Gosh an awful lot has been happening since I last logged on. Sorry I've been absent but last couple of weeks have been hectic.
Jen & Eileen I'm sorry to hear your news. Glad you both have plans made to carry on, you can both fight this. Look at me! 7 DIUIs, 1 ICSI and 1 IVF and there is no hope of me giving up just yet. It doesn't get any easier, in fact with each one that fails the journey gets harder. I don't know why life has thrown this our way girls but we're fighters, and you have to believe in yourselves.
Had appt with new clinic on 21 July, am quite impressed. They sound positive (as they all do!!), we have 2 options - either to carry on with DIUI or DIVF, we've chosen the former as IVF is just so expensive. Shall give it 3 or 4 goes and then if it doesn't work think I'm up s*it creek without a paddle!! Am so glad we've changed clinics, like you Jen we had lost all faith in our previous one. Also we cannot do egg share as I had hoped because I have already had two goes at IVF and they count apparently! So nobody can have my eggs that I'm quite willing to share, crazy eh? Bit peed off over that but they are the rules.
Course we can't start DIUI yet until I've had all the blood tests done again etc, pants eh. Plus consultant recommended I have a laparoscopy, I did have an HSG but because I've had so much treatment he wants to make sure everything is working. I'm having the lap done on the NHS so have to wait a couple of months, more waiting arrgh! Getting so disheartened now but must battle on. Please God we will all get there one day. Might just get one or 2 goes in before Xmas.
Hope everyone is OK and bearing up. It's great to see so many posts when you sign in, you're all such a nice bunch of peeps.
Fliss darling how's the pg going? Had another scan yet?
I love you attitude sweets....it must be the Irish fighter in you! It really helps to hear stuff like that you know.
I am just back from having about 7 bottles of blood filled for the new clinic.....decided to waste no time.....some of them needed done days 1-3 of AF.......perfect! Sinbad - what is HSG??
Eileen hope you are surviving sweets.........i know it sounds naff, but during this process, I took up the very old fashioned habit of reading......trashy novels!! It is great because they really help remove your mind from how bad stuff is.
Also, I have a thirty year old friend who is going for a scan to find out if she has MS or an anurism (spelling!) so life could be worse for us! I count myself lucky when I hear that sort of thing.
Love to all............from a depressed but fighting....thanks to you guys
Wow we've got a new thread - better do some more chatting seeing as I'm not at work again today!
Had a stupid argument with DP last night and had a really bad nights sleep tossing and turning and brooding about things, but doesn't seem so bad in the light of day!
Thinking of taking a few months off rather than going straight into next treatment. We are meant to be going to a wedding in Cyprus on 16th october and were thinking of going to Greek islands at same time. Because my treatment cycle is very long (3 weeks downregging, 2 weeks stimming and then 2ww) we could fit in a treatment before going on holiday if i start next month otherwise we will have to wait to November I think. November seems a long way off and I hate to lose anytime but on the other hand I don't think I can face starting sniffing again next week and I want to give it my best shot as we only have 3 gos on the NHS. If I do wait until November then I will focus on trying to lose a bit of weight - although I am not very overweight I am probably a stone or so over my ideal weight and I've read that even a small amount of weight loss (10%) can be good for PCOS, also a couple of friends of mine got pregnant first month of trying after losing weight so maybe there is something in it. Even if not it will make me feel better about myself. Secondly I am going to take some exercise because I've also read that this is good for PCOS and I'm a lazy couch potato. And also even if it does not help it will also make me feel better about myself. Thirdly I am going to start acupuncture cos I've read good things about it on here. Lastly I am going to start trying to see friends with babies again cos I have cut myself off from some of my best friends in the last 2 years. Even though it's painful for me i think I need to do it cos I used to really enjoy spending time with my friends kids before this IF malarkey and isolating myself isn't doing my mental state any good. Anyway them's my plans - so you can hold me to them!
Sinbad- your fighting talk inspired me! Really glad to hear that you are happy with the new clinic and that you are starting again. It's such a bloody pain that you have to do all the tests again! Also it seems crazy that you can't egg share = I thought that there was a shortage of egg donors!!!?? How is the new job going? i only started my job in January and I have had sooooooo much time off. I feel really guilty about it and worry that they will get rid of me. On the other hand I have taken all the hospital appointments as days holiday as they don't count IF treatment as sick - and it certainly isn't my idea of a holiday!
Anyway bla di bla.
Jen - how are you doing love? - hope you are keeping your chin up.
You posted while I was writing my epic! Reading trashy novels is a great idea as it is, as you say, a really good escape. I'll add it to my Action Plan list! Any recommendations?
Sorry to hear about your friend. I know exactly what you mean about realising what you have to be thankful of. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for - it's just on some days I can't seem to see them. Then you hear a story like that and realise how lucky we are.
Really glad to hear that you are 'up and at 'em' again.
Morning girls! Can't believe how many posts you've all done since yesterday!
Jen ... I'm so sorry to hear about AF. I remember she'd been arriving early on your previous cycles and the clinic were going to investigate; I think there was talk of progesterone levels. Did the clinic do anything about it?
You asked Sinbad about HSG. It's a Hysterosalpinogram, which is where dye is injected into your uterus via the cervix. It fills the uterus and then the tubes, and you are X-rayed the whole time to check on progress of the dye, which shows up really clearly. They can tell if your tubes are clear, or if you have other blockages or anything.
Eileen .. I can't believe your cycle is so long, with downregging and stimms ... that must be really frustrating. You mentioned accupuncture. Have you tried reflexology? I had about 5 sessions, and I'm convinced it helped!
