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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all

We are to meet our lo in 9 days now. Wow 9 days that feels soooo close!!!

We are both beginning to panick a little and my head is working over time trying to imagine what happens and the best way to be

Our lo is 22 months and has lived with the amazing fc's since 11 days old

The fc's are virgins as this is there 1st placement but so far have been behond amazing and have gone above and behond they have 4 children of there own of varying ages

So my 1st question is what should we expect on day 1? When the fc opens the door what next? Should we take a gift? We have already given lo a bear that we slept with and a replica of our dog. Lo loves books and I have brought loads and I thought maybe take a book so lo could come to us to read but would that appear to pushy? Lo apparently likes a little time to warm up to people and I want her to be able to come round in her own time but I also dont want fc's to think we are not interested enough!!! I have pretty much kitted her room out and have brought her about 5 dolls complete with assesorys so could take any of that but again dont want to appear as yet another visitor bearing christmas gifts????

I have also brought small gifts for the fc's children and fc's. When should I give these?? The 1st day would be too much but so would the last day wouldnt it?

We have been told we have 7 days of intros. Does anyone have any idea what the schedule may be?

We have the planning meeting next week so I will find out about that then but wondered about others experiences

We have been in daily contact through emails with the FC's but I am very aware that they will also be feeling some very overwhelming emotions and so dont really want to ask them what they suggest

They really are amazing and provided us with photos and info about lo over christmas. They really seem happy that we are to be matched with lo but I am still worried how this will be for them

Sorry for such a long fractured post

My head is a bit confused today "as always!"




Firstly congrats on being matched and so pleased that the foster carers are being so supportive.  We didn;t do introcuctions as such as we were already foster carers, but from my experience, my advice is take it slowly.  Perhaps take a book/small toy with you on the first day, but be flexible as to whether or not you give it to your LO - it might be a good ice-breaker or it might overwhelm them. 

You have the planning meeting this week and should be able to get lots of answers then - the SWs have lots of experience in this situation and the foster carers know your LO best, so between them will be able to advise.  Why not write a list of your questions now so you can check you get all the answers at the planning meeting. 

In terms of the foster carers, they probably have mixed emotions - part of them will be sad to see the LO go, but part will be pleased they are going to a fabulous new family and their job is to prepare them for that move.  Good foster carers wil be able to shield you and the child from any negative emotions.  A small gift for them and their children will be appreciated and I'd probably give it on the day you take LO home. 

Hope all goes well and can't wait to hear more.


65 Posts

As you already know we are at the same stage as you. Planning meeting on Tuesday and then in the afternoon we will finally get to meet our DS... Can't believe I am actually typing that!!!! ;D 
I have exactly the same feelings as you. Excitement and anxiety all rolled into one. To be honest I have slept properly since matching panel... I even bought a couple of books on amazon at about 2 in the morning on looking after toddlers! It is so scary isn't it?
We haven't got anything for the foster carers yet but will do - not quite sure what yet though! Not sure either about taking a gift for lo - I have plenty of things i could take though...

I will update you in the week to let you know how things are going!  :)  We have been told that our lo should move in on either the 11th, 12th or 13th - depending how things are going.
Feels so strange but a good strange - don't think I will sleep much on Monday night...

Rossi xxxx 

Premium Member
912 Posts
Hello, January is here at last for you!

What to expect - that's easy. Expect to be the most knackered you've ever been!  ;D

With both of ours, our first meet with them was for an hour at the FCs house.  On both occasions the FCs handed them to us as soon as we walked in the door which was lovely.  Obviously this wouldn't be a good idea if the child was upset, but our 2 were fine.  :)  It was such a magic moment, ingrained on my memory forever.  ;)

We were told to bring some toys from home, then leave one with the child and take the others home each day.  This meant that when they came to our house for the first time there were some familiar toys.

I'd leave the pressie for the FC's and children until the day before your LO comes home.  Both of our sets of FCs would have been unable to cope with a big goodbye on the last day as we were all so emotional, so in both cases we did the Goodbye/Presents/Photos on the day before so the final handover was quick and less stressful. 

During intros we did hand prints with ours, then stuck them onto a poem about sticky fingerprints and foster carers!  We gave them this at the handover as something for them to look at once we'd gone.

We had one terrific set of carers and one awful set who didn't want Cookie to be adopted by anyone other than themselves.  This meant we had a really tough week, but it sounds like your FCs are on the ball.  :)

Not many sleeps to go now!

Premium Member
4,046 Posts
how exciting!

think the others have answered your questions well..just wanted to add one thing..our FC (experienced) was keen to let me take over straight away as she knew i had experience and didnt want to kind of get in the way..but i'd read in a book that its important for the child to see FC gives permission for you to do tasks for them..so for eg, at mealtimes, whilst it was ok for me to sit with DD and held feed her, i asked FC to still be in the room so DD could see that FC was comfortable with me..same with first few bathtime/dressing/nappy changes etc..it might be hard if child resists you taking over the care, luckily we didnt have that DD was gagging for us to do everything lol..but just something to keep in mind..it was something i hadnt really thought of, that the child needed that reassurance of FC 'permission'..after all you could be bloomin anyone..if the person they trust most shows that you are an ok person then you're on your way..

kj x
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