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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
HI. Just a queerie to see if anyone knows where I stand. I am currently working. I am a nurse specialist and whilst i love my job I hate the travelling. I drive about an hour each way to work and if its rush hour it can take longer. Anyway I digress. There is a job 10 minutes away from home, still within the NHS that I want to apply for. Should I get a BFP it would make it so much better being closer to home. also being within the NHs all my maternity rights are transferred. It would also possibly be a little less stressful cos its a grade lower.

The thing is that if I got it it would coinside with the last bit or just after my first (and hopefully only) cycle. I could proably wangle it so that I start after 2ww. But does anyone think I need to tell them. I guess if I was trying naturally I wouldnt tell my prospective employer I was trying to get pregnant. I just wanted to run it by you all and see what you think. Hope it makes sense. My current boss knows and is sworn to secrecy.

Any thoughts greatfully received
Kate
 

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Hi Kate,

I am actually in a very similar situation, although I'm a teacher not a nurse, and I am going from p/t to f/t. I start a new contract in Sept, and although it's at the same place I currently work, I've only been there since Christmas and it will be more responsibility, so I have had some doubts.
Anyway, I have got the job and I am hoping to start tx in Oct / Nov, and I have no intention whatsoever of telling my boss or anyone else at work! I think when the time comes I will say I am having some "gynae" issues and that I may need time off as a result. I should say that at the mo I am only having IUI, I know ICSI will be more invasive and may involve you needing more time off work.
In the meantime I will be trying not to have any sick days!
I am reluctant to tell my boss as she will think it's very odd that I applied for this job (it's a promotion,) all the while knowing this is going on, but my attitude is...tough!! I work very hard and will continue to do so, but if I finally get pg I won't give a monkeys about what anyone thinks about it!!!
If as time goes on it gets difficult to hide it, I might consider telling the boss, but only after I've been doing the job for a while.
Hope that makes sense and helps a little, it's a bit of a minefield isn't it?!

Good luck with your tx...hope you get a BFP!

xx
 

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I am currently looking for a job and I feel that disclosing my tx may prevent me getting the job.  I wouldn't tell them.  Good Luck xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thats kind of what I've been thinking. what mad me doubt it was when I told my sister she grimaced when I said they didnt have to know which did plant a seed of doubt in my head. The only concern I have is that when I was interviewed for my current job they asked me at the end of the interview if i had any ongoing medical problems. Are they actually ok to do this? If they are what do I say at an interview if I am mid Tx and opumping myself full of drugs on a daily basis. I guess strictly speaking I dont have any medical problems.

Oh why cant it be simple??? :( :(


Jennifer can I be incredibly nosey and ask why you are having IVF in Spain.

 

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be as nosey as you like buddy !

Lots of reasons, costs, younger donor, results, holiday while having tx, RUTH !!! We are going on gut feeling and we both feel our chances will be better in Spain.  Lets hope so !
 

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Kate,

A tough question. I can only share my own experience. I didn't tell anyone at work about my ICSI cycle. I really wanted somewhere where I could be "normal" and couldn't face lots of gossip or well meaning questions. I think I got away with it. I was lucky in that I was pretty well throughout treatment, and so didn't need to take much time off, just a couple of days around EC/ET. For all the early morning scans I just said I had a doctors appointment / blood test. Now they are joking that I've got a season ticket at the doctors but I don't think anyone has guessed what I was really up too. So it is possible to do if you want.

Best of luck with your cycle.


Edna
 

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Hi I just wanted to say that I was in the same position as you last year. I was just about to start a training course for my new job which coincided with having IVF treatment. I needed quite q bit of time off especially with all the travelling (we had treatment in leeds and live in lancashire). I decided to tell them and found that they were quite supportive and changed my hours around to coincide with the treatment. I would wait until you get the job before telling them.
Hope this helps.

Good luck
 

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I delayed looking for a new job for 3 years whilst ttc and doing IVF when I was terribly unhappy at work, because I didn't want to risk annoying my new employer by taking maternity leave a few months after joining (big joke, could have been working somewhere for 3 years by the time that happened). But I am in the private sector and would have been changing company rather than location, so I don't know if that makes more of a difference.

When I actually did tx I didn't tell my employer - I told them in advance I needed 'an operation' and took 2 weeks sick leave each time - my GP backed me up with a non-specific sick note and it was fine.  For blood tests and scans I either told them doctor's appointment, took a half day leave, or worked from home or some other excuse. 
I don't think you are under any obligation to tell anyone, it's purely an ethical decision about whether you want to take a new job and possibly risk annoying your new boss when you scoot out of there on sick leave or hopefully maternity!

Anyway what I'm saying is screw the ethics and go for the job.  You can put your whole life on hold because of IF, when people who conceive naturally 'by mistake' would simply have to take the maternity leave and risk upsetting their new employer. Lots of people get jobs and then have to go off sick soon after.    It's a pain for them but nothing they can do about it.

go for it, hope you get the job!
Claire
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks evryone that has really helped. Have applied anyway and will see what happens. Tried to work all the timings out and its really hard to plan as everyones tx is different. I could possibly wing it so I start at the end of the cycle, thats if i get it ofcourse. I dont feel so bad now.

Thanks
Kate
 
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