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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi All,

Last week my consultant gave me the shocking news that my egg quality was poor so I could not have ANY treatment especially IVF  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(      my only option was to find an egg donor.

I have spent days crying not knowing what to do as he said I could wait up to 3 years for a donor (in UK).

Does anyone have any experience of treatment in America, as when I looked at the websites they appear to have egg donors waiting !

Thanks for any information

Mist xx     
 

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I'm so sorry you've had that particular piece of bad news from your consultant.  I know how you feel: a premature menopause left me having to go down the DE route.

Are you particularly keen on the USA?  If you are prepared to go elsewhere, you'll find it much cheaper, with results as good.  I looked into Spain and the USA (husband's relatives are American) and we have decided to go with the former.  In dollar terms, the costs, excluding travel and accommodation, will be almost half of the USA.  And there are virtually no waiting lists.  And the language barrier is not a problem as all the clinics get a lot of English custom and so have systems in place to deal with it.

The places we looked into are CERAM (Marbella), IVI (Barcelona, Valencia, Madrid & others), and Instituto Marques (Barcelona & others).

You'll find lots of information about them all on the Treatment Abroad board.

Lots of luck and best wishes
Carolyn.

 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Carolyn,

Many thanks for your reply.

The main reason we were considering the USA rather than Spain is that both my husband and I have blonde hair and are very fair skinned. If we went to Spain which would be a great option in terms of distance etc.would we easily get a match ?

I wish you luck for your future treatment

Best Wishes

Mist


 

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Mist, same here - husband red head with brown eyes, me blonde w green eyes, both very fair.

The issue of matching has been brought up in several other threads, and the consensus was that they will try and match you but it will take longer in Spain (but we are talking weeks, not years, as I understand it). And you probably won't get a Nordic-looking donor, but perhaps someone with e.g. light brown hair and pale olive skin rather than darker olive.

One person I found very helpful when researching Spain was Ruth.  She's the nurse at CERAM, a native English speaker, very ethical and responsible, and I think a good person to talk to if you want to find out more about matching possibilities and options.

As for us, our stance has changed considerably since we started the DE process, and two factors in particular have helped us make up our minds about a Spanish donor.
1. We've decided to tell any child we might have about its origins, and our families know what we are doing, so looking like us to "blend in" is not so much of an issue.
2. Although I was very keen on the blonde/light skin option initially, particularly since our first DE attempt was using my blonde blue-eyed sister's eggs, we have come so far now that I have to say we don't really care about colouring - it's just "we want a child". (And when I say we've come so far, it's not been that long really, but the DE process pretty quickly sorts out your absolute-must-have factors from the would-be-nice ones!)

However, another option you might want to consider is Russia, where I understand there are plenty of paler donors.  Apparently costs are relatively low as well.  Again, there is a thread on the "going abroad for treatment" thread.

If I can be of any more help, let me know.

Carolyn.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi Carolyn,

Many thanks for your reply, you are already making me feel better and positive  ^reiki^  ^reiki^  ^reiki^.

I suppose when I think about it, I don't really mind about hair/skin colouring, I really just want a baby and to be a mum.

The information you gave me on Spain was very helpful, I will discuss this option with dh who is my rock !!!!

How much do you think I would have to budget for DE treatment ?

Thanks for all your help

Best wishes

Mist x



 

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Hi Mist

Regarding costs and so on - I don't think I can send file attachments via FF, but if you give me an e-mail address, and if you/husband has Microsoft excel, then I can send you the spreadsheet I put together when my husband and I were doing our assessments of the clinics.

I did it for Shady Grove (Washington DC) and 3 Spanish clinics.  The figures are not exact, but give you a good idea of how much it could add up to.  It could also help you compile your own "soft" factors to consider, such as feelings about personnel, distance, as I did that as well!

Oh dear, all this makes us sound very cold and clinical, but we were so overwhelmed with information, and I have always been highly organised and MUST impose order on whatever chaos is around me, hence the spreadsheet!!

If no excel, then let me know and I'll root out the main figures and put them into a message for you.
Carolyn.
 

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I forgot to say - have a look at the Abroadies Chapter 16 thread, as towards the end of what is currently page 1 and then on page 2 you will find information on costs in Spain.
 

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Hi Mist

I'm English but live in Spain and am starting an ivf cycle with DE in madrid. Last night I had a call from my doctor to say that the embryo bank had 2 possible matches.  One perfect match ie. A+ blue eyed, pale skinned blond however, she can't start treatment for at least 2 months due to a cyst) and one A+ blond with pale skin and honey eyes who can start immediately. It's funny up until now DP and I have been quite adamant that we would only accept donor with blue or green (DPs) eyes, hair colour was not so important as although I'm blond he is dark however, when I comes to the crunch all we really want is a chance to be parents to a hopefully healthy baby.  So we have opted for the honey eyes.

I did enquire about treatment at Cornells in NY their reputation and statistics are excellent however, I was told the wait for DE could be 2 years and due to my advancing age cant wait that long.

good luck with whatever clinic/country you decide

Julie

 

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Hi Mist

Completely understand how you feel - my eggs were destroyed by chemo 9 years ago...

I have been having treatment in the States at Advanced Fertility, New York under a fantastic consultant.  They are great there - unbelievably friendly & really at the cutting edge of treatment.  My first attempt with a donor egg was unsuccessful however on the second attempt I got pregnant with twins!  Even in the month between the first & second attempts they had changed the monitoring of the womb lining & postponed my treatment until they had worked out a way to get more blood flow to the lining of the uterus!
The treatment is expensive (we paid 25, 000 USD) but after the initial payment it is free until you have used up any frozen embryos.  I would be happy to give you any further info if you let me know!

Cheers

Anna
 
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