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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Please could someone help me.

I had my ET on the 20 October 2004 and started spotting on Tuesday this week (13 days after).

Due to take pregnancy test tomorrow morning but woke up this morning to heavy bleeding.

What happens now?  I have to ring the hospital tomorrow with the result of the pregnancy test which is obviously going to be negative.

Will they give me a scan to try and find out what went wrong or what will happen.

Please can someone help - I feel devastated and don't know what to do with myself.
 

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Hi
I'm really sorry you have started spotting, and I know how panic stricken it can make you and how desperate and sad too.  However please do a pregnancy test.    It is possible to bleed and be pregnant.  Especially if you're only spotting and not having full AF, it's not necessarily a bad sign.  If you get a positive test, call your clinic immediately and they will advise what to do next - probably a blood test to confirm what's going on.  They will probably also tell you to stay on cyclogest for a couple of days.

If it turns out that you're not pg, then you simply need to ring your hospital and they will tell you what to do in terms of when to stop cyclogest etc.    Hopefully they should book you in for a follow up appointment at your convenience.  You may want to do this straight away, or call them another time to do this.  It's unlikely you'll have a scan now, they may offer you one before you start another tx cycle.    There's not alot to see at this point.

Sadly then you are likely to feel a bit 'on your own' after all the appointments, when tx is over, between then and your next appointment you won't have much contact with them.    but that's what we're all here for. 

Please don't assume it's all over yet.  Whilst being realistic is sensible, I did get a positive test (although I lost it early) but I have friends - and my clinic told me of other examples - of people who have bled and gone on to have healthy pregnancies. 

I wish you the best of luck and a big hug.  Let us know how you get on.

love
Claire xx
 

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Oh no,

I am so very sorry that it looks as if the cycle has failed. Sending big ((HUGS)) to you.

There have been cases on FF of ladies who bleed on the 2ww, give up any hope and then went on to success.

I really hope that the bleeding stops and your test is positive today.

There was a separate thread on FF a while back on clinic after-care and the very poor quality of care offered to women with negative results and miscarriages.

My own experience was a phone call from the clinic to say that it was neg (I had to go in for a blood test) and then a long wait for a followup appointment. The counseling service offered at my hospital was pathetic.

Yours may hopefully offer something better if you feel that you need someone to talk to.

The follow-up appointment was even worse and no explanations were given or even scientific opinions - apart from the claim that my weight was to blame. The consultant was not interested in any further investigations - even some I suggested.  I had to do all of my research myself.

What did help me get over the negatives (and I don't think that I will ever fully recover from the grief) was to allow my emotions to flow and to cry/get angry as needed. These are very powerful and upsetting emotions and I hope that you get good support from your DH, friends and family.

In time we got over the worst of the shock and were able to try again.

A holiday abroad really helped after the first disappointment which sounds frivolous but it was an emotional dividing line between the failure and the next try. I understand that we cannot all afford this (we only could after our first attempt).

I sincerely hope that today you get a positive result.  Please let us know as I will be thinking of you.

With love from,
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you both for your responses.  It is really appreciated.

I did do my pregnancy test this morning and it was negative.  I rang the hospital who said they were very sorry and that they would send out a letter to say as much and a phone number to contact them to arrange a follow up visit.

The treatment we had was private as the current waiting list for us on the NHS is 2-3 years.

This has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster of our lives.
 

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Sweetheart I'm really sorry it didn't happen for you this time.    It is really devastating and there's only really time and being close to your DP that will get you over this.  And of course lots of cyber hugs from fertility friends.  ^hugme^  But it does get better in time, honestly.

Will you try again?  If you do, there's lots of experience and advice on this site to help you plan and get ready for it, so you can go on to try with some confidence and big hopes in your heart it can work for you. 

Also the clinic now knows a bit more about you and how you responded to the treatment, so your next cycle will be that bit more tailored to you.  I find it helps to prepare yourself for your follow up appointment and think about everything you want to ask, as there's a bit of a wait now and it made me feel more in charge of my situation.  They won't always be able to tell you everything but I found that especially after having the first cycle fail, I was more anxious about my second because I knew more about what could go wrong. I coped with this by being considerably better informed about what my tx would involve, doing lots of research and starting early to prepare physically, diet, acupuncture etc to go into my next cycle. You may find it helps - it feels more like you're in control anyway!

Best of luck and lots of love and sympathy, I'm so very sorry.

Claire x
 
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