Nikki and BB, glad you're levels are rising nicely.
Joanna, good luck on your 2ww, hope it's flying by - if you know what I mean.
Everyone else, I hope you are all doing ok and have had a lovely weekend in the sun.
Well Abbey, unfortunately, it looks as though I will be joining you lovely ladies here. The witch arrived with avengence last night and i'm paying for it today. I have to phone the ARGC today, but presumably they do the hep b etc and then get me sniffing in three weeks time.
Can I ask, did anyone else feel as though they would never get pregnant? That sounds like such a stupid question doesn't it. Everyone keeps telling me to be positive, but I've got a bad feeling about my body, I'm sure it's not up to it.
Sorry for the down post - but I've been at breaking point all week. I Found out two of my friends are pregnant and have had to spend a lot of time with one of them this week (I love her), but it's been so darn hard. I'm officially the only one left to have a baby. I've been suffering with panick attacks and floods of tears and Mark is terribly down too. I think we're both really scared that this won't work.
Everybody says 'your turn will come', but I'm just not feeling it, if you know what I mean.
I'm so terribly sorry for being so down and for the me post, but I don't know where else to turn.
Is anybody else due to start treatment around the same time?
You are not alone, we all share your fear that we will never get there, especially when it seems that everyone around you falls pg at the drop of a hat. But the reality is that probably a quarter of 30+ year olds have problems, the good thing is that you are doing something about it and are now on the road to getting your dream. You are seeing one of the best fertility clinics in the world so have done everything to make sure it happens. Keep in mind the statistics as you are at least 3 times as likely to get pregnant through IVF at the ARGC than you would if you were trying naturally and had no problems with fertility at all so you have an excellent chance of getting a BFP in eight weeks time.
Is this your first time? It can be really overwhelming but we are all here for you. You will get a baby and the treatment is fine, it is just the emotional bits that are difficult to deal with.
Thankyou Lol, for your wise words. You're right about the statistics - I'd never thought about it that way.
It is my first time - hence my nerves. We've been trying for over two years and never once had a +ve. It just makes me think there's something badly wrong.
I suppose if anyone can fix it, though, Mr T can.
Laylar, that's exactly what terrifies me too.
I'm so sorry to hear you've had such awful luck.
Lets hope things start to turn around and we get some positive news.
It looks like I'll be starting the nasal spray on the 6th August, how about you?
My period started yesterday, but was only heavy by about 7ish, but it's been very heavy trough the night. Do I count yesterday as day 1? If so, sniffing starts on 6th, which means I'll be menopausal for my birthday on the 18th, excellent news.
Tina - Good luck with your bloods today, hope things can move forward now.
Paranoid - Good luck with your results today, I hope you can start your humira.
Missy - To be honest I'm now cross eyed from reading Harry Potter all weekend. I'm having a race with my sister to see who can finish it first, its kinda unfair as I keep sleeping! I think I may have that bug you mentioned but its so hard to tell when my tummy hurts from all sorts of drugs too.
BB - I'm glad your levels have risen, fingers crossed for another big jump.
Carmela - Thank you so much for your advice, btw do you realise how famous you are in the clinic, when you talk to the nurses/embriologists about how many to put back in etc. I always get told your story, they're all so proud of you. Obviously they don't mention your name but I know its you.
Jane - Thank you too. I have come to the conclusion that you're all right and its the ritrodine. Nasty stuff! Your girls sound so good and so do you for getting to grips with your house so soon, was DH surprised?
Marly - I'm glad that all seemed well but make sure you don't let them bully you into doing anything you're not comfortable with as you've fought too hard getting this far in the first place. So exciting though as not long to go now!
Flick - Hope your furbabies were as brave as their Mum with injections. Good luck in August, I think its so great that you and Georgia can do it together....who knows you'll probably end up giving birth together!!
Layla - Oh yes it really sucks!!!!
Lisa - I'm sorry to hear you're so down honey, we're all here for you. I so understand how scary it can be starting tx but trust in Mr.T he really is the best. I also understand how hard it is when all your friends are popping babies out like nobodys business, I think we've all been there and hopefully you will be too soon.
Well I feel a bit better today thank goodness. Not much to report apart from going slowly mad and growing more and more negative by the day. I just can't imagine that this time next week I'll be told I'm pregnant....the opposite seems so much more likely.
Lots of love
No need to apologise for the rant, no need at all.
