[Anon-E-Mouse]

I wonder if someone could please help me

Our little girl is now 4 weeks old & for the past 4 nights we  have been having major problems at with her breast feeding every hour, dropping asleep on the nipple & then after 2 minutes of being moved to her moses basket or onto her back in bed with us she awakes & screams the house down.  I do not think she has colic as no sign of knees to chest or pain - just 'anger' & frustration.  If I were to offer her the breast she would suckle for comfort for a few minutes & fall asleep again but the same pattern would then continue. 

My HV has advised that following a feed I then just put her down & let her cry.  I am attempting this tonight for the first time but it is breaking my heart - she is just so small & I want to comfort her.  if I were to pick her up she wouldstart rooting for the nipple - so to me this implies she is still hungry - but yet has recently fed.  She is winded & has a clean nappy

I am so confused & also slightly delirious due to lack of sleep now.

Any advice welcome = please

Best wishes

 

[*Bev*]

I just noticed you'd had no replies so thought i'd bump it up for you, I have no idea about breastfeeding but perhaps your DD is suckling for comfort, rather than food?  She routes for the nipple because it comforts her?!  You can tell I failed to breast feed    I'm not sure if its recommended or not but could you try a dummy, if only to rule out whether its comfort or food she wants?

I'm sure this is of no help... but hope that someone will come along with words of wisdom soon.

Bev xx

 

[sallywags]

I had this with M - but with her it is because she was hungry.  I wasn't producing enough milk for her unfortunately.

Is she having a good feed at night, or does she only have little sucks before she falls asleep?  My HV suggested stripping her off and sort of poking her awake to make sure she feeds properly so she can go to sleep on a full tummy!

Bev's suggestion isn't a daft one if you are not averse to a dummy - as it will show you if she is hungry or just after comfort.

I do know how you feel hun - M fed every 1-1.5 hours for about 2 months!  it does get easier.

big hugs

 

[~ Chux ~]

Personally I wouldn't leave a 4 week old to cry and am surprised your HV suggested it. It could well be hunger - can you try keeping her awake to feed longer by tickling her feet, stripping her off, blowing on her face etc? Otherwise I'm with Bev and Sallywags in that she may just be a sucky baby and you are her dummy mummy!! I don't know how you feel about dummies but I would certainly give one a try if you don't have a problem with them.

Chux xx

 

[~Sapphire~]

Hi,

I had this problem when my little girl was first born.  If it is just comfort as it was with our DD then do you have someone else that would be able to get up to her in the night.  I found that if DH got up to comfort her she wasn't constantly looking for the nipple as she couldn't smell the milk.  He would get up to her if it had not been long since her last feed and get her back fo to sleep.  We only had to do this two nights (much to DH's relief!) and then she started sleeping at least four hours between feeds.

Hope you find a solution that suits you.

 

[cruelladeville]

Hi

Just wanted to say I agree with Chux ... letting a 4 week old cry is not on in my books-PLEASE don't do that!

Mine did this too - sucked for comfort and still does....it's a hard habit to break!  What about a dummy?

 

[janinec]

mine did this too, and it was hunger - i also did the feed, and when she dropped off to sleep - wake her up by changing nappy and talking etc. when she woke up fed her again, so she had more and then when she fell back asleep let her sleep and this helped get the gaps between feeding up to about 90 minutes and this got longer as she older, I also think 4 weeks is WAY to young to leave her to cry
best wishes xxxx

 

[Anon-E-Mouse]

Thank you for your replies    Goog advice

We have been changing inbetween feeeds to try & get more milk in before she falls asleep.

We have had slightly better nights (went 3 hours) & i have not resorted to either formula, dummy or controlled crying -i am opposed to this too sounds too much like the Gina Ford school of parenting whereas I am tryng to be more baby led.

Just need to master the transition of movement from breast to moses bsket/rocker without waking & having to resettle now

Best wishes

Anon
xxx

 

[~ Chux ~]

I have to disagree on formula or dummies not being baby led - some babies just aren't full on breastmilk and need topping up for whatever reason and some are just sucky babies who find comfort in sucking hence having a dummy. I would consider both to be baby led as it's listening to what your baby needs and following their lead.

Glad you have had a bit of a breakthrough though.

Chux xx

 

[Caz]

Anon-E -Mouse, I have to say at 4 weeks, 3 hours between feeds sounds marvelous, especially for a breast fed baby where they tends to digest it so much quicker and take small but often. I remember the early days I once worked out I spent about 12 hours out of every 24 with my boob in his mouth. Nobody ever really prepares you for that.
You could probably also expect her to want to be held quite a bit - she's just come from a nice tight, warm snuggly place and putting her into a big wide open cot - or even moses basket is a huge amount of room around her. B had to be held to sleep for the first couple of months but, thankfully, did settle when i put him down which I largely put down to the fact I swaddled. You could try that? Swaddling? Probably not the weather for it I know but if you did so in a light muslin or sheet and kept the room cool maybe she'd get all the comfort of being held nice and tight and manage the transition from your arms to crib better.
I would also add that I was vehemently anti dummy, having watched friends and relatives struggle to get their kids to give them up (my 3 1/2 year old neice still has one) I was determined not to go that route but, I was given one in a bag of freebies from Avent and, in desperation one night when B would not stop crying and nothing seemed to be wrong, I stuck it in his mouth and....ahhh, bliss! He wasn't hungry, or cold, or hot or smelly; he just wanted to suck something. He slept and I slept and in all, I think that alone means it can't be a bad thing for baby can it?
After that iI was a complete dummy convert but, as it happened B never really took to it and the sucky phase didn't last long so he gave it up completely at about 9 months.

Lots of luck and hope you manage to get her down to sleep soon.

C~x

 

[Anon-E-Mouse]

Hi chux

,y point was that controlled crying was not baby led-sorry for the misunderstanding

 

[~ Chux ~]

LOL anon - couldn't agree more in that case.

Chux xx

 

[sueoz]

Hey I know everyone tells you not to hold a baby to sleep - bad habits and all that... but my theory is you can break them of it a bit later and try to settle them to sleep other ways in the daytime, but at night can you try holding her for about 20 mins until she is in a deep sleep before doing the transfer? You can also put a hot water bottle in the moses basket where her head will go, then remove so the sheet is nice and warm and she still thinks she's being held. Just an idea.

My DD did what you are describing every night from about 5pm til MN/1am ish for quite a long time but have to say, once she was down she was down and slept 7 hrs a night from 7 weeks and went up an hour a night each week until 13 hrs (bedtime gradually creeping forwards too)! She did so much feeding and sucking before midnight she was then done til the morning!

Good luck!

Sue