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Discussion Starter · #1 ·

My name is Fran, and I am new here to this forum. I found it when I was googling Surrogacy and adoption. My story briefly: I have had two children. One born at 26 weeks due to severe early onset preeclampsia. He is now 3. And one stillborn at 24 weeks, again due to severe early onset preecclampsia. I have now been told it is too dangerous to me and the baby to try again for another. We are gutted, but have started looking into other ways to have a 2nd child.

What I want to know is, firstly, what are the realistic chances of us finding a surrogate when we already have a child? Are people more likely to pick childless couples? What is the average waiting time to find a surrogate?

I havent spoken to my consultant yet, but do you know if we would qualify for surrogacy? I have seen it stated that you need a gp letter stating why you cannot carry a child. I have been told not to due to pe. Is this an acceptable reason? (I was very ill both times, and of course we ended up losing a child as well).

I am amazed at the costs of surrogacy. Never thought having a child would be so expensive (just to get one)

Look forward to getting to know you all

849 Posts
welcome to ff im sure one of the lovely moderators will be along with all the links that will help to answer your questions.
really hope that your journey becomes a positive really soon  ^reiki^
sorry i have no answers re surrogacy but some one will help soon
sorry for your loss
you will find some confort from the others on here that will have shared your experiences

Premium Member
6,838 Posts
Hi Fran.
Firstly welcome to FF :), I hope it helps you along your way to completing your family :)

When we went in to surrogacy we had to give a reason why we were going down the surrogacy route, and I am sure yours is a very acceptable reason :)

I am sure you will find a surrogate, lots go on to have another child for the same family, so I am sure there are surrogates out there that will help you

Just want to wish you luck, and hope you find a surrogate soon :) :)

love Jo
x x x

155 Posts
Hi Fran,
Our son was stillborn in 2001 at 24 weeks.It would have been his seventh birthday yesterday, had he been born on his due date.
We joined Surrogacy UK two years later, and after quite a long wait met our surrogate and we now have a beautiful daughter who is 19 months.

There are surrogates who will work with couples who already have a child, and several at SUK have had siblings for a couple. Each surrogate has their own individual views on who they would work with.
At SUK there is no average waiting time to find a surrogate,as everything is based on friendship, so it really depends who you click with.
Some people find a surro within weeks, we took 2.5 years.
What i would say having lost a child myself is do make sure you are ready emotionally before embarking on surrogacy.
We took two years to start to come to terms with the death of our son, before joining surrogacy groups.
You do have to be strong to do surrogacy, as it can be an emotional roller coaster.
Like having a baby naturally there are no guarrantees.
I wish you good luck and hope your dreams do come true.
  x :)

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