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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone.  Hope I am posting this in the right place.

I went for my embryo transfer today and it was awful.  I have 6 embies which are good and they picked 2 to put back which were grades 1/2 and one was a 4 cell and the other was dividing to an 8 cell. 
:)

Anyway, my consultant was really rude and I was really tense and in tears  :'( and he really hurt me when he put the speculum up me and was (or at least it felt like) he was jamming up me and it was agony.  :mad:  He then pulled it out and said he couldnt do it and he even told one of the nurses to shut up.  I am having to go back tomorrow for a sedative to have it done and feel like such a failure.

I was sobbing as it was hurting so much and he didnt offer any explanation or tell me what he was doing during the procedure.  When he pulled it out he then had a conversation with me with my legs in the stirrups and nothing covering me - humiliating.  :-[  I just wondered if anyone else had problems at this stage and if anyone had words of advice.  Not too sure what to do about my consulant but have requested someone else does it tomorow which is happening.

Cant believe I had got to this stage only for it all to go wrong  :'(
 

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just wanted to say you poor thing  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ havent been in that position myself so cannot relate to it hurting you that much  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^

i am so sorry you had to go through that it must have been heartbreaking for you both the only upside is you can go back tomorrow and someone else will be doing it and under sedation so hopefully it will be a better experience for you xxxxxxxxxx good luck tomorrow  ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^
 

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oh I'm so sorry, poor poor you. I had an awful IUI once (at Chelsea dn westminster - was that yours?) which is extra ridiculous as IUI should be so easy and I writhed in agony for ours afterwards. Thanks Dr!!!

also, WHY do they insist on holding conversations when we are not exactly on equal speaking terms, shall we say? honestly, they are weirdos some of them.

look after yourself tonight, tell the dr tomorrow all about it and check they use correct speculum etc. first go. it sounds very much to me like he/she was completly useless and panicked, hence the shouting at nurses. he/she might also go on about how weird your anatomy is, hence all the surgical problems - mine did and it took about 7 other drs contradicting him till I realised he was just a completely useless twit.

poor you, tomorrow should be a piece of cake. please don't worry.
xxxx
 

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Oh Libeth you poor thing that sounds awful ^hugme^ what a horrible man.  As cooter says tomorrow you will be under sedation hun and I'm sure it will be a  lot better for you - also with another day later it might even help them to choose the best embryos even better if you see what I mean - which will give you a better chance of a BFP.  I have only had ET once and it was quite painful for me too but the consultant was very nice and that makes a huge difference.  Don't beat yourself up sweetie and definitely don't feel like a failure - if anyone is a failure it's that horrible consultant who frankly should be ashamed of himself.  I really hope it works for you hun.  ^hugme^

love SarahP xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi
Thanks for the replies.  The consulatant was just so rude and DH was really cross with him.  I know its an undignified procedure but its not helped by consultants like that!  Not too sure if we can name individuals on this site because I suspect he has been like that to other women because the nurse said to me after that he has a poor bedside manner.  I am at Care in Manchester and up till now its been great.

xx
 

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Libeth

still no excuse for being like that with you both  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ maybe after all this has settled down and you have got your BFP you could complain  :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
 

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it's appalling.

really appalling.

NHS or private?

if private, i'd change cons IMMEDIATELY and if NHS i'd speak to head of unit and complain. (hope he's not head of unit!). completlely inappropriate treatment. it's also a sort of disgusting bullying weirdly as well, speaking to people who are weaker at that moment than he was.

but take heart from my experiences - agony, and i mean agony, IUI followed by completely painfree one by next dr.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hi
I am egg sharing so am not paying the full amount but its enough.  I think he is one of the top dogs there.  He has always been curt whenever I have seen him but I dont want to complain and then have them not treat me or something.  I am glad its a different consulant tomorrow though doing it.
 

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LIbeth - it's soo much better under sedation. I had a horrible transfer where they tried and tried for half an hour before managing to get through!  Trust me, it's MUCH easier and less painful under sedation.
Good luck
C
x
 

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i'd speak to them quietly and calmly - and state it wasn't appropriate. end of story.
you need someone you like and trust in this process.
by the way if you are egg sharing, do you realise you are very very valuable to them?
xxxx
 

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i was going to say complain and refuse to have it done by the same doctor ^bigbad^ some of them dont understand how rough they can be.good luck for tomorrow ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^


hayley
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Am definately feeling a bit better about it all now.  I got 20 eggs so its no wonder my ovaries are sore but he just didnt seem to comprehend that.  Then at the end of it all he says they are as sensitive as testicles.  Well he wants to try having them enlarged so I cant get in any clothes and then pushed on from an ultrasound on my tum and being pushed at internally.  Grrr.  Am trying to relax about it all now but hopefully the sedative will go ok.  Had a general for my EC (thankfully!)  Am still nervous about it as never been sedated so hopefully I will loose my embarrassment and open my legs and not wriggle in pain!
 

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20 eggs is amazing, 10 each.

quite frankly they're making a lot of money out of you!!!

do you know how much your recipient ie charged? gazillions.

it's an awful way to put it but it's true. they should be falling over themselves to be nice!!

but right now the only thing that matters is for you to get a good sleep and go back calmly. it will be fine, esp with the sedative. xxxx

 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Hi anna the third
To be honest I have no idea how much the reciprient has to pay but I know it will have been a lot.  Am feeling a lot happier now so going to go and put my feet up and relax!  Then its the ET tomorrow at 8.30am so hopefully I will be able to report back that it all went smoothly!

xx
 

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Hi

I am so sorry that you have had such an awful experience  ^eyes^ 

If you are still feeling unhappy about the whole experience from today then you could consider putting in a complaint about him.

I hope tomorrow goes more smoothly for you  ^reiki^  ^reiki^  ^reiki^

x x x x x
 

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^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^


i hope it is better tomorrow what an awful man xxxxx

nat
 

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How awful for you  ^hugme^  Some Dr's just don't understand how painful it can be. Can't you complain anonymously so then at least they know the Dr is not nice? I hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you and your embies snuggle in tight!

Surferchick xxx
 

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Hi Libeth
best of luck for tomorrow, hope it all goes well!!!  You should write a letter to the hospital 'making them aware of his bedside manner' and of how he made you feel, he shouldn't be allowed to make you or any other woman feel so bad. ^bigbad^
^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ for your ET  ^hugme^ ^hugme^
G x x
 

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Just wanted to wish you for today.

x x x
 
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