Fertility Friends Support Forum banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
133 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone,

Well today was one of those hard days you just cant explain to people who are not going through infertility.

My sister in law (dh sister) told us 3 months ago she was starting to try for a baby, she was so lovely told us to prepare us for the event of it happening. She told us how important we would be in the babys life as Aunty and Uncle and that she would understand if some days we could not visit her if she was pregnant depending on how we were feeling. She said if she had a baby we could stay away when we needed to or come visit and give baby a snuggle when we needed to. They were so understanding of our feelings and the struggle of infertility.

Well today we got the call, could we come visit they had something to tell us. Yup 3 months of trying and they are pregnant. Dont get me wrong I am 99.9% over the moon for them we are all very very close so we are glad they dont have to go thro the hell of infertility like we have and we are delighted to be Aunty and Uncle.

BUT........ yes that 0.1% of us is dying inside that they just decided to have a baby and 3 months later there you go the big announcement. I feel like it is so unfair. My poor dh is worse than me he is so upset feels its all his fault that we cant be making the dreamed of announcements due to his IF. I have tried to reassure him but it hurts him so much. It was hard to sit there tonight and talk about how the happily the rest of the family will react to the big announcement when it is a dream we dream so often.

Guys thanks for the vent I know you will understand..

Ruthx
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,259 Posts
Hi Ruth

Just wanted to send you a hug...... days like this are hard to cope with.

Clare
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,207 Posts
Ah Ruth......i'm sorry hun. I know you're really happy for them but it always feels like a kick in the guts too. Hold on to your dreams,

Sending you lots of hugs, Lizzy xxx
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,894 Posts
Ruth

Know the feeling well. You let off as much as you like. Here is a huge cyber ^Cuddle^ and give your DH a hug too.

Love Kimx  x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,317 Posts
Ruth & DH!

Days like these are so hard aren't they? I know I have my dream come true about to happen but so many of my friends/family also made the "announcement" too whilst we were ttc and waiting for appts etc!

You rant and rave on here all you wish hunny bun, we are all here for each other regardless of where we are tx wise, pg etc !!

Sending the biggest ^Cuddle^ for both of you!! If you need a chat, feel free to IM hun!

Take care sweetie!

^Heart^

Shezza

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
Hi,

Sorry about what you are going through. I know about the good + the bad days. I have just endured 2 babies being born to close friends. The baby i misscarried this year would be due soon and to top that my best friend has just told be she is pregnant. The sad thing is she was crying for me. :'(
You will get through it and be strong most days and when your not we are all here for you.  ^reiki^

Bye
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,014 Posts
Ruth and DH

Yep, I know EXACTLY how you feel, been there many times too.

Sending you huge hugs, we are all here for you to talk to.

Love Jules xxxxxxxxxx
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,610 Posts
awwww ruth i know how you feel hun, when a close friend of mine was pg i was happy for her but sad for me as i thought it should of been my turn as it was her second baby while i had ttc ^Cuddle^ ^Cuddle^

luv pam xxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
35 Posts
Hi Ruth! Hope you are feeling a bit brighter now.

I too know how you feel. My sister got pregnant 'by accident' about 4 weeks after us. I lost my baby and hers is now a thriving, gorgeous, totally lovable little girl. I adore her, but part of me always wonders what mine, who would have been so close in age, would have been like. Since I lost my baby I have had to endure a set of twins and three singletons at work, all now born; two singletons on the way for friends; my niece; my cousin's two children (one nearly two, the other born in July).... the list goes on!

If it helps, I find dealing with the end result much easier than dealing with a bump - you can't help but love the baby, so there is an 'end' of sorts to the pain.

^Cuddle^

Love Katie x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,063 Posts
Keep your chin up missy

We have our initial consultation in November for IVF.  I know what you are going through - the number of friends who have been afraid to tell us that they are expecting is silly.  You're really happy for them, who wouldn't wish that - it's not as if you're never going to talk to them again!!  It's just how the dice roll - unfortunately I think we must be rolling 1's  :'(

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
282 Posts
Hi Ruth,

We all now how you must be feeling as we have all experienced it one point or other.

My sis-in-law phoned one evening and told us she was 10 weeks pregnant, my niece will now be 3 in January and I can count on my two hands how many times I have seen her and she only stays 10 miles away.  What made it so hard for us was this was the couple that never wanted children and they were blessed with a lovely little girl.

I know I will never be close to her and I suppose that is heartbreaking because it is not my nieces fault.

But I do not know if anybody feels the same, I could not cope with it when she was a tiny baby but know she is growing up it is a bit better.  Sorry if I did not make myself clear.

Anyway Ruth, take one day at a time and try and keep smiling

Ali
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
hello ruth,
Just thought id send you and your dh my love, and to say i know where your coming from, as you said its the 0.1% that hurts like hell x
Keep your chin up
Fingers crossed for your dream baby x
Laura x :)
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top