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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,
I am new to posting on this site but have been lurking for the last couple of months and reading a few of your stories.  Hopefully I'm posting in the right place.
Our history in short is that after 2 years of TTC, we have found ourselves dealing with severe MF. The tests have just come back and identified Kleinefelters  :-[
We know that there is no way we will ever have our own biological child and are slowly coming to terms with the fact that we will require the use of donor sperm to achieve our longed for family.
We have just been referred to a fertility clinic and are awaiting our first consultation appointment.
In the meantime, I have had an up to date set of hormone profiles done, HIV and Hepatitis and have started to chart again to find patterns in my cycle in preparation for what lies ahead.
My question is how long have people generally had to wait to find a potential donor match before they have been able to start treatment? Once a match has been found, do things kick off straight away?

This is all so new to us so we will probably have many more questions over the coming weeks.

Many Thanks
 

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Hi
It is a huge shock when you finally realise that donor sperm is going to be the only way to have a family. Do take time to grieve the child you cannot have...it really helps in welcoming the child (by donor sperm) that you can have. I can certainly say from twenty odd years on that having our family this way has been completely fulfilling and we couldn't love our children more. They adores their dad too.
Do think about joining DC Network www.dcnetwork.org to be in touch with others. We have many families where the MF is due to Klinefelters.
With regard to your question about matching, this will depend on the numbers of donors that your clinic has been able to recruit. Some clinics have many donors, others just a few and many more none at all. It does vary enormously from clinic to clinic. Contact the National Gamete Donation Trust for up to date information about donor availability, www.ngdt.co.uk 0845 226 9193.
Very best wishes
Olivia

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Hungary,

We waitied about 4 months to be matched and started straightaway.. It will depend on where abouts you are in your cycle as to how quick you start.

If you want to join us ladies on the Anyone using Donor Sperm you will be most welcome :)

Love Bronte xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you both for your replies, they are much appreciated.

Olivia - thanks for the link - I shall check it out. It's lovely to hear that you feel that way about your family and especially about them adoring their dad.

Bronte - Thank you for sharing your experience of wait times etc. Its difficult because we feel we just want to start but know we may face uncertain obstacles along the way. I will pop along across to the other thread and join you soon so see you there.

Hungary
xx
 

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I've never had a wait with my clinic - they just ask me when I want to book in and have never told me I'm on a waiting list.  :)

Best of luck,

Marie xxx
 

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Hungary  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ hello - the wait varies enormously from clinic to clinic. I've never had to wait for donor sperm at my clinics but it can take time to have all the blood tests and checks and paper-work done. I know this isn't the way you imagined you'd have a family but things do get easier and people using donor sperm have counselling at their clinics which I was dreading but actually really helped.
I too post on the same thread as Marie and Bronte and it's great because we're all at different stages in tx - some are first timers and others are going for baby number 2. It's a very helpful and friendly thread to post on.
^hugme^ 
 

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well i was trying to find a sperm donor. my aunt and uncle have been trying to have kids for a good almost 2 yrs. They have been praying everyday that god would bless them with a child.I really wanna help them so i told them i would try to find a donor and carry the baby for them until born then give them custity so they can start the family they been prayin for.
if anyone can help me plz reply back!!!!
 

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hi, my partner has azoospermia so our only option is to use a donor. after completing blood tests, hsg and scans we had to have counselling and then pick our donor. we're quite lucky that there are donors available at our clinic, however there weren't as many as i had expected (about 8 altogether!). we chose last monday and are ready to start treatment on my next cycle so we havent had a wait.
good luck and best wishes in your journey x
 

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Hello ladies, I've not posted here before but I had a follow up with the consultant today and I'm looking for advice on what to do next.

So I saw Dr X today...in summary we've had 2 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs (we've used  ICSI and assisted hatching in there too). Its been 4.5yrs and no pregnancies, they can't find any problems with me or DH (I've had HSG and hysteroscopy/laparascopy, basic tests, DH has also had genetic screening). Our problem is that our embryos don't make it to morula stage (i.e. they all slow and fail from Day 4 - we've had Day 3 and 4 ETs). The Dr is inclined to think its a sperm problem that they can't see but he cannot provide any conclusive tests and he recommended we go for Donor Sperm or another ICSI and then donor sperm (or perhaps egg but more expensive) if that's an easier transition for us. He said PGS/D, IMSI and the likes of DHEA wouldn't help us.

My questions is - after only 2 IVFs and no actual diagnosis of a problem, is this too soon to give up on our own genetic mix baby? What would you do? Thanks in advance for any replies.
 

