I had surgical management today and the hospital will do cytogenetic testing of the baby. We have no idea why this happened - it was a PGS normal embryo and we were on all the immune drugs under the sun. But even with a hb and on track growth at 8 weeks, 4% of pregnancies still fail. We were that 4%.
Hugely devastating for us. We have one PGS embryo left and after that will call a halt to our fertility journey as it’s been too long and too hard now. Been at this TTC lark since Dec 2014.
I wish you all happy and healthy pregnancies and will be praying you know the joy of finally holding your little miracles in your arms. It’s like nothing else. We are so blessed to have our DD and are hugging her that bit tighter today.
Just over 48 hours till our 6 week scan and I'm probably having the first wobble since getting my BFP. Im trying to remain positive and praying that everything is going to be ok just struggling to shake that tiny fear in the back of my mind.
I know its too early to be having any kind of real symptoms and i haven't had any really from the start other than some slightly sensitive nipples but that comes and goes.
Im sure its totally normal to feel this way, im kinda getting used to this being our time and im just so frightened of getting the rug pulled from underneath us.
Going to do some visualization and positive thinking in my room today and see if that helps.
Hey all - not the best news for us at the moment. We had our first scan yesterday and they was a small gestational sac 7.6mm and a small (barely visible yolk sac). The whole experience was traumatic as i had to be scanned twice as the first probe wasn't as accurate apparently and had the sac measuring at 6mm. They didn't fill me with much hope saying that at the moment they 'cant see a pregnancy'. I though i was 6w3d but really hoping that little embie is just a bit behind and when we go for the scan next week the fetal pole will have grown.
Have to have bloods taken tomorrow and see how they compare with the ones yesterday that they will ring and give us results of today. Trying to stay positive but struggling. Why is this journey so hard?
Hey Jen, I think 6-7 weeks is really early and many times they can't see much yet. From what I've learnt in the last couple of weeks things can really speed up. Wishing you all the best for your next scan! And all the best with the bloods. I didn't really have many symptoms and those I do have come and go.for example my sore boobs are suddenly gone. I also haven't felt any nausea (unless that slightly queasy feeling I occasionally get is supposed to be morning sickness ?! Only get it when I haven't eaten)....
Omnomnom congratulations on your scan and all the best on the due date thread!
Afm had another reassurance scan today at 8w3d and so so happy that it's only one day behind now and the heartbeat is really strong. I know from recent events here that it probably means nothing and anything can happen at any time, but for today all is good. For anyone reading and concerned about measurements and progress at 6w6d the heartbeat was 108-112 and CRL 3mm. At 8w3d the heartbeat was 178 bpm and CRL 17.6mm. So A LOT can change in a really short space of time. Just hope it continues. I don't even know what to do next. I guess contact GP and midwife?!
Jen - fingers crossed for your bloods tomorrow! I’ll be thinking of you. It is still so early and so many things can change. I agree, it is such a hard journey.
Omnon - congratulations! I guess this became now so real. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Kat - congratulations on your scan! I’ve been thinking to have another private until my NHS one which is booked for 17th October. It would be reassuring, but I guess I’m also worried to have it ... if it makes sense. Still no symptoms other than being more hungry than usual.
Magic - I hope you are feeling better.
Afm- my cold is gone. I have had my first GP bloods today and the midwife appointment was last week. It was very informative .... however I won’t see them again until 11th Nov (if everything goes well).
I will attend a meditation class tomorrow for the first time, hopefully that will help with my anxiety levels. I am also listening to some podcasts lately by Cat Strawbridge. They did help a bit.
Thanks Ally and Kat Kat - I know its early days i just got the impression from the hospital they they were expecting to see a bigger pregnancy sac and old sac, they said it should look a bit like a diamond ring. My yolk sac was so small you could barely see it.
Katkat - pleased your reassurance scan went well. Seems like things are progressing nicely for you.
Ally - Im sure everything will be fine. Fingers crossed the next few weeks until you NHS scan go well.
AFM - Bloods came back yesterday as 2880 and today 3500 so only about 20% which im a bit disappointed about. The hospital said it doesn't really tell us much and that its not bad news as such but we are still really in limbo. Another scan booked in for next wed see if they can see anything more.
Nervously joining you ladies at 4+5. A few friendly and familiar names on here, I hope things are going well for you all. Jenstuttz, I hope you're holding up ok, I know how anxious this time can be.
For those I haven't spoken to before, this is my second BFP from my second FET. My first FET was a BFN and my first fresh was a MMC at 10 weeks. Having had a previous loss I feel very anxious that it's going to happen again and it's a shame because I really want to just enjoy being pregnant again. I do know from what happened to me before that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the outcome but I will need all of your help in keeping a positive mental attitude and assuming the best until I have definite reason not to. My first scan isn't until 7+4 so a good 3 weeks before I'll know what's what.
Welcome Missl and congratulations on your BFP! I and very sorry for your previous losses. I understand you perfectly and I definitely feel the same. I'm rejoicing this moment as much as I would've wanted
Jen - one week to go u til your scan, I know it seems quiet a long time but try and take each day as it comes. Easier said than done ... I know.
Afm - I found myself today googling early scan near me as I don't know if I can wait until the 17th October .. x x x
Ally how many weeks/ days will you be on the 17th? Are you still doing the intralipids? I got a cold sore now! Not sure if it's cause the immune system is so suppressed by it or due to the lack of sleep (my only real symptom is waking up at 3am and then no longer being able to fall asleep). By the way the scan reassured me exactly for one day!
