[L-J]

Hi there,

I am hoping that you wise women may be able to give me a view on things, please.......

I have an 18 month old daughter, conceived naturally after a long road of failed treatments.  I am still breastfeeding her, although it is only at night, probably once at bedtime, and then two to three times during the night (this is all part of a sleeping pattern that I havent yet managed to sort out, but that is another story....).

I would dearly love to have a second little one, but I am clear that I will not go down the treatment route, as it didnt work last time!  So, I am leaving it to nature, and I am quite realistic that this is a long shot...... as well as the history of unexplained infertility, I am 41, so not exactly prime time......

Now, my periods returned about 6 months ago, so I assumed (maybe wrongly) that this signalled that I was back to being fertile again (albeit my own rather unreliable level).  I assumed that my continuing to breastfeed would not now be holding back my fertility.

However, several people lately have said to me that I should stop breastfeeding in order to give myself the best chance of conceiving.  This has started to put doubts in my mind, and I am wondering if my continuing to breastfeed might actually still be impacting my fertility levels.

What do you think?  I have read that you have to be really breastfeeding round the clock etc in order to treat it as a form of contraception (and an unreliable one at that).  Is that really the case?

I am not attached to continuing breastfeeding, it is more that I cannot actually see a way through convincing my daughter that she doesnt need/want it through the night, and I dread the recurrant melt downs that I feel sure would happen.  I have been hoping that she would naturally wean, but no sign so far.  She would gladly feed during the day too, if I let her, but I am firm with her on this (mostly!).

It is playing on my mind now that I may be reducing my already dodgy fertility by indulging my daughter, and that maybe I need to be firmer and cease the breastfeeding right now.

What do you think? 

L-J

 

[mayve]

I am in the very same boat and very confused (perhaps sad) of what to do (although I know the answer).


In my case, though, my cycles still haven't returned and DS is 25 months.


I just went to my gyn the other day and asked him the same types of questions. He pretty much said although some (few!) woman conceive while bfing, for the most part, it does not happen, due to absent ovulation, the eggs don't mature and/or the endometrium isn't thick enough to implant. He also pointed out that the age factor (I'm 40) and prior history of fertility issues just aggravate the situation.
He advised me to quit bfing (DS feeds a few times early morning and upon waking, before nap, after nap, and before bed and whenever else I let him) and wait 3 cycles and then to check the endometrium (right now mine is only 1.7mm instead of the 7mm needed for implantation).


He also spoke of a light regime of meds to help the follicles along (nothing like an IUI/IVF cycle).


I would give up bfing, but I can't see convincing DS to go along with the idea either. I too was hoping (and still am!) that he will self wean, say .... day after xmas.


On the other hand I figure it might be a really slim chance the I could ever be so fortunate to fall pg naturally again considering our IF past, that I might as well BF DS until he decides to stop.


Let me know how you get on.


mayve xx


p.s.  BFing is thought to suppress the GnRH hormone which is necessary for the secretion of LH.

 

[some1]

L-J and Mayve - wishing you so much luck with ttc number 2, I don't really know much about the relationship between fertility and breastfeeding, but I might be able to help a little with stopping breastfeeding a toddler as gently as possible. I stopped breastfeeding my dd when she was about 16 months old and did it very gradually with no tears at all (from either of us). Here is a link to the thread that I started back then, which includes a summary of how it worked out for us in the end http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=235794.msg3757722#msg3757722

I was very, very lucky and got pregnant just a couple of months later (at age 38, with FSH of 13.5) - hoping the same kind of luck comes your way too ladies

Also, have you looked at the hoping for a second miracle board? http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=153.0 TTCing while breastfeeding is a topic that comes up fairly frequently on that board.

Some1

xx

 

[L-J]

Maybe - We have the same dliemma, don't we?  Would stopping actually make any difference to our fertility??  I guess there is only one way for us to know, and that is to bite the bullet and stop.....

Some1 - thank you for the link.  I will read through it, and I think I will set myself a date in the time after Christmas to get on with doing it...... My daughters sleeping is getting worse and worse, and I think that part of that is the attraction of feeding in the night, so if I stop, I will at least start to hopefully get acme more sleep, even if I don't get pregnant!

It is hard, though, I am squirming at the thought of it even as I type........!

