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> Understanding Engineers - Take One
> Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where
> did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well,I was
> walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
> rode
> up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
> clothes
> and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly,
> 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
> **********************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two:
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
> half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
> **********************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three:
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
> guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
> don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
> here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George!
> Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't
> they?"
> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
> They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
> always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
> The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
> them tonight."
> The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
> buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
> The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
> **********************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four:
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
> ***********************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five:
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
> with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
> Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts
> degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
> ************************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six:
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
> designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
> Just
> look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
> The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
> The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
> toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
> *************************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven:
> Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
> yet."
> **************************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight:
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
> enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
> relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
> the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
> "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
> assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
> lab and get some work done."
> *************************************
> Understanding Engineers - Take Nine:
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
> picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
> beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took
> the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
> The frog then cried out,"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
> I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
> Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
> his
> pocket.
> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
> beautiful
> princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
> Why won't you kiss me?"
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

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