Jen just saw your update on bloods. I am no expert but if the clinic is ok about it then I'd keep the hope very much alive and fingers crossed for your next scan. Willing this embryo on for you!
MissL73, so nice to see you on here! We've messaged about lining etc. previously. I am with you - anything can happen and nothing much we can do but hope for the best. One day at a time. I am also anxious about the next few weeks. I still haven't told the lovely ladies and friends on my other thread that I even had a bfp (but I guess they can easily find me). Just can't bring myself to say it out aloud.
Jen - sorry to hear that your scan didn't give you the reassurance that you were hoping for. Really hope that next week's scan gives you brilliant news! They're so tiny at this point that hopefully it was just tricky to measure and is catching up.
Kat - good to hear that your scan went well today. Yes, I'd probably ring your GP and see what they'd like you to do. From what I've gathered each area can be different. Last pregnancy my GP referred me to a midwife but this time they had no idea why I was ringing them and said I had to ring the hospital and that it's all changed. However, another family member of mine that is currently pregnant was still referred through her GP!
Missl - so good to see you here! Wishing you the best of luck over the next 8 months! Will be following to see how you're getting on.
I'm going to be similar to Omnom. I'm now 15+5 so really should just shift over to the due date thread! I have a gender scan too on Saturday so will update on here at the weekend and then probably move over properly!
Kat - did you call your GP or midwife for advise? I always get one approx once a year. Last time I had it was last December. I usually link it with stress and tiredness, in my case. And also suffering with insomnia. Used to drink herbal teas from HB and take tablets sometimes. But of course not now. It comes and goes. I wake up during the time around 2 ish to go to the toilet and then find it hard to fall back to sleep.
I will be 11 weeks and 6 days if everything goes well
Woke up a bit restless, thinking something bad might happen. Still haven't decided on the scan. Meditation didn't help much last night as couldn't switch off.
Ive done intralipids last week. The next appointment should be the last one.
x x x
Hannah - Thank you for your kind words. I guess having never been in this position i don't really know what i expected to see but thought we would have seen a little bit more based on my dates. It was just such a shock when we didnt as we had been so positive up to that point. Good luck for you gender scan!
missl73 - i really an affinity with your story. The excitement of a BFP can so easily turn to anxiousness and your right we have absolutely no control over what happens. Its just so hard to be positive sometimes and hope for the best whilst also being scared of being let down isnt it. Your numbers on your beta looked really good so i hope everything is getting really snuggles in tight for you.
ally389 - i dont think that restlessness every goes away till you have a baby in your arms. Its so hard to switch off sometimes. ive heard that insomnia is quite common in early pregnancy. Yeah less than a week to go and hopefully we will have more answers and they will be positive ones. Wish i could just hibernate till next week haha.
katkat - thanks it really is just a waiting game for us. I hate this feeling of being in limbo. Its funny how our moods can change from being reassured one day to back to being anxious the next.
AFM - Im trying my best to keep my spirits up. I think perhaps a few days offline might be beneficial as ive lost track of the amount of threads and stories ive read looking for answers. It seems to be about a 50/50 split of success and failed. The clinic havent really filled us with hope and i know they didn't want to over promise but i just feel really lost and alone. All i know is that my HCG rose slightly so we are not totally out and hopefully embryo number 4 is still fighting. Its so stupid but i naively thought that once we had the implantation and bfp that things were finally going to be ok for us. DF is being great at trying to keep me positive but i know he is feeling really sad too as its all we have wanted for so long.
ally, you do whatever you need to do and if that means an earlier scan than I say go for it. Mine isn't until 15th October and I agree it feels very far away!!
katkat, it's so nice to be able to join you on here. After you got your BFP with a natural FET I was so hopeful so it's lovely that it worked for me too. I'm so with you on not being able to say it out loud, to be honest I only feel half pregnant if that makes sense?!
hannahdaisy can't wait to hear what you're having!
audiprincess, excited you're joining me on this board, fingers crossed we both have sticky ones.
jenstuttz, I strongly recommend stepping away from the boards and the google rabbit hole. While they are a great source of support much of the time, it did not do me any good when I was in your position last time. I drove myself insane. My best friend gave me some very good advice - she said it was my job to be my embryos number one cheerleader and that there was no point spending any more time being miserable than I had to. If the worst happened (in my case it did) then you're going to feel awful no matter what and preparing yourself for it doesn't make it any less bad (which was true), so focus on being happy and knowing right now you are pregnant. I know that is a lot easier said than done but I do think staying offline makes it easier. I actually used the screen time function on my iphone to ban myself from FF and only my husband knew the pin so I couldn't obsessively scroll through other people's stories even if I wanted to.
AFM, I need to take some of my own advice. I can't help feeling like I'm only here temporarily until someone tells me it's over. I really, really want to be happy and to believe it's all going to work out fine but I am finding it very hard. It perhaps doesn't help that it's almost exactly one year since I was in the same position when it all went wrong so it feels like a slightly weird sense of déjà vu. My rational brain knows this is a totally different pregnancy and that statistically the odds are massively in my favour. My emotional brain feels like I'm re-living what happened before all over again.
miss173 your thoughts on the forums is duly noted and I think I will log off too if I'd fee overwhelmed. But sometimes its good to be on board and sometimes I lurk. Hahahha! Anyway I had my first scan and things seemed fine. Hoping for good luck all around for all the ladies here!
jenstuttz I hope things will get better for you. Did they give you any advice and what to do while you wait?