hi Caren

I understand how you feel totally.

Sorry to hear about your recent negative. It certainly takes the wind out of your sails each time it happens doesnt it.

I stuggle on a day to day basis with the whole situation.

Has your consultant discussed with you different options like assisted hatching, PGS (genetic screening to select the best embryo). These are just a few options that could be investigated also have you had any immune testing done?

Not sure if any of the above may help. Would it be worth having a consulation with a different clinic to see if the advise they give you differs at all?

Best wishes

Lou xxxx
 

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i've never heard of any of your suggestions, this is what makes me feel really unsure, why has our consultant never mention this to us! is it because he thinks its not worth it. I feel really fustrated with myself for not asking more questions.
 

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Caren,
This is all so difficult and everyone feels differently so do not beat yourself up. You are amazing to have gone through 4 attempts. I am struggling with the idea of even starting one.

What I have found most frsutrating is when I did not have all the information I felt we needed to make the best decision at any point of the process. If you are having doubts i would suggest you sit and make a list of the questions you would like answered and then call your clinic and ask to speak to the consultant.

I know they tend to have a very rigid appointments system but I found making friends with the consultant's secretary very helpful. She managed to get him to give me a phone call and I was able to ask a couple of questions to put my mind at rest without waiting weeks until we could actually see him again. Its so imporatnt that it must be worth a try? Just be a bit pushy!!
Good luck, MeganXX
 

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dear caren
i agree with megan, you are amazing to have gone through 4 attempts - we too are struggling with the concept of doing 1!! I don't think you are giving up too easily at all. Honestly I think you are very brave and strong to have some so far and that you should listen to your heart on this one - and dh's obviously. There are so many mysterious ways that children come to us - perhaps using a donor sperm could be one of them for you??

What does dh say about it??

with best wishes, ruby k xx
 

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Hi Caren
Welcome to FF a wonderful place this is!
I don't know much (or anything actually) about ICSI so I can't answer your questions, something I sis find really useful for us was the HFEA's publication, 'A patients guide to infertility' a free book giving you a mine of useful infomration, clinic directory & patient storie. You can get a free copy sent to you from the HFEA, here is the link
http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ForPatients/Yourguidetoinfertility-NEW

Lotsa of love and luck to you
Chick
 

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hi Caren

Welcome to FF. There is no such thing as giving up too soon or being too impatient. You and your DH know how you feel and know the stress you have been under to get this far. 4 ICSI treatments is a lot to go through emotionally and physically and all credit to you for have go through this so far.

It maybe worth posting in the donor thread to get a few opinions as to how people have approached using a donor and also how it has made them and ther partners feel.

It is also worth speaking to your clinics counsellor to have a space to talk about any issues you may have concerns on.

Just know that on this site you will have the non judgemental support you need to take whatever steps you and your DH want to on your IF journey.

Clare
 
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