The progesterone was the last part of the cycle for me and like you, mr T only discussed my immune results very quickly with me and Mark wasn't there.
We haven't had an opportunity to speak to him since, we just got a call from the nurse to tell us what Mr T had recommended - which was IVF with ivig and all the trimmings.
We too are unexplained, although I do suffer with endometriosis (suffering quite badly now actually) and I thought there was a possibility that we might try IUI. In the end, I'm glad the decision was taken out of our hands. I'm finding it difficult to choose cereal at the moment, never mind infertility treatments!
I'm sure once Mr T has looked at your cycle as a whole, he'll decide what he thinks is best for you.
I felt (and still do a bit) exactly the same about letting go and trusting in the treatment, but the girls here made me feel so much better about it. It must be much harder for you though, being a doctor.
My endometriosis is supposidly mild, but it certainly doesn't feel it. My tubes are clear, but my last lap was 6 years ago. Nobody seems to think I need another one. I suppose we have to just have a bit of faith in the ARGC and their results.
It's awful when you get days like this isn't it. They seem to be much more regular recently.
It's great to have a place like this to come and chat. It's the only place were people truly understand what we go through.
I hope you feel better tomorrow Laylar.
I'm off home now - I'm feeling so awful I just can't stay at work.
Just wanted to say fantastic news to BB on your doubling levels!!!! go girl go girl . I am so relieved for you!!!! the christening must have been so much happier for you! Just keep looking after yourself - hope your little bean has had a kick up the a*** now and will start causing you lots of symptoms!!
Joanna - I'm not on ritrodine this time but it really made me wobbly and very shaky, felt like an alchoholic in the mornings! hope you feel better, I am feeling more negative as the days creep on too, BFP's happen to other people!
Lisa - pls don't be negative, you have a real genuine chance of this working - the world is your oyster when you first start tx, and you are in the best hands with Mr T, least you haven't wasted attempts/heartache at other clinics first - you have to turn this into a real opportunity of becoming a Mummy rather than focus on the negative sides, once you start tx it flies by and you have so many stages to get through first you won't have time to worry about a BFN at the end of it! not forgetting Mr T's high success rates are based around women who have had failures elsewhere - so you have a fantastic chance.
Layla - I hope the immune tx will help you achieve your dream, sounds like you've had a rough time but look at Carmela, she has had many miscarriages but now immune tx has given her twins!! don't give up!
Marly - that will do me then! one good blasto is all I need - pls stick around!!!!! I hope you can sort out a C section if that's what suits the baby at the time, I think if you just calmly let whoever know exactly what you have been through to get pregnant, I dare them to disagree with you!!
Carmela - hope you are well and thanks for the good luck - I soooo need it!!!
Laylar - You poor thing you sound really down - just remember you are not alone. We really tried for 2 years without so much as a peep of a positive preg test. like you i'm a doctor and therefore had read everything i could get my hands on about infertility and Tx before I went to the ARGC (lucky for me I found out about the ARGC before i started so didn't go anywhere else)
As far as IUI goes they offered us that or IVF/ICSI - i decided to let Mr T decide what would give me the best chance as I was 37 then. Mr T chose IVF/ICSI. As far as the details of Tx go I let him make all the decisions as he's the expert and I was willing to do whatever it takes. I'm sure as a medic you will have done a thorough literature search of all aspects of Tx and you will see that there are very few large, well conducted trials of immune treatment or indeed many other aspects of Tx. It does seem though that in women who have no other obvious cause especially those with recurrent early MC immune issues are a likely cause.
The way I look at it is that the results speak for themselves - you are in the best place possible.
one other thing that a wise friend told me is that you shouldn't look upon tx as a one hit wonder - you may well need 2 or more goes to get it right.
By the way anyone who can lose 6 stone must be a pretty tough cookie and capable of some major positive thinking so i'm sure you have the strength to do this.
I hope DHs dad gets better soon
Lisa - hang in there - isn't it typical that all your friends get pregnant just as you are at your lowest? also feeling that you will never get pregnant is also normal it soon goes away once you get a BFP. Its really exciting you are starting Tx soon - good luck for the next month or two. Not everyone feels bad on DRing so don't dread it too much.
