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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Girls,

I need to talk to you about a delicate subject....

My husband and i havent had  ^BMS^ since we got our long awaited BFP. I have heard that sperm can weaken the cervix, i have also read that and orgasm makes the womb contract...  i am so scared that we might disturb the baby ! Also, i am not feeling the urge, my breast are so sore i can hardly bear to take my bra off let alone have them touched in any way  ^scared^

How is everyone else getting on with pregnancy and sex ? i feel sorry for DH not getting any........

Bell xx
 

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I'm so glad I'm not the only one!  ;D We've sort of said we might consider getting jiggy again if we get safely past the first trimester/scan etc...but deep down I'm even doubtful about that! I think I can cope without (just...some things/people/LOs are more important and I'd never forgive myself if anything happened, whether it was related or not!) There are other things you can do too...if you feel like it!  ;)

Maybe we'll feel different in the 2nd trimester...but don't worry, you are definitely not alone! There are loads of people who still are very active in that department, but you've got to do what feels right for you both..

Alice xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the reply Alice,

I see we are both around the same dates, thats great ! congratulations by the way, double trouble... great news !

I have got an appointment on monday for another scan, i am really worried, i always get worried before the scans ! worrying seems to be the nature of pregnancy it seems !

I am still giving hubby some "special treats"  ;) now and again but he is missing the intimacy of sex, he doesnt pressure me though which is good, it seems i just pressure myself !!

Bell xx
 

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That sounds familiar...we are lucky they're so supportive aren't we!

I know what you mean about scans...I've got my 12weeker tomorrow and I'm absolutely bricking it...my last one was four weeks ago and my symptoms have eased somewhat so I'm scared that the bubs won't be there or that they won't have grown etc etc...

Come join us on the 1st trimester thread!

Alice xx
 

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Perhaps you need to read about a bit more?
I only read positive things about sex in pg so we were well away!
We used gentle positions and DH was gentle thrusting of course - but he isnt very er... well ... "dangerous" down there anyway!

I read that the increased blood flow, energy and happy hormones do baby the world of good.  I never read any of the negatives you have found - so it might be a case of doing some more reserach.

If you are nervous, it might be an idea to wait until your 12 week check.  Are you having your scan?  After 12 weeks pregnancies are massively more stable and there is far less that can go wrong.  Also in your middle trimester you will have more energy and feel less delicate. You might start to feel the urge again.

Don't feel too sorry for DH - this is about you too (I know that is easier said than done - I am always giving in when Id rather sleep!). Have you told him how you feel?

Also talk to your MW - dont be embarrased it is one of the most common questions they get asked!
x
 

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Banana Girl said:
Perhaps you need to read about a bit more?
I only read positive things about sex in pg so we were well away!
We used gentle positions and DH was gentle thrusting of course - but he isnt very er... well ... "dangerous" down there anyway!
;D ;D ;D

I'm sure he'd be overjoyed that you shared that with us hun!!!! ;D

We eased off after i found out for a few weeks as i had lots of bleeding, but after that we resumed to 'normality' - probably less than normal really!

I had heard the good things about happy hormones and blood supply too - so was never unduly worried!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks Banana Girl, i will speak to my Gynae on Monday when i have my next appointment...

Alice, good luck tomorrow, i am sure that everything will be just fine, i have a serious lack of symptoms too ( apart from boobs that feel like the weight of bricks ! ) the sickness has gone and the tiredness but i think thats because the 12th week has arrived and we will start to feel more human from now onwards ! please PM me and let me know how you get on... thinking of you...  :)

Bell xx
 

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Thanks Bananagirl and Sallywags

I bet your DH thinks he's 'dangerous'...don't they all!  ^roflmao^

We also had lots of bleeding dramas (I mean dramas with bleeding...not using 'bleeding' as an expletive!  ;D ;D) which I guess has made us a little more nervous too.

That's kind of what I thought which is why I guess we're so hesitant at the moment...the major heartburn/hiccups is always a little bit of a turn off too!  ;D

12 week scan tmw...so maybe after that we can get back down to business...

A xx
 

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Thanks Bell...will let you know how it goes!

x
 

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we havent done the deed since my son was conceived and he is 6wks old now, poor dh  ;D ;D ;D ;D.  i was nervous wreck through my pg
after delivering a 9lb11 baby it is the furthest thing from my mind with that and sleepless nights.  get it in while you can

strawbs xx
 

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I've got to say I would get back on the horse  ;) sooner rather than later, with my first pregnancy we were told to abstain due to bleeding in 1st trimester and afterward would be fine, we never did and when we got round to it afterward we realised it had been 20 months!!  We've not had that much this time but i've been trying to keep it a bit regular, even if I don't fancy it!!

