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Me 44, DP 42, TTC 2013, 2 MCs, 2 failed IVF, currently donor egg IVF
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all,
I can't get it out of my head that my implantation wasn't successful last week.
I had the bestest quality DE transferred in early blastocyst stage with more than 100cells.
I've been told the don't do's, no not bath etc. afterwards. Which I did follow.
But I work in retail, exactly in Aldi. If you ever been to shopping one you know how fast pace we work. I already stepped down from deputy to store assistant due to stress and anxiety a month ago.
I did tell to my Store mng that I won't be able to lift heavy things or go into the big freezer due to doing treatment. She understood it.
But I can not avoid pulling pallets and stretching up high just to lift a bread full of crate, moving items on special buys where a box is bigger than me sometimes. I mainly work with the fridge section, where I was wearing five layers of clothing on whilst doing it so this time.
But I can't keep thinking I ruined my chance.
Would it be wise to go off sick in TWW next time? I'm sure I'll be out walking and reading, doing housework still just to make that blood circulate and I can't sit on my ass all day, get bored.
Any advice? Do you guys off working?
TIA
 

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I know you want to feel like you’re doing everything you possibly can, but I promise the single biggest factor on whether your cycle will be successful is the genetics of the embryo which is not in your control. I’ve had an absolutely perfect embryo not implant and a less “good looking” one stick and I didn’t do anything differently. If it makes you feel better, I went to the gym and had sex the afternoon of the transfer that conceived my son. My doctor told me I could carry on life absolutely as normal because from that point on nothing I did was going to make the difference and so I did and it really helped me mentally.
 
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Me 44, DP 42, TTC 2013, 2 MCs, 2 failed IVF, currently donor egg IVF
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi missl73,

Thank you so much for your kind words.
You're right, I want to know if I did everything I can and not the opposite. I still feel I might go off sick from work for the TWW and rather do spend time on myself, relax, do yoga and mindfulness next time. It's very hard mentally when you see BFN. You're looking for answers and feel guilty as well thinking back that I shouldn't have done this or that...
I had sex too 🤣 next day.
The eggs are donor eggs, so not sure about her genetics but they do test donors very strictly I heard...
 

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I agree with above. I had a perfect donor 4aa egg transferred 2 months ago and It didn't take which I put down to genetics as most miscarriages are due to abnormalities. i always think of women that have got pregnant as soldiers /high stress etc. But if u are likely to look back and replay the 'what ifs', then do what feels right x
 
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Me 44, DP 42, TTC 2013, 2 MCs, 2 failed IVF, currently donor egg IVF
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you Katehe.

See, I haven't thought about it that way. 🤔 You're right.
But as well, as we are all different what works for one might now work for the others, isn't it?
Do you have an upcoming transfer? Still doing DE IVF?
 

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IVF is mega stressful so do whatever you need to take care of yourself, it that means taking off the TWW do it! Just don’t hold yourself responsible for the outcome of your cycle, it’s in your body’s hands now and trust it to do it’s thing. It’s heartbreaking when it fails, and I’ve also had a miscarriage at 10 weeks following an IVF cycle and it’s so hard BUT I know that it was a random and unfortunate mutation that occurred during the embryos development and so actually my body was doing what it was supposed to and not taking that pregnancy forward. Wishing you the very best of luck, I sincerely hope that this little embryo is your take home baby XX
 
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Me 44, DP 42, TTC 2013, 2 MCs, 2 failed IVF, currently donor egg IVF
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hi missl73,

Thank you and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It must be the right reaction from our body to reject to carry on with pregnancy but it is still hurt so much. Same happened with my second natural pregnancy at 8weeks. It was heartbroken. Specially when you already saw that tiny hear beating, then say say it stopped after a couple of weeks 🥺
I do wish you the best as well. I won't give up, just yet. Xxx
 

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Please don’t blame yourself. I went to centre parcs in my 2ww and got a BFP. I carried my 3 1/2 year old and suitcases, swum, rode a bike and carried on as normal. I have known women to basically stay in doors for the whole 2ww and still get a negative. I wish you all the best for the future x
 

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Please don't blame yourself - as others say, it's largely down to genetics and (obviously) medical/gynae issues :)

I leapt off the couch within seconds of my embryo transfer because I desperately needed a wee. I subsequently walked back across central London to the railway station and spent the next couple of weeks exercising, as usual, like mad.

I have a little boy from that embryo transfer and an older boy who I conceived naturally during immune treatment. With my older boy, I was preparing for IVF at ARGC and they banned you from exercising for 12 weeks after embryo transfer... so, I went crazy the month before I was due to start my cycle, running half-marathons and packing in the weight classes. I was subsequently really stressed that my period was late, but it turned out that I was already six weeks pregnant.

So, nope... crazy exercising, lifting heavy objects and being very stressed does not, in fact, affect fertility in most cases!
 
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