Hi there - I've been doing ok for a while, but I just know I'm about to go into a slump. And it's all because of a friend I'm meeting on Friday. We go back years, to school days, although I haven't seen her for 5 years - and you know why? Cos she had a baby girl just a month before Grace would have been due. I couldn't face seeing her and have managed to avoid meeting up with this friend ever since. After I kept blowing her out on invites to see her at her home (with her 4 lovely kids) she has asked that we meet, just the two of us in town. This is good - as it shows some understanding of my situation, and so I agreed. But to be totally honest - I don't want to go. This is the friend who always got better grades than me, was always slimmer, and now she's the one with the blossoming family life (and a career - she's a GP!) And here I am - no hope of kids, fat and 40 (actually 42!!!) I feel like a loser - like I've done nothing. Dh says I shouldn't be competitive - but it's not really about that - it's just a feeling of being inadequate I guess. My self esteem is prettty low. I mean, I could say I've done well in not topping myself at various points these last 5 years - but that isn't really something you put on your cv, now is it?