Layla - I felt exactly the same as you before starting treatment - really apprehensive and quite negative about it working and very worried about how I'd feel if it didn't work. I know we've been really lucky and I count my lucky stars that we had such great news last week but I totally feel the ARGC had a lot to do with it, you are definitely in the right place! I also kept thinking why us when people around us were falling pregnant like there's no tomorrow, one even in the middle of my having treatment which was an accident!!!! Of all things! But one thing I'll always remember is my reflexologist saying to me 'that's because you have the strength to get through this when other people wouldn't' which has definitely stuck in my head, and like Marly says, if you have the will to lose 6 st the treatment will be a piece of cake for you I think getting going is probably the hardest part of all, once you start it will fly by and then hopefully at the end of it you will be getting the best news in the world! Hang in there, you can do it!!!
Lisa - same goes for you hun, best of luck and will keep everything crossed for you! I was also the last of my friends to get pregnant but it can and it WILL happen!!!!
Claire and Joanna - hang in there both of you, keep thinking positive and orange
Nikki - how are you? Hope you're doing well and not feeling too sick!
Hi to all the other girls! Hope you're all fine and had a nice weekend!
I'm doing good, just been to London for bloods so hope levels still rising. I think I met the butcher today cos my arm was gushing out blood as I was leaving so had to go back in - was a little scary!!! Think my veins have had it!
Hi Lisa- sorry the old witch arrived. your feeling you are having are perfectly normal and i was just saying to someone else that before my first ivf tx that i dissolved completely and sat on a step in Harley St, pouring my eyes out over the phone to my mum, saying i didn't know if i could do it and take all the drugs. it felt like i was at the bottom of a mountain and didnt know if i had the resources to even take the first step, never mind getting to the top, maybe to have to roll down again/ there are no certainties that is for sure and if someone said 'ok you will have t do it 3 times before it works then you would and that is the awful thing- you never know if this is the one. the thing for sure is that you are in the best hands with Mr t who leaves no stone unturned to make it happen and even if this one fails you will have more info to go fwd and best case it will all be worth it in the long run when you have your baby, or even get a bfp. try not to panic and think of it in one or two week stages-don't know if this helps, but the way i figured is i could cope with anything for that period of time and just grit my teeth and bear it. the drugs didn't really have that bad side effects apart form viagra- got headaches, but they went after 4 days. we are all here to lift your spirits when the going get tough and sounds like you may have some reat cycle buddies. the only other option is not to try at all, and from the sounds of it doesn't seem like the option for you at the minute. it is a real leap of faith- in yourself to cope and you will.
Joanna- i had no symptoms, so stay positive- you never can tell.
Layla- i would go with mr t advice and i am sure you will get his take on things re IUI or ivf. we had unexplained and did many iui natural and on medication. for us- i wish we had tried ivf sooner and started the first one as diagnostic at the very least to see egg quality etc, but i dare say if iui had worked and i had stayed PG last year after it then i would be singing its praises as yes it is less money, drugs and time, although only a couple of weeks shorter. we just wanted to increase our stats success rates, but everyone's situation is different. good luck and trust mr t.- this is really hard i know , believe me i am someone who questions everything, but you have to try and let go of the medical worry and give it over to the expert, but of course ask questions to be in the know and calm you mind. hope you both feel better tomorrow.
well done BB- great news!!
Alli- hope today went well. i got that an outpouring of blood too once when i lifted my bag with the arm that was needled. hope it stopped anyway and you didnt blled you way back home. we must all look like addict sometimes with the injections marks... sent you an IM.
Good luck to all the other 2ww girls- hangin there.
back in tomorrow for next scan 2! GULP.(keep seeing those single bloody magpies Lisa- but trying to remember what you said each time!)
I just wanted to ask if anyone else felt spaced out on Suprecur? I just feel plain knackered and a bit 'not with it'. Have had to have naps in the day (luckily work from home so hope no one calls for that half hour!) since Fri. Is this normal? I had the other one, Synarel or whatever it's called last IVF and I don't remember feeling squiffy like this. Feel a tad weird!
I'm not sure if it's just me feeling a bit wiped out generally though. Would be good to hear if anyone else experienced the same symptoms.
