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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi

I wonder if anyone has had experience of this we went for our consultation last week and everything was going well until i was told our case had to be referred to the ethics committee as DH is over 55.

the consultant said that this is usually just a formality and everything should be fine, he also made a comment that DH has 7 children from 4 previous relationships( he was obviously very fertile before the vasectomy!)

this has made me feel really down to be honest i'm worried this will hinder our chances of having treatment and i really couldn't bear it if that happened, i am only 27 and haven't had any children and i hope that i wont be punished for having an older man.

we had our first treatment abroad and hubbys age was never an issue, i know there are strict guidelines in this country and i agree that it is for the welfare of the child, but to be honest it has made me feel really apprehensive the committee will meet on 19th May and our 1st appointment is 29th May i feel i can't look forward to our treatment until i know this committee will aprove us.

why does it have to be so hard? :'(

Not had any response from this so just wanted to ask is anyone having treatment with DH who's over 55?

Thanks :)
 

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Premium Member
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18,308 Posts
Hello Orange Butterfly, sorry you haven't had much response so far. I just wanted to reply because my DH is over 55 (58 this year in fact) although when we first had IVF he was 53 going on 54. HOwever, at the time of our last tretament cycle he was 55. He also has children from a previous relationship - just the 2 though! We had no problems or issues with him being accepted for treatment at all. The issue never even came up and I never gave it a second thought to be honest. I wonder if it's just your clinic that are questioning it? I wonder if their judgement is clouded by the fact he had a vascetomy or of it's because he has several children from more than one realtionship in the past? Perhaps they are thinking in terms of welfare of the child and the likelihood of your relationship not lasting? ??? Bit wrong if that is the case though as it's wrong to make assumptions about him, you or anything to do with his previous situation. At the end of the day he's gone through a lot already to try and make you a mummy and if he's prepared to go through IVF with your too then surely that shows how dedicated to you and his future children he will be.
Then again it might merely be a formality because their policies say they have to refer cases where one or the other partner is over a certain age and, perhaps this is just a case of rubber stamping it. Hard to say. Maybe you can ask why it is being referred exactly and if it is policy to do so and if they have ever treated others of similar age before?
I don't know what to advise to be honest, except to say perhaps you could submit a statement in support of your request for treatment (don't know if it would help or they would consider it) or perhaps look for another clinic that does not seem to have any ethical issues with treating you. ???
I do hope everything goes ok and you can go ahead with treatment as planned.

^reiki^

C~x
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the reply Caz

I appreciate your take on things the consultant did say to us that it is just a formality but i am a natural worrier and things like this dont help!! I think i will just be patient let the committee meet and see what the outcome is, then appeal if things don't go our way or as you say approach another clinic?

fingers crossed i will be worrying for nothing we have our treatment plan in place for beginning of June so things do look positive :)

your son is lovely xxxxxxxxxxxx
 
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