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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi...am new to FF and this whole fertility treatment world. ??? My hubby had vasectomy before I met him - he has 2 lovely children but I am desperate for a baby of our own. After a lot of saving, we (well he really), went for vas reversal which was unsuccessful. We were referred to fertility clinic and had initial appt earlier this month where they recommended sperm aspiriation and ICSI. They asked about using donor sperm if it turns out his swimmers are not great. Straight away, he said yes he would consider it but I am not sure. I want to have his child and worry that if ^pray^ we are successful, he might feel differently towards a child which is not biologically his?
The whole thing has put quite a strain on us and its tricky to talk about it with him - I keep getting stupidly upset by the whole thing and as a result, he tries to make me feel better by changing the subject.

Just wondering if anyone had any advice.
Thanks
 

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HI, i was in same position, my dh had the vasectomy reversal which did work, but he had too many antibodies and so we needed icsi.


We agreed that we wanted to try his sperm and agreed between us on how many cycles we would try it for. That was our way of saying yes we have tried and so we wouldnt wonder if it would have worked. But we talked about donor sperm a lot and both felt happy that it was a good option for us should we go down that route. My 5 yr old is not my husbands biologically, but he adopted him. He has two older sons, i can say 100% that he loves my 5 yr old as though he were his in every way and that if donor sperm was the route we had chosen that it wouldnt have made any difference.


I know its a v hard subject esp for a man but it is very important to talk about it together and be happy with your decision.


Hope this helps a little  ^hugme^
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for taking time to reply, and congrats and  ^hugme^ for you! Suppose we do have to decide how many cycles to go for, suppose you had to pay for each one too? Its just soooo expensive and I can't imagine a time when I could say enough is enough! Just starting out on this journey and to be honest, its all a bit scary, confusing and intimidating. Still, we have to give it a shot...

x
 

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It is very scary hun, but fertility friends will help you all the way! It helps so much talking to people who really understand from experience. And when it works theres no better feeling  ;D 


We did egg shareing, where i gave half the eggs collected each cycle to another couple in return for cheaper treatment. I did this at CRM in london, meant a lot of travel but also the difference between paying around £5000 and paying £1100 or there abouts. Of course this isnt for everyone.


That influenced my decision a lot of how many cycles we could afford. But when you go through it you also know how many cycles you think is right for you, they are hard and you need much support to stay positive. My friend did 8 and then got twins, i did 4, though one of mine was stopped after egg collection as i was poorly. Its all very individual!


Any time you want to talk, feel free to message me  ^hugme^
 
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