[annairb]

Another new person here and I have to say I have mixed feelings about finding this site. Firstly I'm angry that no one has told me about it before, secondly, relieved that people are going through the same thing and that there is somewhere to rant, cry and support each other. Thirdly, am now petrified that I've not prepared or done enough to give the best possible chance.

It will be our first go at ICSI this Jan. My DH had testicular cancer a few years ago (when kids were not on the agenda), had some frozen, one removed and it's resulted in low sperm count. Fortunately there is nothing wrong with me and we were told ICSI was our best shot. I’ve been on supercur??! The make you go through the menopause and send you loopy injection. Experienced killer headaches and night sweats but is bearable (although DH may disagree)

Yesterday went in for baseline scan and to start menapor, (the kick start one?), at the same time as DH was having a SA. Everything was fine until half an hour later when we got a phone call saying that his sperm count is substantially reduced from previous SA and that they need to get hold of frozen sperm (from different hospital) asap.

And guess what…..I’ve fallen to pieces again! Just when I was starting to get a bit optimistic and positive I feel like we’ve been slapped in the face again. I’m so angry and tired, wish I could stop crying, wish I had the positive outlook that people keep telling me to hold on to, but I’m exhausted. 

 

[Fordy girl]

Hi ya,

I'm really sorry that this has happened. I'm not really sure what to say. I'm sending you a hug. 

Vicki x

 

[annairb]

Thanks fordy girl, I just keep reading, this site is fantastic, I'm so glad I found it, so many stories, so much support, so nice to know that your not alone. gotta keep your chin up havn't you.

 

[Fordy girl]

I'm not as for through the process as you. I have my second consultation next week and can't believe that I hadn't found this site before. I do think that keeping your chin up is important but it's much easier said than done. I hope things work out OK for you, I really do. I'm always here to chat if you want.

Vicki 

 

[Maisyz]

Hi, good luck with everything. Think I would have gone completely mad if I hadn't found this site too. Helped me accept actually it's perfectly normal to cry your eyes out over all this and feel completely rubbish some days.  It'd be more weird if I (or any of us) were wandering about like some Pollyanna type being all joyful. Sadly sometimes things just are rubbish and its OK to sob. How I look at it anyway. Take care and I hope you get your lovely little one very soon x

 

[wishing4miracle]

Its completely normal how you r feelin lovey.((((hugs)))).
Aslong as youve got a handful of sperm icsi will be fine.it only takes one sperm and egg to become a baby.lots of luck for tx

 

[Vix 1]

Annair - very briefly just hope i can help a bit. My partner had virtually zero sperm count and I got a bfp with ICSI. It wasn't to be but I really looked into this, and there are heaps of very successful pregnancies with very little to go on, on the male front. Even if you draw a blank after a few attempts with partner's sperm there are lots of other options for the future so try to remember there is always a way - with a will - and you WILL get your baby one day.

All love

 

[sallywags]

annair, welcome to FF hun - this will be a quick reply. I am one of the mods but don't really post on here these days (am mainly on international), but didn't want to read and run.  I would ask for more detail about the sperm hun - as someone else pointed out, you only need a few to fertilise the eggs.

anyhow, i am going to give you some links to the site that might help, in case you haven't found them yet.    good luck with it hun - i'm living proof that icsi does work, and my fsh was through the roof too - so there is hope!

back in a sec...

xx

 

[sallywags]

Ok hun, here are 3 links for you:

icsi support thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=31.0

cycle buddies - this is others going through treatment at the moment - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=58.0

and male factors in infertility: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0

i hope these helps hun

xx

 

[annairb]

Thank you so much people

sallywags, the mens room looks good and I'm off to investigate.

We went to our centre today to get consent forms for sperm transfer and were given another blow. The sample showed 3 sperm, I have no idea how to feel about that...gutted and shell shocked that it has gone down that much...confused as to why?....or okish because the 3 were healthy.

am off to read about others and hopefully get some hope and perspective. Thankyou, you lovely people xxx

 

[sallywags]

Thisis definitely the best place to be - it has kept me sane for the last 6 years, and I don't know what i would have done without it.  I'm so glad you have found us hun - and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

xx

 

[Danii]

Hiya,

Reading through all the little headings yours jumped right out at me! I completely understand how you feel, I am so tired sometimes of having babies on the brain, it feels like there are days when no matter where I look there is something that reminds me of my situation.  I am not as far as you, I'm on the waiting list for IVF funding and should hear I hope soonish and I only discovered FF this week!  I am hoping, like you, that having room to vent with people who understand rather than just sympathize will really help me avoid my usual meltdowns every month or so!

Am keeping my fingers crossed for you that ICSI works fast for you.  Its hard to keep sane (ish) sometimes, huh! x

 

[Hbkmorris]

Annairb

Just wanted to say your not alone. I do understand how your feeling as my DP has had several SA tests and his last one came back worse than ever with 0.8 of a thous!! We to are having ICSI I started stimms on Wednesday 5th Jan and so far the heads about to explode, the night sweats are immense so much so I don't sleep much during the night and to top it off the bloomin mood swings are crazy!!!

I asked my clinic about pre-freezing some of my dp sperm but they said it's not required as they only need upto 10 so all would be fine. I must be made to put the trust into consultants but they do get paid loads and we're having to self fund so I really need to chill and let them do what's best

Anyway Best of Luck all.. Happy poking & prodding x