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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, I know I've probably posted something similar before, but Kieran is getting worse.

In the evenings if I give him toddler jars, or something I've made, fish pie or shepherds pie which he used to love he will at first try to push it off the highchair and I keep asking if he wants to get down and he says no, so I leave him to it and he eventually starts to eat.  Most times he gets about half way through and starts asking for fruit.  I would rather he ate more of his dinner as I'm worried hes skipping dinner to get to fruit.  Last night I was annoyed at the amount he ate and didn't let him have any fruit.  But I don't know if this is right as surely fruit is good for them and he did eat some dinner.  I'm struggling to know what to do for the best, should I be happy with a smaller quantity of dinner being eaten and give him a piece or two of fruit? 

If I was to put sausages or chicken nuggets and mash in front of him, we don't get any of the hassle and he is straight in there.  Struggling to know what to give him as he is loosing interest in so much.

What would others do, would you be happy, he does have some dinner and still give him the fruit.  He was crying at his highchair and asking for fruit yesterday and I felt bad, I tried to explain eat your dinner and you get fruit, am I asking to much of a 22 month old?

Shazznewman
 

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This is a tricky one - feeding toddlers is a minefield! i would be interested in any replies as my sister has a complete nightmare with her 2.  M is still ok, but if she starts messing around with her meal i take it away and get her down.  if she asks, i will take her back to it and she gets to have another go - and pud!
 

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Right from the start I have been determined not to have issues with food and I don't force my two to eat all their meal if they don't want to. They don't get anything else or extra to compensate but they do get what they would have originally had, be it fruit or yogurt, provided they have eaten some.

I think really it's down to you to decide what you are comfortable with but then be consistent and do the same every time. If you're worried about him not getting enough fruit then why not give it as a mid morning/afternoon snack? Alternatively see if he'll go back to his savoury after the fruit.

Chux xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi thanks for the replies so far.  Glad to see that you still offer the fruit Chux, I think maybe that is right, he is eating something and fruit is good for him so maybe I shouldn't have stopped him having it yesterday.  He does have fruit at lunchtime as well, so I'm glad that he will eat fruit.

Shazznewman
 

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Personally if he's eaten some of his main course I would still give pudding. Otherwise it's like the main course is punishment ie if he doesn't eat it he doesn't get fruit! I think to avoid food issues you just have to accept that some days (or weeks or months) they will just mess with food, throw it around & eat only a mouthful but they won't starve ever no matter what you give them. One thing I would say absolutely NOT to do is to only make things you know they will eat as you're setting trouble in store for yourself. Just carry on offering a good variety of foods & remember your job is to provide the food & it's his to eat as much of it was he wants.
 

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Prof - that's a good point - it's so easy to 'give in' and only give the things you know they will eat easily - it means they can end up with a very narrow diet! (my sister's 2 are a very good example of that - if it isn't white, i.e. bread, cereal or cakes, or chocolate, they won't eat it!)

I don't give M things i know she genuinely doesn't like, but i will try them again every few weeks.  a good case in point is eggs - she would refuse point blank to eat them for ages, but i kept trying, and then let her 'pinch' some off my plate (bad habit, but they'll eat things they wouldn't eat off their own -like cats!), and now she will happily have scrambled egg for her tea.  I am going to work on other egg based dishes slowly but surely...

 

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Hi Shazz

I would still give the fruit. It is a tough call but anything more than 50% of the main course is an achievement in my opinion. I think they are just at an age where they get bored quickly.

Nicky x
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hi, an update, we spent a week in Cyprus and Kieran was really off his food, but I wasn't bothered as he was eating things, I think a combination of heat and the food tasting different might have been the problem abroad.  When we got home we have an improvement for about a week with his food and now hes gone a little down hill again.

Last night I gave Kieran an Annabel Karmel meal with rice and chicken in it and he just wouldn't even try it.  Just kept asking for fruit.  Left him for a while why I ate my dinner to see if he would eat it or try it, but no.  So I got him down and he started screaming and crying, so I gave him another chance and put him back in his highchair, but once again he refused and just kept asking for fruit, so he got down and dinner went in the bin. 

Kieran was really upset and then tried to pick bits of rice up off the lounge carpet to eat, how bad did I feel, who said babies wont starve themself and will eat it their hungry, I felt so bad, he must have been hungry to try and then eat bits of rice off the carpet.  I cleaned up the carpet so he couldn't eat off it and this made him even more upset, but I put him back in his highchair and made him some toast and gave him several bits of fruit and fromage frais and we then had a happy toddler.

Bad Mummy, I really think Kieran must not like dishes with rice or pasta in and I will have to have a backup if I attempt to give him any dishes with either in the future to try.  I will try to keep more calm, not make such a big issue of it and have something I know he likes to eat and then if he doesn't eat that he gets down.

Shazznewman

 

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Aaaw Shazz

My heart went out to you when I read the bit about the rice on the carpet. They reallly know how to tug at the heart strings eh??!!

Ethan went through a phase of refusing fruit having previously loved it so I hid it in purees until he started accepting it again.

I know you have the opposite problem i.e. savoury but maybe you could find the few things he will eat and hide stuff in it!! i.e. if he will eat omelette do a frittata with veg/cheese/ham in it. If he will eat sausage rolls then maybe try buying vol au vent cases and filling them with good stuff. My SIL did this with my niece who was a terrible eater and told her they were 'Isabel's special pies' and that worked - she filled them with shepherds pie filling etc. 

Or (Kas Cooke suggests this in her 'Kidwrangling' book) say 'Mummy has made you a plate of fruit' and then put little bits of savoury stuff on there too - scotch egg, cheese cubes, ham etc and then it takes the pressure off and hopefully he will try some.

One thing that works for me at the moment when Ethan is reluctant to try things is saying 'Guess who eats satsumas'....'Nanny'!! Nanny is Ethan's fave person so anything Nanny does is cool!! I also sometimes (if it isn't too messy) get him to feed a bit to teddy and then mummy and then Ethan has to try some - if he does - a huge big fuss is made of what a good boy he is.

Just a few ideas - you've prob tried some already!

Good luck

Nicky x
 
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