 

[strawbs]

Hi on my phone so brief! I bf ds1 until he self weaned at 10.5m, I had only had 2 afs whilst bf. I fell pg immediately upon stopping (sadly m/c) I then fell pg immediately again after the m/c. So after taking 4 years of ttc + lots of failed fertility tx for ds1, it would seem a baby + stopping bf made me super fertile! I think any hormone inbalance (those needed to produce milk) really does have an affect on fertility.
On another note ds2 was feeding 2-3 times every night. I then stopped his mid morning feed (he was away from me 3days a week at childcare + didn't miss it so just didn't offer when he was with me )interestingly within 3days of doing this he started sleeping through!! This makes me think, he was snacking rather than feeding. I have now also got him to take a tiny bit of formula at 3pm so down to 2 feeds per day, I have had 1af, he is 9m. The weaning process has begun! After christmas the diet starts to lose a stone before ttc again!.

Good luck
Strawbs x

 

[Just a girl]

Hi L-J

My son is 19months old and is still feeding, mainly twice a day.  We were ttc for 5 years before attempting IVF after being diagnosed with unexplained fertility, we were very fortunate that it worked first time. 
Prior to having G my cycle was very regular and AF would turn up day 28/29 without fail.  Since my cycle returned back in June (G was 13 months old when it returned) it has been all over the place and the last 2 month's not turning up until day 34. 
On Monday this week I had reached day 36 so I thought that maybe I should do a HPT just to take make sure and to my complete and utter surprise it was a BFP  , still hasn't sunk in.
So it can happen 


Just after I had G My Midwife told me that in order to use Breastfeeding as an effective form of contraceptive you needed to be feeding every 2 hours around the clock.

Right off to read these weaning threads.

Merry Christmas everyone  xxx

 

[L-J]

Strawbs - super fertile sounds great!

JAG - congratulations on your new BFP!!

 

[jojo29]

Just wanted to add I ttc for years, high fsh/male factor etc etc but I got pregnant with no 2 when i was still breastfeeding LO, she was 9 months and I was feeding only once a day, so it can work.
good luck
jojox

 

[L-J]

Hi there,

I thought I would update this thread with where I am at regarding Bfing......

I stopped breastfeeding my 19 month old st the end of January.  We were down to night time feeds only, but she was still feeding on and off many times during the night.  I went cold turkey, and for two nights she was in bed with me, screaming, crying, hitting, even biting me.  Very distressing, but I kept reassuring her that everything was Ok, and that she was a big girl now....... By night three, she didn't even ask for a feed, and slept through the night.  For the first time ever!  In the last month she has not asked for a feed, and has slept in her own cot, sleeping through most nights.  I can hardly believe that it is the same child.....

I loved feeding her, and I will cherish those 19 months.  However, I do now feel liberated and much more rested for having stopped!  I was worried that I woild lose a special bond with her, but our relationship has not changed, thankfully.

Regarding pregnancy, I am not pregnant yet....... But we are going to try for the next six months, up until
my 42nd birthday, and see if a miracle happens.  If it doesn't, then I will be content with my lot.....

Good luck to all, whether you are breastfeeding, thinking about stopping, already pregnant again, or just hoping, like me!

L-J

 

[*Suze*]

Hi L-J

thank you soo much for updating how you got on, your lo sounds just like Libby, she only feeds during the night and im dreading stopping but have to for tx in the summer, i was going to use dr sears method of withdrawing but sounds like your way worked really well and i like the idea of cuddling my lo rather than leaving it to dh to soothe her, which i know will be very hard!

im too looking forward to having a full nights sleep!

good luck for ttc
love
Suze xx

 

[L-J]

Hi Suze,

I am not sure why I ended up doing it as I did...... My husband was working abroad, so I didn't have any on hand support; my nipples were very very sore, and that encouraged me to go through with it and stick with it; I think I just plunged into it on the spur of the moment and went with the flow!  Looking back, I am amazed that I did it!  But, I think it was probably the best way to do it for us...... If I had tried a more gradual approach, I am not sure I would have ever actually finished, and my daughter would not have got a clear message from me as I would have almost certainly wavered. 

Best of luck with it, whenever and however you decide to tackle it.

L-J x