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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
  Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a
question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
        In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She
responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't
the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
        The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
        She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and
his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him.'
        The defense attorney nearly died.
        The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench
and, in a very quiet voice, said,
        'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair.'

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