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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi

I'm 27 weeks pregnant with twins and finding it really hard to cope and they're not even born yet! I had PND after I had my daughter and I just feel like it's happening again already!! I feel so ungrateful as we've had 2 ICSI's and 2 BFP's, so I should be ecstatic but this pregnancy has really taken it out of me as it's been a worry all the way through. I've had bleeding right through my first trimester (no reason ever found) and then ended up in hospital over the weekend as they thought I'd lost my mucus plug and wanted to check things were okay. That has really unnerved me and even though they think it was all due to thrush I can't stop thinking there's a problem! I can't seem to relax and feel constantly tearful, stressed and on edge. I'm petrified that I'm going to go into preterm labour and loose them both. There's loads to do round the house and I'm completely demotivated and can't bring myself to do anything and then stress because nothings ready. DD is lovely and really good but I'm aware I'm constantly snapping at her and now she tends to go to her Dad rather than me if she's upset or has a problem, which upsets me too. On top of all this my Mum has severe depression and has needed loads of support recently which obviously I don't mind giving but I feel emotionally drained by it all and my Sister is going in for an eye operation around the time the babies are due and won't be able to drive for 6 weeks. I just feel like my support network is falling to pieces and am scared about how I'm going to cope with twins and DD on my own. My DH is fantastic and a very practical 'hands on' Dad but he will only be home for the first 3 weeks and then goes back to work and travels abroad a lot with his job. I have plenty of friends but they have their families to look after so don't want to put on them. I'm getting to the stage where I don't feel at all sociable and could quite happily stay in all day and hide under the duvet, which I know will only make it worse!
So sorry to whinge but has anyone else felt like this?? I feel like I'm going down a slippery slope and can't stop! xx
 

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First of all ^hugme^    I felt exactly like you when I was pregnant with Josh & Phoebe and used to have sleepless nights worrying about how I would cope.  My DH used to work away four days a week and did so for the first 13 weeks of their lives.    He left that company as he wasn't happy being away so much and is now at home at least of a night with just the occasional night out now, although he works very long days.  I didn't really enjoy my pregnancy either - constantly worrying if they were alright, would I go into preterm labour etc.  I had a huge bleed at 12 weeks and it really freaked me out.    There are lots and lots of twins that are okay and in fact all the worrying I did and they had to induce me at 38 weeks so I freaked myself out for nothing.  They were good weights too, needed no special care and I was home the same day.

I could of written your post several months ago in so many ways.  I had a very dear friend who sadly died two months before my twins were due - she was like a second mother to me as my family is 70 miles away from me and I felt like things were crumbling.  DH's mum used to come down and help me with ironing but then she had a brain haemorrhage and I just felt like everyone who was a help to me was being taken away.  Anyway, enough about me.

What about using Homestart to give you a hand?  Your DD will probably love the chance to help her mummy too..passing nappies and little jobs like that.  What about maybe getting a childcare student too?  We've got a lovely girl coming to help us who is a mature student and looking for a little bit of work and I plan to do things like getting some 1 to 1 with Hollie or maybe going for a swim for me and I won't feel guilty or that we're putting on her as she is paid help.   

Do take as much help as is offered to you, particularly the early weeks and don't feel bad about it either.  Talk to DH as well about it so that you don't get on that slippery slope.   

Keep posting and letting us know how you are.  You are far from alone in this..been there ^hugme^

Louise xx

 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks to you both ^hugme^ ^hugme^

I feel a bit better today about the babies as things seem to have settled down ^pray^. I see my Consultant tomorrow and will have a scan. I'm a bit nervous about it but hopefully it'll reassure me a bit more. Luckily for me my Consultant is lovely and she has already picked up on the PND and written in big letters to keep an eye on me this time round. I will definitely talk to the HV about any help that's available and look into Homestart. I will also try and talk to DH too but I feel like (and I know this sounds stupid) I'm putting extra stress on him, which is ridiculous I know as he's my Husband! I just feel like I'm failing him and DD, which is how I felt last time ::) I'm quite tired, hormonal and irrational at the moment! I've got my Mum coming over tomorrow to pick DD up from school as I'll be at the Hospital and to be honest I'm dreading it as she's such hard work at the moment. We've always been very close and I feel terrible about feeling like this but just can't take the negativity anymore. This has been going on for over 5 months now and it's only recently my Sister and Brother have started to help out with her.
Will let you know how the scan goes. Thanks again for listening and helping me feel I'm not alone in all this.  ^hugme^
 

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Slinky ^hugme^  I had PND with Isabel but they never really noted for this time. I feel like i'm failing Isabel and DH and so so tired it doesn't help
 

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Slinky - How did you get on at the hospital yesterday.  Did it help to reassure you?  :)

Louise xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Aaww I don't think anything going to reassure me at the moment Louise!! The scan was fine and no one's worried about my recent plug issues except me! I'm now convinced I'm leaking amniotic fluid into the bargin despite all the reassurances I'm not!  ::) My Mum went home today and rang me to say she was home ok but was crying over the phone because she's so worried about me. She's meant to be going on holiday next week but doesn't want to because she's concerned something will happen to me and the babies. I was left feeling guilty for having told her there was a problem!!

julia xx
 

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You just can't win sometimes with mums - wrong if you don't but then wrong if you do.  I told my mum the other day I'd gone on tablets and she sounded so upset :(  She's got a week off the week I start back at work so she's since told me that she's coming over to help me pack us all off for the day (DH will long have left for work) which is brill but it takes me to be out of sorts to get some help.

Glad your scan was fine.  I was worried too that I was leaking roundabout 28 weeks, got myself off worked up about it mentioned it at the scan and they were some laxydasical about it and just shrugged their shoulders said everything looked fine and said it was probably my pelvic floor.  Awww charming you mean Im wetting myself ;D

It will be ironic that you'll get to 38 weeks and they'll have to induce you and then you'll think what did I worry for ;D

Right best get sorted to pick Hollie up from nursery.  Have a nice weekend

Louise xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I should have said on the plus side I've decided to ask a friend of mine, who's a childminder, to have Meg before and after school if I have to go into hospital or the twins arrive early. Her DD id in the same class as mine, so it's ideal. That way DH can go to work after dropping her off and can pick her up later, it also means I'm not relying/putting on anyone as we'll pay her to do it. Have to say it's a huge relief as I've been worrying about Meg and this way she gets looked after and can play with one of her friends too! I was just saying to one of the other Mum's at school today that after all this worry I'll end up still plodding around like a huge whale at 39 weeks!  ;D

Have a good weekend honey  ^hugme^

Julia x
 
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