Bev xx
 

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Hiya

try not to worry im 16+3 with twins and we have had some reg sex and tones of the big Orgsm since week 4 didnt before that and its not affected me sorry if thts to much info just wanted to put your mind at rest but if you dont feel like it thats fine 2 my mate had twins and they havent had a bonk since she found out she was preg and that was a year ago she said she would rather stick her head in boiling water than have sex ........ah well i cant agree with her but good luck sweetie hope it goes well for you xx
 

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well ive found this very interesting im only almost 6weeks so very early on ive been to worried to have full on sex but we have had fun in other ways  ;D ;D ;D also i think that after my 12w scan i would carry on as normal, i must say that i have read 'whats good for mum is good for baby' but have also heard about people who have been told not to have sex.

i think that as long as you go steady after 12w you should be fine its the most natural thing in the world, but its a personal choice !!

natalie
 

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i had it from 6-20 weeks then after 20 weeks episode had a show and consultant told me no more  :( we had already been warned we'd be banned from 24 weeks as its a twin preg and i had premature rupture of membranes with my DD.  So i now have the pleasure of servicing DH as infrequently as i can get away with it  ;D and nothing for me  :( its not the same and i do miss  ^hump^ but frankly the size i am now i think DH finds me unattractive (think sumo wrestler  ;)) so we are both kinda happy to wait til i got my body back and can wear the nice undies and stuff again  ::) ::) ::).

That said the orgasms in the early days when we did it were great coz all the extra blood flow so if you want it now and not bleeding or any complications then go for it  ;) only time to avoid durign first tri for those of you still in early days is when a period would have been due as that can sometimes trigger a bleed so we avoided weeks 8 and 12 (i bled with DD at 12 weeks when i did it way back then)

^hugme^

bananagirl - hope your DH don't read on here  ^roflmao^
 

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Hi there,

I had also read that about the cervix and because of a previous m/c was told to abstain until the 12 week scan which we kind of did  ::)  :-[ and then we did it very regularly using condoms  ;D  One checkout lady at Sainsbury looked at me strangely once: she passed the condoms through the beeping thing and then looked at my expanding belly!!  ;)  I'm sure she must have thought:"A bit late for that love!!"  ;D ;D  It's only in the last couple of weeks I've allowed dh to not use them as I've been thinking that if baby was to arrive early he/she has a good chance of survival  :) 

Hope that helps  ::)

Sam xx
 

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I think I'm banned from sex.  I've had bleeding in 1st trimester and also expecting triplets, not spoke to the dr yet but from what I read with multiples they don't recommend sex or orgasms!  :-\  It will end up no nooky for 9 months and then I doubt I'll be up for it with 3 babies to feed through the night!! I'll feel like a nun!

:'(
 

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laura - we don't see you on the multiples thread (link below)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=142453.300

theres a few other ladies on there with tebble-trouble en-route so you could ask them what they are doing about nookie ;). Its also good coz we all have multiples so are all moaning about our backs, piles and all the others glamorous aches and pains which come with the multiples territory so feel free to join us ^hugme^

good luck everyone else ;) ^hump^ ;D
 

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We are on a definately no-go!
poor dh has only just been allowed back 'in' since Amy arrived (tried it once when she was due to get things started - not pretty or fun so never again!)

With having a stitch in I'm not allowed any fun - no sex, swimming or jumping up and down on a trampoline (my Consultant actually said this ^idiot^ ) and frankly I couldn't feel less like sex anyway!

I'm still waiting to 'bloom and glow' from getting pg with Amy - it better happen with this one or else I want retribution ^bigbad^ ;D ;D
 

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Well as soon as we started stimming with our DD sex was off the menu. The closest DH got was the pot at the clinic on egg collection day ;D ;D ;D

Around 12 weeks we 'half tried' it only to call it quits half way through. During my pregnancy I abstained completely from any form of sex, the big o, I was as good as a nun.

DD was born 24 Oct 07, and our first sex was about 5 weeks after, and then it was a bit soon after birth, so our real sex life resumed closer to end January.

Sex in pregnancy is a very personal thing. There is research either way, and frankly I dont see the harm in it. I was just too paranoid and too neurotic during my pregnancy to even contemplate such an idea!!

LOTSKY
 
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