Sinbad ... alright mate! It's really nice to hear from you .. I've been keeping an eye out for your posts 'cos it's always nice to hear from you. Glad the new job is good. How's Owen? I bet he's huge now compared to how he looks in his photograph. I'm so pleased for you that your new clinic is giving you renewed hope and vigour. I know it's a faff to have to have all the tests again, but who knows ... maybe they'll find the solution. I hope so 'cos you've been at this for so long, you deserve that BFP.
I'm fine .. have a scan on Tuesday, so I'm excited and nervous too. I'll let you know the outcome.
I have been feeling a bit down but am determined to try and think positively. Have been cycling, swimming in the sea, doing yoga and have booked an acupuncture appointment and gym induction - yikes! don't know which if those last two is more scary. Yes I do - it's definitely the gym ^shocked^
November seems a very long way away for my next IUI! Might have to see if there is any way I can change that otherwise I might go bonkers.
Does anyone else know when they are likely to be going again?
I've been really busy (ok, ok, I've been asleep!) so I haven't been on as much as I used to, but there seems to be a bit of a lull at the moment anyway. I hope no-one minds me still posting here occasionally though. I had a scan yesterday ... am officially 12 weeks today, which is amazing. Both babes were alive and well and moving about like mad which was wonderful to see. I still can't believe how lucky I am. The sonographer did tell me something surprising though ... she was almost 100% sure they are identical!! It had never occurred to me that they would be, as I knew I had 2 follies prior to DI (stimulated by the Puregon). I was stunned into silence (so unlike me! )
What a lovely message ~ great news ~ identical twins ~ that sounds amazing!
How on earth can they tell at this stage?
It is really lovely to hear from you, when ever you feel able to post as it gives us all hope that one day it will be 'our turn' Thank you.
Eileen, I'm not sure I am talking to you ~ I won't let my hubbie get near this site as he'll get some silly idea about me exercising ^shocked^
You asked when I would be trying again ~ well I'm waiting for af before an attempt with 100 clomid ( last two tries were with 50). Isn't it typical ~ I've spent the last few months willing af not to come, now when I'm ready and waiting ~ nothing!!!!!!!!!!
Mmmmm, think I might have given you the wrong impression that I am sporty type - I am VERY lazy and VERY unfit! I am highly unlikely to keep up this level of activity past the end of the week! but had to do something to keep myself occupied and feel like I was doing something positive. Went to aerobics at lunch time today with sporty work colleague and now my bum and tum hurts! Ouch!
Fliss I am so glad your scan went well - it's really exciting!
Tag, during an early scan (has to be before 13 weeks or so I think) the sonographer looks at the placenta/s to see if there's one or two ... two means def not identical, one could be either. Then they look at the membranes of the sack or sacks and apparently can tell from those. I have no idea how they can make anything out, as to me the scans always look like a grey blur!! But they're the professionals, so we just have to believe what they say, don't we!
Eileen, even if you're not as fit as you sound, you make me feel tired just talking about your exercise plans!!
wow all this exercise talk is making me cringe! reminds me just how unfit I am - but i do have Owen to walk twice a day. He's getting huge by the way but is so gorgeous still!
Fliss how wonderful! Identical twins, absolutely amazing! Does that mean that one of the embryos split, as opposed to two of your eggs being fertilised? Is that what happens with identicals? Gosh I can't believe it, how fab is that? You really are an inspiration - please stick with us, we want to be there with you every step of the way - even if you are asleep most of the time ! Are you still feeling sick? So if they're identical I guess they'll be the same sex too huh, I really am thrilled for you and hubbie!!!
Hello Eileen, Tag, Hobbs, Jen and everyone else! Sorry haven't been posting much, no other excuse than I've been really busy at work and shattered with this hot weather - moan moan moan eh! We can't wait for summer to be here and then it's too hot!! Hobbs how did the wedding go - you're probably on h/moon now - go for it!! Fab news on the dissertation. Tag hoping AF arrives so that you can start soon - is this the first Clomid? Eileen know how the waiting can be frustrating - our last go was in late April/May, and won't do another one til I have lap done and other tests, probably Oct/Nov - it's a killer! Hopefully it will give me time to destress, I know I should not be stressed with having time off but new job etc finding my feet all contribute to it. However by the time I start again I should be so nice and relaxed and laid back (as if).
Had letter following our appt in July, consultant says he's probably likely to go with injectiblies if lap & dye are all ok, doesn't like Clomid apparently! So prob 75ius of something or other. Roll on next DIUI!
Well girls I wish you all a lovely weekend, and catch up soon!
Love to you all Sinbad xxxxxxxxxxx
Sinbad ... I'm here even if no-one else is. Maybe they're all out in their garages frantically building Arks, just in case the rain doesn't stop!! How are you? You must have been in your new job a while now ... hope it's going well. When's your next treatment due to start? I know you've been to your new clinic and they talked about injectibles .... I'm a big believer in them, as that's what worked for me! Oh, I so hope it works for you, you deserve it so much.
Anyway, I seem to be getting a bit gushy, so I'll move swiftly on!! In truth, I hope it works for everyone on FF.
I'm still feeling tired, though a bit less so, which is good. I've actually started being more sick since about 11 weeks, which is not so good! I'm going for a nuchal scan on Saturday with hubby, and then we're going to tell everyone! Can't wait ... keeping a secret like this has been awful! Family know, but that's all so far! Everyone else just thinks I'm putting weight on!!
Anyway, love to everyone, even if you do all seem to have disappeared, Fliss xxxx