Lisa - hope you're feeling a bit more upbeat now. There is no magic formula to this I don't think, I mean coping. It is difficult seeing what looks like everyone else on the planet multiplying by the day and still no baby in my arms. For one reason and another I've been trying for 12 years (divorce in there as a result of ex husband not being able to cope) and now I'm back to giving it another shot with new partner and it does feel like it'll never happen sometimes. But it an odd way, if it doesn't, I don't think it would be quite the end of my world anymore, it just means I'll have to think up a different ending to the one I had planned. I can quite see myself as a mad old biddy shacked up with 92 cats. Still in the meantime, deep breath and think positive. So I hope you're feeling a bit more chipper now. I do believe what all the girls are saying too, when I first met Mr T I really did have a gut feel that if anyone can help me he can. Generally I trust very few people (old cynic!!) but as far as my chances of getting preggers are concerned I'm happy to hand that over to him - he made quite an impression on me.
Abbey - how exciting for scan no 2 - how are you feeling?
For everyone else I hope you're all OK - please forgive the inability to scan through and mention one by one as I currently feel like I've been at the gin!!Very odd
Marly - glad all is well with your not so little bubba
Good on you, stick to your guns! You have been through so much to get where you are, you deserve to give birth the way you want.
Lisa - it is very natural to feel the way you do.
After my 5th MC i was convinced i had done something so bad in life that i did not deserve to be a mum and never would be one.
Even now at 27 weeks it has not sunk in and i wonder everyday if this is really going to happen for me.
Being your 1st time you do not know what to expect, so it is even more nerve wracking. We are all here to help you through the ups and downs. At the end of the day all you can do is try, you should be proud of yourself that you have confronted your problems and you are brave enough to do something about them. Wishing you so much luck
Joanna - glad you are feeling better today. The 2ww is a killer and it is only natural that your emotions are all over the place. Remember nothing is set in stone and there is no reason why this should not work for you.
The girls at the clinic have been diamonds, they all seem to know me even the ones i don't deal with.
Claire - hope Marlys post made you feel more positive about things and to quote you " don't give up"
Layla - thank you for the lovely complement.
We cannot be positive about things all the time, we have all been through so much that it moulds you into this worrying individual, including our DHs.
It is only natural to have down days but as long as you can talk about your worries (we are always here to listen and try and help) you find it lifts your spirits and you soon start to be more positive.
It is very very scary to put yourself mentally and physically through TX because there are no guarantees at the end. But that does not mean it is not possible, if you do TX with the immune treatments with MR T you are doing the best you can.
I would let MR T take charge of things but ask as many questions as you like to help you along. Wishing you so much luck.
Alli - good luck for your results
GM - hope you are ok and the clinic has given you another scan date.
Firstly big apologises from me for throwing a hissy fit the other day I was feeling really low and lonely as apart from you lot and Brian I have noone to talk to . I do have Crystal,Flick and Farah but sometimes the four of us need to talk about different things. Oh well am of to the Dr in a while to get the forms for my hep b and all that.
Thank you who replied to me and IM me and also left me their phone numbers really lovely of you.
Joanna I had the shakes and felt faint and was told it was the dreaded ritrodine (not looking forward to taking that every 6 hours) hope your feeling better now sweetie and are feeling more positive.Now have you got orange jim jams ? well you need them to keep your positive thoughts going as this will be the one for you babe.I have a pair and feel grealt wearing them
Georgia - please don't apologise if anyone has the right to have a hissy fit it is you.
I admire the way you are always so strong and so cheerful.
It seems there is something in the air again because too many of you lovely ladies are feeling down. So i will try to scare that something away so you will all wake up tomorrow feeling better.
Abbey/Carmella - You really are an inspiration and very encouraging - thanks ! I too have been feeling very down today, especially going back to work after a week off and a sleepless night (damn neighbour's party). I have also started spotting this afternoon, but am not due to test till Wednesday and am not feeling very hopeful . This is my first attempt and sometimes I feel I have no right to expect it to work first time when some of you have been through so much, but I am scared it won't as I feel I have left it too late to keep trying for years. Why does no one tell you to stop wasting time and get on with it ??!?! We have known that dh's swimmers would need ICSI for many years (he had mumps as an adolescent), but didn't think my age would be an issue !
Enough about me ! Good luck to everyone else on 2ww and where ever you are in your tx.
Georgia/Joanna - I am on Ritrodine too, and have been feeling a bit dizzy and light headed. Felt quite shaky today too, so have come home to "work from home" - yeah right, have been on FF site instead !! At least it has made me feel better
Lorri - i am sorry to read your post. It may be hard for you to have any hope left but i am sure you must have read how many of the girls had spotting at the beginning and still got a +ve. I know the way you are feeling nothing any one is going to say will make you feel better but please do not give up until your test on WEDS.
Have everything crossed for you