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Hi 2Buttons,

I'm sorry to hear your story. Of course whether two IVFs are enough is a really personal decision. But I can tell you my thinking for us in case that helps at all. And really I just wanted to say hello and that we're in a very similar boat. We've had two failed ICSIs. Very poor sperm morphology is obvious but no recognised syndrome has been diagnosed. Our embryos are poor quality and fertilisation rate low. It is very hard to make the decision to move on when the doctors don't really understand fully just how likely or unlikely success might be with dh's sperm. In our case, we are doing a third cycle with dh's sperm but have been told it is likely none of the embryos will survive until blastocyst for transfer. After that, I think we will probably move to donor sperm. Increasingly I feel that it is what I want, and dh says he is pretty much on the same page. I feel that it is time we were parents now, and that I don't want to prolong this difficult time of ttc with very little hope. I guess dh's age plays into that feeling for me, as he will be 45 just after Christmas, but even though I'm younger than him (34) I still feel that for me too it is time to be a parent now and I don't want to wait. I think that when we have children we will love them and that is what matters. 

Where are you cycling by the way? None of our doctors have actually wanted to tell us that it won't work, whereas yours seems a bit bolder, so I wonder whether that is because of differences in our embryos or because your doctors are a bit more expert ...

Best of luck with your decision.

P.
 

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I am new to this site. We found out about two weeks ago my husband has azoospermia that can not be solved. We were given 3 options. 1 get on with our life, 2 adoption or 3 sperm donor. Although we have decided that the sperm donor route is the best im really worried about the waiting we could end up with. Its been just over 2 years since the hospital got involved and we only got this far! Isthere a bigger waiting list on nhs and is there a way i can find anything out about the area i live in? I feel totally alone as i have no one in the same sort of situation i can go to!
 

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See my reply on your other thread.
 

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Hi bev84,
Just wanted to say hi and to let you know I'm here if you ever want a moan. We are going through the same situation but a bit further on. We found out in Oct 2011, had our first meeting to organise a donor match in October last year. After many tests. We got a call with our match first week in January. I've heard many have a match a lot sooner. Depending on the hospital and how many donors they have that match your dh.
Good luck, try and keep positive. x
 

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Hi,

it looks like it has been a while since the last post, but thought I would tell of our experience.  After the years of fertility treatment and deciding to go  down the donor route, we were matched with 2 donors at our local clinic.  We were not convinced by the pen portraits, and my counselor offered to contact the national gamete society on our behalf and within 2 weeks were matched to a donor from the Brighton Fertility Association. 

it took another couple of weeks to get the samples transferred to our local fertility center.

 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Hi all,


It seems a lifetime since I started this thread, but for those who are in the middle or just starting their journey, I thought it would be nice to share our experience 5 years down the line.




In the end, despite so years delay due to my bodies complications, the wait for donor sperm was only a couple of weeks at our clinic but there wasn't a lot of choice. We allowed the clinical chose the best match from their panel of donors at the time.


Luckily for us, our treatment worked first time an we are now proud parents to twins who are about to embark on their next adventure, school!


I can honestly say that whilst we would not have wished our journey on our worst enemy, my husband could not adore our children any more then he does. They may not look like him physically but actually, they don't look particularly like me either. However, both children have taken behaviours and traits fom him from their day to day existence and only a fool would question the bond they have developed. No one has ever questioned their paternity and if they did, we would be proud to divulge their history, but only once we have been able to tell them.


In the beginning, it wasn't easy to accept the diagnosis but in all honesty, we have now come to terms with it and actually we wouldn't swap our journey for the world. It had made us stronger and for the children, they couldnt be more wanted and have two devoted parents who treasure every moment, good and bad.


For everyone who in this position, never give up hope because sometimes, dreams really do come true.




Xx
 

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Hungary, it's so lovely to read your experience. I have two little munchkins from donor sperm, ages 3.5 and nearly 6 months, and I can echo everything you're saying. It's six years this month since we got the diagnosis of azoospermia, and nearly 5 years since choosing our donor. We have been so blessed and lucky and wouldn't change anything for the world, because we wouldn't have our two gorgeous children. Every day I send a prayer of thanks (even though am not religious) to our donor for giving us the most amazing gifts in the world.


It is a tough journey but it is so, so worth it. Hang in there and keep going everyone ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 

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The wait is terrible here. We were told 3-4 years for donor sperm. Having to save up at least £2,000 to buy our own from the European Sperm Bank.

 

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Hi everyone

I know been a while since anyone posted but wondered if anyone has any info regarding what happens at the councilling session you have to have before you go ahead with Donor Sperm

Thanks

Billy
 
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