[queenie123]

Hi All, 

I'm due end of April and felt that there are a few people who might want to join a chat about things pregnancy related around that time, especially as NCT classes are online at the moment.

 

[snowdropwood]

Hi,

I have neglected FF recently but yes i am 18.5  weeks ish, due April and glad to find a thread as i was going to post question/s anyway so really pleased there is a thread  . I am seeing consultant this week then 20 weeks scan next week , and seem to be expanding a bit, slight back and front aches, feeling extremely unfit as have neglected walks and exercise completely which needs to change !  I am interested in whether it is common not to feel movement/ flutters etc as this point  and if people can describe where they feel them in the abdomen and what they feel like when they first start please ?

yes the NCT in January is on line , i am solo and had DD IVF so feel extrememtly challenged by the lack of connections in person / groups, i am so weary of being single in every conceivable way but there is no answer to that other than it is the way things are , but with lock downs, social distancing, no groups , work being cancelled etc etc I have to say that i have never been this isolated and it does not feel healthy!  I dont think that society / community/ economy / mental health can take much more of this !    I have just received some oils and a pregnancy book for my birthday so looking forward to some relax time with that .

The midwifes appointments seem to be in person atm, it would be great to hear from others, esp if anyone else has received donor egg / sperm as I would be really interested how things are in terms of the processing of donor conception and recommendations of books etc.  I have signed up for the DCN workshop next year ( which is also on line rather than a meet up in London ) x

 

[queenie123]

Hi - So nice to hear from you, I am 17 wks today.  It's all v exciting isn't it, and a bit surreal honestly,  I am not sure I truely believed this would happen and now feel unprerared.

I am growing too - I find there is only enough room for half my previous food or I throw it up. Hoping that will stop me growing too much from fat rather than baby.  In my hospital waiting room there was an advert for secretsaviours a system to prevent strech marks, so I'm trying that. 

I also spend the first frimester terrifyed that I would do something to cause a problem, so neglected all my normal exercise - I'm a bit frustrated,  I had just started yoga and swimming again and then lockdown-2 happened, but yes I'm also very aware that cardio-vascular exercise is needed to be strong enough to have an easier labour.  Figuring out how it can be done from home isn't always easy.  Maybe we can organise an online pregnancy yoga session?

I found at 16 wks, I was overwhelmed by a sense of loss - which is bizzare as I am making a new life, but It's mainly for all the embryo's we have lots along the way, that I never grieved for.  I am worried about accepting that this is real and being able to attach with the new baby, and I am wondering repressed grief might make that more tricky,  I'm thinking of having a mini funeral service for our lost embryo's to mark the loss.  It's strange, when you are in the middle of the treatment (for me at least) I put off dealing with it as otherwise it would have been too much of a rolercoaster.

I'm sorry you are on your own  - I am frequently upset that neither DH or I have any parents to speak of, and so I feel that we will be on our own.  It's good to remember we have each other, but our little one won't have any grandparents, and that makes me sad.  Does mum's net have other local groups for DD?  I know friends of ours have adopted, and there is a whole adoption community (different I know).

 

[snowdropwood]

HI Queenie,  Thanks for suggestion re Mums net , i will look up. Also it resonated very much about grief coming up in pregnancy, which might sound counter intuitive , and the way you framed it ( that during the ongoing rollercoaster of treatment it is too painful to fully process the losses as you have to keep going ) really made sense for me.  I have had very deep, grief experiences lately which are helping me to move forward to hopefully being Mum and a family life in which we do not have genetic connections but hopefully a lot of love . I like the idea of 'marking' our losses and is something i have thought about too recently. best wishes xx

 

[queenie123]

Hey, 

Just to update you I had my 20wk scan yesterday, and largely all good - little boy alive and kicking in there!
Unfortunately I have a few markers for higher risk which, means more scans and monitoring!  Isn't it annoying that some of the reasons it is tricky to get pregnancy are also possible probelms for babies development?
Anyway,  I had stopped the beetroot and pomegranate smoothies after the first trimester - now back on them again, as well as the asprin and heprin - yeah for sticky blood!  As if we need more things to worry about having had such a long journey to get here!

 

[queenie123]

Hey - so getting closer now,  32wk scan yesterday and going OK, although dropping a little off the growth curve, nothing too allarming. 

How is it going?

 

[snowdropwood]

hi,  i have not been on this page but just to say hi - i am 36 weeks now via double donor IVF  - it has been so isolating in  the lock down and i have almost lost the plot on numerous occassions ! however the spring warmth is cheering me up and am so grateful to be where i am now after so many years of treatments . i have found the DCN, donor conception network so helpful with the donor issues too.  Things feel surreal and i am pretty weepy, but so grateful.    We are all warriers !  xxx